MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY & JESUS;
Another Look for Christians.
COPYRIGHT JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved. Portions of this file/document may be posted/published as long as the paragraph of the portion, the paragraph before the portion and the paragraph after the portion are included without any additional breaks or spaces, and the source and author are included with the protion posted/published.
Copyright 01/12/96; 11/10/05; 5/13/09 (Revised)
By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
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http://american-christian-polygynists.ning.com/
TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY, FORMAL AND INFORMAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES, CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY), RACISM, ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND THE SWEARING OF OATHS
This work is dedicated with love and honor to Carol Lynn McIntyre (of Oceanside's Camelot), Beverly Tyler (of Tennessee}, Diane Tava Lovelady (of Santee CA), Lua Nguyen (of Vietnam), Marilyn Tyler (of Canada), Paula D. (of San Diego, CA); Meli Bunnell (of Tepic, Nyarit Mex), and Carmen Guerrero (of Mazatlan, Mex).
This document can be found at the following Yahoo web site:
http://f1.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/YHdHSl2Su1RV45KoleWIn2axTJQI_y_iUobXaWci-FDhG
kstYMOEOWL6rTnjucZEb2RnHRqdhUNTEBUG9RU/MarDivorRemarPoly0509.html
OR
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy/files/
The file entitled MarDivorRemarPoly0509.html
It is also dedicated to all those who have suffered through divorce and the complexities of
remarriage, and to all of the following:
1. The shattered African polygynist husbands and their families who are made to feel like
second class citizens in the local church because of their polygyny, made to feel less loved
by Christ and made to feel less a child of God by the local "Christians".
2. The broken hearted Chinese polygynist wives and their children in their local churches
who are shunned by the "proper Christian" women and made to feel less welcome and
spiritually inferior because of their polygynous families.
3. The devastated Burmese polygynist husbands who believe in and have received the
Lord Jesus Christ, but who are rejected and shunned by the local "Christian"
church/leader because they love their wives too much to divorce them.
4. The grieved, stumbled, offended and broken hearted born-again and Spirit sealed Indian
wives and children of the born-again and Spirit sealed husband who loved his wives and
children too much to renounce and repudiate them in order to be baptized and accepted
by the local"Christian' church, and so now live in Christ, denied fellowship by their local
congregation of "Christians".
5. The discouraged Mid-Eastern polygynist husbands who genuinely wanted to know
Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving
faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/churches against them and their polygyny. It
would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the
Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the
Gospel!
6. The troubled Liberian polygynist wives and children who genuinely wanted to know
Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving
faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/women against them and their polygyny. It
would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the
Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the
Gospel!
7. The broken hearted, stumbled, offended and grieved Kenyan polygynist wives and
their children whose husbands and fathers were forced to reject and renounce them in
order to be baptized and join the local "Christian" church.; especially in the case where a
carnal husband used the church rule as an excuse to get rid of a wife and children he didn't
want.
8. The disconsolate Pakistani polygynist husbands who are stumbled, grieved, offended
and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how badly they
and their loved ones have been treated by the local "Christian" leader/church.
9. The grief stricken Bengali polygynist wives and children who are stumbled, grieved,
offended and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how
badly they and their loved ones have been treated by the "Christian" women of the local church.
10. The miserable Thai polygynist husbands who, with grave doubts and troubled hearts,
succumbed to "Christian" pressure to renounce and reject (Malachi 2:13-17) all of their
wives except one to satisfy the demands of some misguided "Christian" leader, or
association of "Christians".
11. The miserable American Christian woman, a genuine believer in Christ, who divorced her
genuinely saved Christian husband for "irreconcilable differences" as her pastor recommended,
married a "more godly" man, and now has realized that the Bible says she is maritally bound to her genuinely saved exhusband in the Kingdom of God as long as they both live, making her present marriage adultery - - - and she doesn't know what to do.
12. The miserable American Christian man, a genuine believer in Christ, who was divorced by his genuinely saved Christian wife for "irreconcilable differences" as her pastor recommended, who has gone on and married a "godly" Christian woman, and now has realized that the Bible says he is maritally bound to his genuinely saved exwife in the Kingdom of God as long as they both live, and he doesn't know what to do about the situation.
TABLE OF CONTENTS (PLEASE USE YOUR FIND TOOL TO FIND THE
CHAPTER BY THE CHAPTER ROMAN NUMERAL)
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED.
II. DIVORCE DEFINED, A Surprise
III. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.
IV-A. MARRIAGE AND POLYGYNY FROM GENESIS TO JUDGES
IV-B. MARRIAGE AND POLYGYNY FROM JUDGES TO JESUS
V. MARRIAGE, POLYGYNY, JESUS AND THE APOSTLES
VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISNT POLYGYNY ADULTERY?
VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN MY
COUNTRY?
VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN ERROR TODAY?
IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A
LOVING CONSCIENCE!
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND ADULTERY?
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER ADULTEROUS
REMARRIAGE?
XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH
REUNIONS?
XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN
POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE?
XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY AND THE UNSAVED.
XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/CONCUBINES TO HIS
"HAREM".
XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED
MAN?
XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE.
XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN.
XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY?
XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-TEACHERS RULE .
XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR MOST!
XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD!
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY
APPENDIX ONE: WHAT MAKES A WEDDING &/OR A MARRIAGE?
APPENDIX TWO: WHEN MUST ONE MARRY?
APPENDIX THREE: THE PRACTICE OF POLYGYNY IN AN HOSTILE
ENVIRONMENT
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES AND PARADIGMS RECONSIDERED
This study is the result of my own marital experience where I was divorced from my wife
and both of us claimed sincerely and earnestly that we were born again believers in the
Lord Jesus Christ. I was faced with the question, "What does a Christian do about his/her
need to marry when in a divorced-from-one and wanting-to- marrry-another situation, and
he believes that he/she and the Christian exmate are bound to each other maritally by the
Lord until death parts them?" Or ---- "What does a Christian do in a divorced-from-one
and remarried-to-another situation, and he/she believes that he/she and the Christian
exmate are bound to each other maritally by the Lord until death parts them?" And the
moral question: "Is it adultery or is it something else?"
As I read the papers and listen to the news many questions come to my mind. According
to the census department, 40% of Black women never marry. Single parent households
abound. Welfare undermines marriage by giving the mother an artificial and unearned
financial independence of the father. It gives them the option of being able to have a child
without having or needing a husband. It is very difficult for most man to comfortably stay
with a woman who doesnt need him and often has a more sure and steady income than he
has. Where are the Black men who love and desire these Black women? TV news special
after news magazine articles after newspaper articles tell about so many Black men who
are in serious trouble with the law. For many this reflects a economically crippling
attitude towards authority, society, their families, their women and their children. This
crisis for so many Black men, not wanted or needed by their women and rejected by the
majority society, is devastating to the Black family. So what is the solution for sincere
Black Christians dealing with the issues of divorce and remarriage in this context? I believe
this document has some radical but realistic solutions.
What about the widows of Rwanda, Burundi, Somalia, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Sri Lanka
and Bosnia? Are they doomed to a lifelong widowhood, never to remarry because of the scarcity of
men? Is remarriage not possible where there are so many more women than men? What
kind of life in those countries is a widow or a single mother doomed to when they are not
able to remarry? I believe this document has some radical but realistic solutions for such
people, especially if they are of the Judeo-Christian persuasion.
Our relationships with our mates and our children are second in importance and emotional
intensity only to our relationship with Jesus. In San Diego's Union-Tribune several
months ('95) ago they reported on a study of the effects of divorce that involved
thousands and lasted over 20 years. The social scientists screened the participants so that
they had two groups that basically differed as follows, one whose parents had divorced or
separated and the other group whose parents did not divorce or separate. They found that
the average life expectancy was five years longer for the group whose parents did not
divorce. Divorce made a five year difference in the life expectancy of the two groups.
Dr. Griffith Banning conducted a study of 800 Canadian children.It was reported that
their parents' divorce, death or separation, resulting in the children's felt lack of love and
affection, did greater damage to their growth and development than disease and all other
factors combined.>a
[>a Love, by Leo Buscaglia, Fawcett Crest, NY,1972,p.78
What we do with our marital relationships has a profound effect not only on us, but on
our children, for a lifetime. We already know that a divorce, statistically, usually results in
serious health problems ranging from ulcers and cardiovascular problems to hormonal and
emotional problems. Divorce can devastate us and our loved ones. How can we afford to
let our marriages, which Jesus intended to arenas filled with love and testimonies of His
life changing all-sufficiency, become instead arenas of suffering, bitterness and hatred ---
trophies for the enemy of our souls?
Yet look at the relationship most of us have with our loved ones and our God. Most of us
live our lives devoid of the life changing power and compassionate cherishing of our living
and reigning God. Most of us are falling short of compassionately cherishing our mates
and children. We wonder why we dont see the power of God in our lives. Yet how can
Jesus bless us miraculously and and powerfully intervene in our lives when we have let
ourselves become so entangled in the cares and affairs of our daily lives that the Spirit in
us is chocked and rendered fruitless. It is not just a matter of seeking first the Kingdom of
God and His righteousness, which most of us fall short of by letting TV or other personal
pleasures rob us of the time we could spend with Jesus. It goes even beyond that.
For many of us the question is , Why is our relationship with our living and powerful
God so lifeless and embarrassingly weak? Why is there such a great discrepancy between
the the life changing power of God we believe in, and the disastisfying mediocrity and
ineffectiveness of most of our lives? We know that if we walk in His will and do those
things that are pleasing in His sight, He hears our prayers and supernaturally intervenes in
our lives (1Jn3:21-24; 5:14,15), so when we fail to walk in His will and fail to do those
things that are pleasing to Him we should not be surprised at the spiritually impotent
lives and testimonies we have. What a tragedy to lose the battle for the souls of our
children and loved ones because we stuck with bad or foolish choices.
Specifically with this study I try to discover and share what I understand to be His will
for us maritally. I try to show that an adulterous marriage, an adulterous remarriage, and
or an adulterous divorce can gut our walk in the power of our God, leaving us with an
impotent and sterile life and testimony that is bad enough in and of itself; but when you add
the chastening of our God to an
impotent and sterile life, it can be enough to break your heart and spirit. But isnt that
why He sends the chastening of weakness and sickness (1 Cor. 11) or the chastening of
poverty, strife, diseases and animal attacks (Ezek 14) ---- to break our stiff necks and
hard hearts so He, as the potter, can remake us in our confession and repentance? Are you
experiencing this chastening? Do you think it might be due to an ungodly divorce or
marriage? Do you wonder what you should do about it? Please read this study.
This study is written as a wake up call to Christians who have fallen into marriages,
divorces and remarriages that are contrary to the will of God and now want to know what
they should do. A child of God wants to do the will of God (1Jn2:3,4,5).We know that
our God has told us in 1 Pet. 3 that if we fail to live wisely with our wives, our prayers
will be hindered. He has told us that in Isaiah 59:1,2 that he wont hear our prayers if we
fall into disobedience and fail to be Ambassadors of His Love. This study is for the
person who is not sure about the will of God facing a divorce, marriage or remarriage. This
study is for the divorced, the married and the remarried who find themselves in a situation
that neither affords them the peace nor the joy of the God who longs to fill their lives
with both. Hopefully this study will be used of God to shed some light on those
heartbreaking and unfulfilling situations. Please hear the Word in this study, and be brave
in the Lord to do His will, no matter what the cost.
Dear reader, I exhort you to test, try, prove, examine, scrutinize and check against the
Word every idea or concept in this document that seems questionable, doubtful or radical.
Stay with what you understand the Word to say. What you will read is where I have
arrived in the quest for His will. It is very controversial and I believe it is controversial
because I came to this quest as a scholar, an anthro-pologist and a child of God who
earnestly wants to know his Father's will. So "Here I stand!" ---- until further
enlightenment from the Father.
This study is based on the understanding of the Word of God that a godly marriage of
two godly people is for life, and that they are bound by God to each other maritally until
death dissolves the marriage. It is an attempt to catch the mind of the God who hates
divorce and who hates the breaking of wedding covenants. It is an attempt to understand
the marital will of the God who doesnt want us to be foolish vow breaking fools in whom
he has no pleasure. This document is written from a "Christian", fundamental, evangelical,
dispensationalist, etc. point of view for those who understand that point of view. The
followers, or disciples, of Jesus Christ are called "Christians", and for them loving
obedience to their Lord and King is the paramount issue in all matters of human life.
What does "Christian" mean? Who is the God of one who is called a "Christian"? Jesus is
God revealed in the flesh-blood-bone body, God's only incarnate Son, physically begotten
of the virgin Mary, God's Mediator of the New Covenant, Savior and Redeemer of all
who obediently believe, King of Kings, Lord of all soon to return visibly, Creator of all
things that have ever existed (including Michael, Lucifer, Satan, Gabriel), and Judge of all
humans soon to return visibly in His resurrected flesh and bone body. What is a
"Christian"? Without controversy the Word is clear that we are saved and born again
Spiritually as a result of the following:
(1) His unearned compassion He had for us even before we know Him, which compassion
moved Him to give His only begotten Son to bear our sins and die in our place.
(2) His enlightening us about who He is, convincing us of our sins and His righteous
judgment of sin, and constraining us to accept Him while we are still spiritually dead in
our sins. [John 1:9,12; 16:7-11]
(3) His giving us the gift of belief/faith in God (revealed as Jesus Christ, His miraculous
birth, His holy life, His undeserved and substitutionary death, and His resurrection
demonstrating His victory over death and sin) in spite of our spiritual blindness and death
[James 1:17]
(4) Our willingness >1 to accept and use His gift of belief is met with His enabling >2 us
to have and exercise genuine faith in Him as our King, God and Savior in every area of our
life. [>1 2 Corinth. 8.; >2 Phil. 2:13; 4:13.]
(5) Since all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags there is no work or deed that we can do
to earn Gods salvation. Our part is to genuinely believe in, accept and submit to His
gracious gift in Jesus Christ.
Okay, so that is what a Christian is . Whats next? I believe that it is obvious that a
Christian should not lean to his own understanding>3 and should not just do that which
seems right to himself>4. I believe that those who are born of God are led by the Spirit of
God Spiritually>5 and by the Word>6 I believe that the believer must acknowledge
Christ's Lordship in every area of his/her life for Christ to be the real and actual
LORD/KING of that believer>7. I agree with the Bible that a Christian's obedience is his
birthmark, the vital and critical proof of having been truly born again of God>8 . Besides
all of that, Jesus said that if I loved Him, I would obey Him, showing my love by my
obedience>9 so of course I want to show my love for Him and show proof of my rebirth
in Him by obeying Him.
[Footnotes:>3 Prov. 3:5,6; >4 Prov. 16:24; >5 Romans 8:13,14.; >6 Psalm
119:9,11,24,32,72,89, 93,101, 104,105 ,166,167; >7 Prov. 3:5,6; Romans 12:1,2; 1 Cor.
6:19, 20 etc; >8 (1John 2:3,4,5; 3:10, 24; 5:2,3; Hebrews 5:8,9); >9 (John 14:15,21).]
Yes, I realize that obeying Him is not necessarily obeying Christian leaders and teachers
because if they teach the traditions and commandments of men>10 instead of or along
with the commandments and traditions of God, they make the Way of God null, void and
ineffective. Yes, I know that God can use godly men and Christian leaders/teachers to
show us His Way>11 but surely it is our responsibility to be like the Bereans>12,
testing-trying-examining-scrutinizing>13 all of their teachings and leadership to see if it
conforms to the Word of God, holding fast to what we find to be true/good. We need to
diligently search the Word to find the will of God, especially in the matter of
controversial and questionable things.
[Footnotes:>10 (Matthew 15:1-9; Mark 7:1-15); >11 (Hebrews 13:7; >12 of Acts
17:11.31; >13 1 John4:1-4 and 1 Thess. 5:21.]
III. DIVORCE DEFINED. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Let me try to clarify the word "divorce" at this point since it has so many definitions in
our current culture. The Greek word apoluo >1 used by Jesus in Mark 10:11 & 12 means
TO SEND OR PUT AWAY, DISMISS (FROM ONE'S PRESENCE), RELEASE AND
REPUDIATE. It could be done informally or formally and legally as divorce.
[Footnote: .>III.1 See also Matt. 1:19; 5:31; 19:3,7-9.]
The Greek word choridzo >2 , used in Mark 10:9 of the saved couple and in 1 Cor. 7:10
&11 of the saved wife , and in v. 15 of the unsaved mate, means TO SEPARATE
ONESELF FROM ANOTHER, BE SEPARATED; LEAVE, PART OR DEPART
FROM, PUT ASUNDER AND DIVIDE. It could be done informally or formally as a
divorce. God allows the Christian wife to choridzo her husband as second best but still
affirms that she is bound maritally to her husband as in v. 39.
[III. footnotes: >III.2. See also active: Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9; Rom. 8;35,39;---passive: 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15;Acts 1:4; 18:2]
The Greek word afeeaymee >141, used of the man in l Cor. 7:11 and 12 and of the woman in v. 13, means TO SEND AWAY, ASK TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE, TO RELEASE,
AND TO LEAVE. This can be done informally or as a formal divorce. So the word
divorce can mean many different things depending on one's culture, society, motivation, intent and purposes. But the bottom line is that the husband is commanded not to send his wife away, nor to ask his wife to leave, nor release her nor leave her. Even if she asks or commands him to leave, He is under the Lord's command not to leave. Even if she gets a court order, he is under God's order not to leave her voluntarily. If the marshals/officials remove him and his belongings, then he didn't leave voluntarily. He was removed, but he did not relase or leave her. Separate rooms, sleeping separately or etc. is not leaving or releasing her as long as he is obeying 1 Cor. 7:1-5 with her.l [Footnote: .^141 See also Mat. 13:36;; Mark 4:36.]
In summary we see the following:
(1) the Christian husband must not divorce/send away/release [See apoluo or afeeaymee
above] his Christian wife to whom he is bound as long as they both live. 1 Cor. 5:10,11
and 2 Thess. 3:6 & 14 may require a separation that doesn't involve sending her away,
asking her to go away or leave, releasing her from their marriage bond, or leaving her ----
but they are still bound for life. I experienced such a separation without leaving with the
mother of my children. The last two years we were together we slept inthe same king size
bed but she never let me touch her, kiss her, hold her or make love with her. Now that is
separation without leaving. But for the male under 1 Cor. 5:ll and 2 Thess. 3:6,14
commands to "stand apart" from his sining wife would still be bound by the commands in
1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5 which could require him to be maritally intimate with her, so the
"separation" would have to be in other areas ---- always in the Spirit of 2 Tim. 2:24-26;
Galat. 6:1,2,3; and Luke 6 ---- like not eating together, not hanging out together, not
dating, not socializing together , not spending your leisure time together or etc.
(2) the saved husband must not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See afeeaymee
above] his unsaved wife as long as she agrees or consents or is willing to dwell/live /house
with him.
(3) the Christian wife must not divorce/send away/dismiss/repudiate[See apoluo above]
and should not (but may) divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [See choridzo above] her
Christian husband. The saved wife must not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See
afeeaymee above] her unsaved husband as long as he agrees or consents or is willing to
dwell/live/house with her. Because of the definition and 1 Cor. 7:11 some believe that the
saved wife also can divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [choridzo] her unsaved husband
in faithful separation, but still not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [afeeaymee] him,
in the event of spousal abuse, fornication or etc. These actions find many different legal
and informal forms and expressions in many different cultures and subcultures. So when
you see the word divorce in your Bible, it at least means send away, release, "leave" or be
separated, put asunder, divide informally or formally.
If Mark 10:8-12; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39 and Romans 7:1-3 are taken quite literally, a
genuinely saved Elias who legally married (with no vow of exclusivity such as forsaking
all others & keeping yourselves only to each other until death do you part) and was
legally divorced by several genuinely saved Jane Does who just wanted to live as singles
again>142 would have to deal with the question, "Are they still my wives in God's
eyes?". They all divorced him exercising their scriptural option and whatever he felt or
wanted would be irrelevant in terms of 1 Cor. 7:11,39. What if these genuinely saved but
carnal Jane Does became engaged to others and maritally vowed to forsake all others
including their Elias and to keep themselves only to their new mates until death part
them? It would be adultery and their vows would be the sin because those vows would be
invalidated by God's statement in Mark 10:8-12 and 1 Corinth. 7 :11,39 that they are
bound to Elias as long as they both live.
[Footnote: >142 (1 Cor. 7:11) ]
III. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES .
St. Augustine (4th Cent AD) had a powerful way of stating the permanent nature of the
marriage of two who married after being born again, lovingly obedient to Jesus and fruitful
in the Spirit---
"To such a degree is that marriage compact entered upon a matter of a certain sacrament,
that it is not made void even by separation itself, since, so long as her husband lives, even
by whom she hath been left, she commits adultery, in case she be married to another: and
he who hath left her, is the cause of this evil. . . Seeing that the compact of marriage is not
done away by divorce intervening; so that they continue wedded persons one to another,
even after separation; and commit adultery with those, with whom they shall be joined,
even after their own divorce, either the woman with a man, or the man with a woman. . .
But a marriage once for all entered upon in the City of our god>14, where, even from the
first union of the two, the man and the woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental
character, can no way be dissolved but by the death of one of them. . . Therefore the good
of marriage throughout all nations and all men stands in the occasion of begetting, and
faith of chastity: but, so far as pertains unto the People of God, also in the sanctity of the
sacrament, by reason of which it is unlawful for one who leaves her husband, even when
she has been put away, to be married to another, so long as her husband lives, no not even
for the sake of bearing children: . . . not even where that very thing, wherefore it takes
place, follows not, is the marriage bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or
wife.">15
[Footnotes:>14 This footnote mark etc. is not St. Augustine's or Arthur Haddan's. I insert
it just in case the reader is not aware of the fact that all marriages between real saints take
place "in the City of our god" not according to St. Augustine, but according the the Holy
Spirit in Hebrews 11:10,13-19, where they are already seated with Christ in the
Heavenlies according to Eph. 1 & 2. >15 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; pp. 402, 406,
412.]
The King's Word is "Mt. 19:5 and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall be one’?> 6 Thus they are no longer two, but ‘one’! What therefore God has joined together, humans should not separate.” Separate? What does He mean? Strong's shows us that He means humans should not separate, divide, part, put asunder, separate or depart from the one to whom they are united.
Paul, emissary of the King, continues with the Word from the King
to His followers: "1 Cor 7: 10* ¶ And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, the wife should not depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, she should remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and the husband should not put away his wife. . . . 39* ¶ The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."
What part do we not understand of "humans should not separate . . . the husband should not put away his wife. . . . The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth"?
The particular case in point is the situation caused by the plague that divorce is among
Christians. If many of the Corinthian Christians were weak, sick and asleep in death because they shamed the poor and didn't share with the poor generously (1Cor 11:17-34), I am quite sure that there are many American Christians who are weak, sick and asleep in death because they are/were living in adultery, the adultery of legally being married to someone other than the one to whom God joined them.
***Mat 19: 6 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
I understand the following scriptures to indicate that genuine believers in the
Lord Jesus Christ who were free to marry each other in the Lord and did marry each other
are bound maritally to each other as long as both live ----
***1 CORINTH. 7:10* And to the married I command (not I, but the Lord), a woman not to
be separated from [her] husband. 11* But if she is indeed separated, let her remain
unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband. And a husband is not to leave [his] wife. 12
But to the rest I speak, not the Lord, If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and
she is pleased to dwell with him, do not let him put her away. 13 And the woman who
has a husband who does not believe, if he is pleased to dwell with her, do not let her leave
him. . . .15 But if the unbelieving one separates, let [them] be separated. A brother or a
sister is not in bondage in such [cases], but God has called us in peace. 39* The wife is
bound by the law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty
to be remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord.
*** ROMANS 7: 2* A wife, for instance, whose husband is living is bound to him by the Law; but if her husband dies the law that bound her to him has now no hold over her. 3 This accounts for the fact that if during her husband’s life she lives with another man, she will be stigmatized as an adulteress; but that if her husband is dead she is no longer under the old prohibition, and even though she marries again, she is not an adulteress. WEY
*** MARK 10: 6 but from the beginning of the creation the rule was, <‘Male and female did God make them. 7 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cling to his wife, 8 and the two shall be one’;> so that they are two no longer, but <‘one.’> 9 What, therefore, God has joined together let not man separate.” . . . 11* He replied, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman, commits adultery against the first wife; 12* and if a woman puts away her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” WEY
MARRIED TIL DEATH
I believe they state that a Spiritually reborn man and a Spiritually reborn woman who are
free to marry each other in the Lord and do marry each other are bound to each other by
the Word of the Lord as long as both their bodies are alive. What is the case in the Bible?
***Gen. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his
wife, and they shall be one flesh.>20. There are three acts described here:
[Footnote>.(20. The Holy Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text]
(1) From the following it is clear that it means leaving the parents' presence, authority and
control;
***PSALM 45:10 ¶ Hearken, daughter, and see, and incline thine ear; and forget thine own people and thy father’s house: 11 And the king will desire thy beauty; for he is thy Lord, and worship thou him. . . . 13 All glorious is the king’s daughter within; her clothing is of wrought gold: 14 She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of embroidery; the virgins behind her, her companions, shall be brought in unto thee: 15 With joy and gladness shall they be brought; they shall enter into the king’s palace. 16 Instead of thy fathers shall be thy sons; princes shalt thou make them in all the earth. 17 I will make thy name to be remembered throughout all generations; therefore shall the peoples praise thee for ever and ever.
(2) Cleaving is the act of the will making marital covenants and vows that bind them
maritally before God>21.
***Gen. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his
wife, and they shall be one flesh.>20
[Footnote:>21 Ezekisl 16:7,8; Malachi 2; Matt. 1:18-25 where Mary and Joseph are
declared to be husband and wife even before the actual wedding and cohabitation.
"Cleave" in the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast together),
follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick,
take." (Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance.) J. Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon says it
means "to glue upon, glue to" ]
(3) Becoming one flesh is the sexual act of coitis or sexual penetration and one can become
one flesh with one's wife or with an adulteress or with a harlot>22. Becoming one flesh is
not what makes a relationship a marriage. For the permanence of the relationship of
marriage the focus is on the word "cleave" which in the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . .
. abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep
(fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.">23. Thayer says it means "to glue upon, glue
to">24. If God commands the husband to conduct himself as if he were being joined
together with her, clinging, adhering, cleaving and glued to her in this manner towards his
wife, then he had better do it if he wants a good future with God, because to disobey
would be death>25 . Being under this command would certainly bind a man to his wife as
long as both lived.
[Footnotes:>22 1 Cor. 6:13-20; MAT 19:1-15; >23. Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance; >24. Greek
English Lexicon of the New Testament; Joseph Henry Thayer, D.D.; American Book Co.,
New York, 1889;
>25 Rom. 6:23; 1:31,32; Malachi 2:14-17.]
The Jewish Septuagint (third century B.C.) for Gen. 2:24 uses the same word for "cleave"
that Jesus uses in Matt. 19:5. The word used for cleave in the LXX's Gen. 2:24 and Jesus'
Matt. 19:5 means the following: 1. According to Thayer --- "to join one's self to closely,
cleave to, stick to"; and 2. According to Arndt & Gingrich ---"adhere closely to, be
faithfully devoted to, join tini someone". The Greek tense in both is future indicative
passive which means that this is what they shall have themselves doing in the future on a
regular basis. Some say that it is not a command. Jesus seems to differ with them both in
Malachi 2, where He says the husband who breaks his marital agreement with his wife is
under His wrath, and in Matt 19:6 where Jesus says "So then, they are no longer two but
one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate." It is the
marital commitments and covenants between the husband and wife that is the glue that
binds them, and it is the solemn and disciplined honoring of those commitments that
reinforces and maintins that glued bond that binds them.
Every legal>26 and moral>27 marriage of two who are morally free in Christ to marry is
ordained or allowed by God and takes place under His control>b, so indeed God has
joined them, based on the truth of the following:
[Footnote: >26 Legal= recognized and accepted as legal by one's culture and law enforcers
Rom. 13; 1 Pet. 2:13-17; >27 moral= free from all others maritally and free in the Lord's
kingdom to marry according to His Word. >b Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28]
***Romans 8: 27 Yet he who searches all our hearts knows what the Spirit’s meaning is, because the pleadings of the Spirit for Christ’s People are in accordance with his will. 28 But we do know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him-those who have received the Call in accordance with his purpose.TCNT
*** ROMANS 13: 1 ¶ Let every one obey the supreme Authorities. For no Authority exists except by the will of God, and the existing Authorities have been appointed by God. 2* Therefore he who sets himself against the authorities is resisting God’s appointment, and those who resist will bring a judgement upon themselves.TCNT .
***Ephes. 1: 10 In view of that Divine Order which was to mark the completion of the ages, when he should make everything, both in Heaven and on earth, center in him. 11* In him, I say, for by our union with him we became God’s Heritage, having from the first been destined for this in the intention of him who, in all that happens, is carrying out his own fixed purpose; 12 That we should enhance his glory--we who have been the first to rest our hopes on the Christ. TCNT
The marriage/covenanting of two free to marry in Christ is an event that has been worked together for their good, exists by the appointment and authority of God, is a part of His carrying out and fulfilling His own fixed purpose. That's why we can trust God that we are to remain married to the person we are married to when we are saved. He gave Adam his Eve, and if you are His child, He worked in you to want to marry your mate>c, He lead you to marry your mate>d, and He worked all
things so that you did marry you mate>e. So you can understand why 1 Cor. 7 speaks of
the binding nature of marriage.
[>c Phil. 2:12,13; Heb.13:20,21. >d Romans 8:9,14; Acts 16:6,7; Isa. 30:21. >e Eph. 1:11;
Rom. 8:28; Mt. 10:29; Prov. 16:1,9; Isa. 46:9-13; Neh. 9:6]
***1 CORINTHIANS 7:17* ¶ In any case, a man should continue to live in the condition which the Lord has allotted to him, and in which he was when God called him. This is the rule that I lay down in every Church. . . . 20 Let every one remain in that condition of life in which he was when the Call came to him. . . . 24 Brothers, let every one remain in the condition in which he was when he was called, in close communion with God.TCNT
When I have approached Christian leaders here in my area, most of them fall back on a
rationalization of scripture to defend or at least conform to the worldly norms of
separation/divorce/ remarriage in contemporary society. So they accept divorces, where
those put together by God are put apart by man, and remarry "believers" who have been
divorced or separated from "believers". They are sincerely and earnestly concerned about
stumbling the weak and are reluctant to ask of the saints what seems to the world's eyes
to be impossible for many saints, to accept the Word that genuine believers are bound
maritally as long as both live.
So we see that most "Christian pastors" in America today allow and accomodate the separation/divorce of two genuine believers, even though God says "What therefore God has joined together, humans should not separate.” We see that most "Christian pastors" in America today allow and accomodate the believing wife when she separates herself from her believing husband and marries another, even though the Word of God is "the wife should not depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, she should remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: . . . A woman is bound to her husband during the whole period that he lives; . . ." We see that most "Christian pastors" in America today allow and accomodate the believing husband when he puts his believing wife away from him by divorce, declaring that he is no longer maritally bound to her, even though the Word of God says "the husband should not put away his wife. ." What part do we, who are believers in Jesus, not understand of "humans should not separate . . . the husband should not put away his wife. . . . The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth"?
Some of America's present "Christian pastors" teach the false doctrine that when a believer's believing mate commits sex sin, that sin kills/ends the marriage, saying that since death was the penalty for adultery in the Sinai Law (Deut 22), so since they have come under the death sentence they are as good as dead and the wronged m ate is free of them. THERE IS NOT ONE SCRIPTURE IN THE WHOLE BIBLE THAT TEACHES THIS. All sin has the death penalty on it (Rom 1:17-32; 6:23).
***Rom 1:30* They were secret backbiters, open slanderers; hateful to God, insolent, haughty, boastful; inventors of new forms of sin, disobedient to parents, destitute of common sense, 31* faithless to their promises, without natural affection, without human pity. 32* In short, though knowing full well the sentence which God pronounces against actions such as theirs, that they who do such things ARE WORTHY OF DEATH, they not only practise them, but even encourage and applaud others who do them.
I hope you understand the Scriptures well enough to know that people like this and people who do such things are not to be considered dead and their marital partners freed of them. All unbelievers are "dead in trespasses and sins"
(Eph 2:1), yet a believer married to an unbeliever is commanded not to leave that unbeliever until the unbeliever no longer wants to live with the believer (1Cor 7:12,13), and the believer remains maritally bound to the unbeliever until the unbeliever separates him/herself from the believer (1Cor7:15). Those unbelievers are really dead in trespasses and sins, but the believers are under God's command to recognize their marital ties to the unbelievers according to those Scriptures. So there is no way that a believer who has a mate who falls into sex sin is maritally free by "spiritual death" from such a fallen but believing mate. THERE IS NOT ONCE SCRIPTURE THAT SAYS ADULTERY ENDS AND DISSOLVES THE TRUTH THAT TWO BELIEVERS MARRIED IN JESUS TO EACH OTHER
ARE MARITALLY BOUND TO EACH OTHER UNTIL DEATH PARTS THEM.
Jesus makes binding>28 the cleaving >29 and the one flesh experience that we know as
marriage. Since the only terms of divorce are given in Deut 24:1-4 (which were superseded
by Matt. 19:1-15 and 1 Cor. 7:10-15,39), it is clear that marriage is a life long relationship
based on the covenants of the couple and on God's command not to be put asunder or put
asunder the relationship. Rather than abide by this believers-married-for-life principle,
most Christian churches/ pastors today are telling their divorced and divorcing
communicants that they should forget the things that have happened in the past trusting
God's forgiveness to cover it all and press on into the future with their new mates and
lives.
[Footnotes:>28 (Mt. 19:6); >29 (Mt. 19:5) ]
They say it would do more harm than good to tell Christian mates that they need to leave
their new mates, married in adultery, and new kids and go back to the Christian mates
they divorced contrary to the Word>f. I believe that we are to live by every Word of
God, and not by unscriptural traditions of men that put asunder what God said must not
be put asunder, that tell couples they are loosed from each other when God says they are
bound for life>30 . How dare we say "You are loosed" when God Himself says she is
"bound as long as her husband lives"?
[Footnotes:>f in 1 Corinth. 7; Romans 7 and Mark 10 >30 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1
Cor. 7:10,11,39)]
What are the responsibilities of still being bound to someone when you have loosed
yourself according to human law but remain bound according to the Law of Christ?
Wouldn't they be responsible for parenting both their children by the mates to whom
they are bound by the Lord, as well as their children by their adulterous>31 new marriage.
Wouldn't they be responsible for keeping whatever promises they made and can keep in
the Lord--that they made to their mates in the Lord and to their mates in adultery>32 ?
They can't keep their adulterous promises of marital intimacy with their adulterous
mates, but they can keep the promise to Agapé Love them, cherish them, honor and
respect them, pray and fast earnestly and fervently for them, and clothe and feed them if
they are destitute and in need. Jesus instructs us to do these things even to our
enemies>g. There is no question that they are responsible for the parenting, provision and
care of any children by their adultery, as God and man's law allow(Eph. 6; 1 Tim. 5:8;
Heb. 12; 1Jn.3:16,17).
[Footnotes:>31. Mark 10:11,12; >32 (Psalm 15:4; Ezek. 17:15;Eccles.5:1-7) >g Luke 6;
Mt 5; Isa. 59; 1 tim. 2; James 2; 1 Peter 2,3,4]
I submit that the commandment of God in Romans 7:1-3 and the following passage below
(binding the saved husband to his saved wife until death separates them) is laid aside to
hold mans tradition, making of no effect the Word of God.:
**** MARK 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and
female. 7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his
wife. 8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one
flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart. . . . 11 And He
said to them, Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another commits adultery
against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband and marries to another, she
commits adultery.
**** 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 The wife does not have authority over [her] own body, but the
husband. And likewise also the husband does not have power [over his] own body, but
the wife. 5 Do not deprive one another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that you
may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And come together again so that Satan does
not tempt you for your incontinence. . . . 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself
am. But each has his proper gift from God, one according to this manner and another
according to that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and the widows, It is good for them if
they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is
better to marry than to burn. 10* And to the married I command (not I, but the Lord), a
woman not to be separated from [her] husband. 11* But if she is indeed separated, let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband. And a husband is not to leave [his]
wife. . . . 39* The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives, but if her
husband is dead, she is at liberty to be remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord.
I submit that those passages mean exactly what they say, that the obediently believing
wife is bound by law as long as her obediently believing husband lives. No qualifiers! No
exemptions! Instead many Christian leaders tell the saved divorced that if they just
confess the sin of the divorce to God, God will forgive them and they are no longer bound
to their departed saved mate so they can go on and remarry someone new. So they set
aside Gods command to keep their own tradition. Can God bless and anoint with His
miraculous power a person, a couple or a church sets aside His will and Word so they can
keep their own tradition (Mk 7)? Not the Jesus I know.
I submit that those passages mean exactly what they say, that the obediently believing
wife is bound by law as long as her obediently believing husband lives. No qualifiers! No
exemptions! Instead many Christian leaders tell the saved divorced that if they just
confess the sin of the divorce to God, God will forgive them and they are no longer bound
to their departed saved mate so they can go on and remarry someone new. So they set
aside Gods command to keep their own tradition. Can God bless and anoint with His
miraculous power a person, a couple or a church sets aside His will and Word so they can
keep their own tradition (Mk 7)? Not the Jesus I know.
What does it really mean to 1Jn.1:9 confess our sins so that He will forgive us?
***1 Jn 1:9 If we keep on admiting (homologeo) our sins, [continuing to agree (homologeo) with Jesus about our sins,] He is faithful and just to forgives us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness/wickedness.
***Prv 28:13 ¶ He who keeps his sins secret will not do well; but one who agrees with [God about them], and forsakes them, will get mercy.
Confession of sin for forgiveness means agreeing with God about our sins, their sinfulness and the death penalty they deserve, coupled with the forsaking of the sin confessed. It also includes the godly sorrow of 2 Cor 7 and the repentance of Prov 28:13. What does that mean in these circumstances?
***Mark 10:11* And he says to them, Whosoever shall put away his wife and shall marry another, commits adultery against her.
***Mt19:9* And I tell you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except her unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”
The believing adulterer must come to agree with God that his sin was putting away his believing wife AND marrying another. He has violated the commands:
***1 Cor 7:11. . . . a husband should not leave a wife."
***Mk 10: 9 What therefore God has joined together, humans should not separate.
He must agree with God that he sinned by leaving his wife, by separating himself from his wife, by divorcing his wife. The sin that he must forsake is the sin of leaving his wife, of separating himself from his wife, of divorcing his wife. His repentance in godly sorrow is
doing everything he can to clear h imself of the sin (2Cor7) by joining himself to his wife, by reuniting with his wife, and by acknowledging that he is maritally bound to her til death part them because they are both forever people in Jesus. The case of believers married to unbelievers is different according to 1 Cor 7:12-15.
What about Deut 24? There is no command to divorce here, only the description of a procedure. Yes Jesus allowed the Jews under Moses to divorce their mates (Dt. 24& Mt. 19) but it was for the hardness of their hearts and you can be sure that a just and holy God chastened the hard of heart. If I were an insurer, I sure wouldn't want to sell them any life insurance given what God did to those who act with hardened hearts (1Cor.10).
***Dt.24:1 ¶ "When a man taketh a wife, and marrieth her, it shall be if she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some unseemly [6172 `ervah {er-vaw'}; n f] thing in her, that HE SHALL WRITE HER A LETTER OF DIVORCE, and give it into her hand, and send her out of his house."
6172 `ervah stands for the genitals or human excrement, according to how the Holy Spirit used the word in Ge 9:22, 23; Ex 20:26; 28:42; Le 18:6-19; 20:11,17-21. So what is Deut 24 about?
In Deut 22:13-21 the husband went in to his wife and found no evidence of virginity, instead finding evidence of a lack of virginity, and publicly charged "her with things for scandalous talk," and caused "an evil name against her to be spread abroad," and said, "This woman have I taken, and I came in unto her, and I did not find her a virgin; . . ." If that was proven, she was to be executed. Deut 24 is different from Deut 22 in that the husband DOES NOT publicly charge "her with things for scandalous talk," and cause "an evil name against her to be spread abroad," and say, "This woman have I taken, and I came in unto her, and I did not find her a virgin; . . ." Instead, like Joseph in Mat 1,
>>>>>>>"19 But Joseph her husband, being a kind-hearted man and unwilling publicly to disgrace her, had determined to release her privately from the betrothal." <<<<<<<<
the man of Dt 24 privately and discretely writes her a letter of divorce, gives it into her hand, and sends her away out of his house. She may have lied to him about the fact she was a widow (Dt 25), or that she was raped by a soldier/agent of the occupying forces while betrothed to him and was afraid to tell him (Dt 22:25-27), or like Joseph he loved her so much he couldn't bring himself to shame her publicly, but didn't love her enough to accept her in her failed or damaged state. And so he divorces her with a hardened but discrete heart because she lacks virgin genitals.
In Matt. 5 & 19 Jesus made it plain divorce was permitted for the hardness of human hearts
and Malachi 2 makes it plain that God hates the treacherous breaking of marital covenants
that results in divorce. In Matt. 5 Jesus permits the husband to divorce his wife is she is
guilty of fornication, but does not command it. There is no command to divorce one's
mate for fornication, not even in Dt 24 for those under the Law, but after Acts 1 there is the
command to separate (not divorce) yourself from a saved mate who is snared in sexual sin in order to bring that mate to repentance and reconciliation>16. Before Acts 1 Jesus, who hates divorce, allowed divorce for the hardness of hearts >17.
[Footnotes:>16. 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 2 Thes. 3:6-14; 1 Tim. 6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; >17. Mat. 19:6-9]
The compassionate heart of the Spirit filled Christian would respond to a mate's fornication according to the Word>18. . The goal of such compassion for one's mate snared in sexual sin would be the Church discipline prescribed in 1 Cor. 5:3-11 and 2 Thess 3:6-14 with the goal of bringing the erring one into godly sorrow, described in the following: 2 Cor. 7 and 1 Corinthians 5:5 . . . "deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction [ruin , damage] of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." The Saviour's goal for the erring one is salvation, not destruction. So what does a disciple of Christ do if he/she discovers that his/her mate is involved in sex sin? Consider the following:
[Footnotes:>>18. 1 Corinth. 5:5-11; Matthew 18:15-18; Gal. 6:1; John 8: 1-10; 1 Tim. 5:20,21; 2 Th. 3:6-14]
**** 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 5 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a
one; 7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps
such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to
confirm [your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I also wrote, that I might know the
proof of you, whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But to whom you forgive
anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him in
the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not
ignorant of his devices.
**** 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret; if
indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I rejoice, not
that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you were grieved according
to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us. 10 For the grief according to God
works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out
death. 11 For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it
worked out earnestness in you; but [also] defense; but [also] indignation; but [also] fear;
but [also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance! In everything you approved
yourselves to be clear in the matter. 12 Then, though I wrote to you, [it was] not on
account of the one who did wrong, nor on account of the one who suffered wrong, but for
the sake of revealing our earnestness on your behalf, for you before God.
Even though Jesus apparently allows a genuinely believing husband to divorce his wife
snared in adultery and then go ahead and remarry, I wouldn't want to stand before the
judgment seat of Christ, who hates divorce, and tell the God of Love I divorced my wife
for fornication because of the hardness of my heart and my failure to do 2 Tim 2:22-26;
Gal 6:1; Matt. 18:15-18; 1 Cor 5; 2 Thess 3:6-14. The motivation of a hardened heart
doesn't square with Eph. 4 or I Cor. 13 or Romans 15.
Even though Jesus apparently allows a genuinely believing husband to divorce his wife
snared in adultery and then go ahead and remarry, I wouldn't want to stand before the
judgment seat of Christ, who hates divorce, and tell the God of Love I divorced my wife for fornication because of the hardness of my heart and my failure to do 2 Tim2:22-26;Gal 6:1; Matt. 18:15-18; 1 Cor 5; 2 Thess 3:6-14. The motivation of a hardened heart doesn't square with Eph. 4 or I Cor. 13 or Romans 15.
***WEY EPHES. 4: 15 But we shall lovingly hold to the truth, and shall in all respects grow up into union with Him who is our Head, even Christ. . . 25 For this reason, laying aside falsehood, every one of you should speak the truth to his fellow man; for we are, as it were, parts of one another. 26 If angry, beware of sinning. Let not your irritation last until the sun goes down; 27 and do not leave room for the Devil.. . . . 30 And beware of grieving the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you have been sealed in preparation for the day of Redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and all passionate feeling, all anger and loud insulting language, be unknown among you--and also every kind of malice. 32 On the contrary learn to be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you.
***1 CORINTH. 13: 4 Compassionate cherishing has patience, is kind; compassionate
cherishing is not envious, is not vain, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave indecently, does
not seek its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil. 6 Charity does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, 7 quietly covers all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Compassionate cherishing never fails.
***WEY ROMANS 15: 1* ¶ As for us who are strong, our duty is to bear with the weaknesses of those who are not strong, and not seek our own pleasure. 2 Let each of us endeavour to please his fellow Christian, aiming at a blessing calculated to build him up. 3 For even the Christ did not seek His own pleasure. His principle was, <“The reproaches which they addressed to Thee have fallen on me.”> 4 For all that was written of old has been written for our instruction, so that we may always have hope through the power of endurance and the encouragement which the Scriptures afford.
5 ¶ And may God, the giver of power of endurance and of that encouragement, grant you to be in full sympathy with one another in accordance with the example of Christ Jesus, 6 so that with oneness both of heart and voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7 ¶ Habitually therefore give one another a friendly reception, just as Christ also has received you, and thus promote the glory of God. 8 My meaning is that Christ has become a servant to the people of Israel in vindication of God’s truthfulness-- in showing how sure are the promises made to our forefathers--
Being forgiven by God for sins worthy of death (Rom. 1) how can we not forgive our
mate if he/she falls in adultery and then repents in godly sorrow? How can we say anything besides "Go on with your life and sin no more!">19 if the Godly repentance described in the following is evident? That's the example He left for us (1Pet.2:20,21). There is no greater Love than to lay down and deny your life/will for another's good.
[>19. John 8:1-10.]
***WEY2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8* For if I gave you pain by that letter, I do not regret it, though I did regret it then. I see that that letter, even though for a time it gave you pain, had a salutary effect. 9 Now I rejoice, not in your grief, but because the grief led to repentance; for you sorrowed with a godly sorrow, which prevented you from receiving injury from us in any respect. 10 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, a repentance not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world finally produces death. 11 For mark the effects of this very thing--your having sorrowed with a godly sorrow--what earnestness it has called forth in you, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing affection, what jealousy, what meting out of justice! You have completely wiped away reproach from yourselves in the matter.
What do you do about your spouse who is snared in
adultery, fornication, lesbianism, sodomy, bestiality, incest or etc.? Consider the
following:
**** JOHN 8: 4 they said to Him, Teacher, this woman was taken in adultery, in the
very act. 5 Now Moses in the law commanded us that such should be stoned. You, then, what do you say? . . . 7 But as they continued to ask Him, He lifted Himself up and said to them, He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her. . . .
9 And hearing, and being convicted by conscience, they went out one by one, beginning at the oldest, until the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10. . . Did not one give judgment against you? 11 And she said, No one, Lord. And Jesus said to her, Neither do I give judgment. Go, and sin no more.
**** 1 CORINTH. 5: 1 Everywhere [it is] reported [that there is] fornication among
you, and such fornication as is not named among the nations, so as one to have [his]
father's wife. . . . 3 For as being absent in body but present in spirit, I indeed have 15
already [as though I were] present [concerning] him who worked out this thing; 4 in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, with my spirit; also, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ; 5 to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. . . .
MATT. 5:32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the
cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery. 7 Therefore purge out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, as you are unleavened. . . . 11 But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother [and is] either a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat. 12 . . . Do you not judge those
who are inside? 13 . . . Therefore put out from you the evil one.
These show that such a separation can be an exercise in Church discipline, delivering the
Chr istian offender's body for the destruction of the flesh (chastening) to the end that the
erring saint should be effectively chastened and stop sinning and in godly sorrow repent
of the fornication. The sinning saint is chastened>34 into weakness, sickness or sleep
(death) by the Lord. If weakness or sickness results in godly sorrow and repentance, then
the repentant one is restored as in the following:
[Footnote: >34 (1 Cor. 5 &/or 11; Heb.12)
**** 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret; if
indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I rejoice, not
that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you were grieved according
to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us.
**** 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a
one; 7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps
such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to
confirm [your] love toward him. . . 10 But to whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive].
For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ; 11
so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his devices.
These show that such a separation can be an exercise in Church discipline, delivering the Chr istian offender's body for the destruction of the flesh (chastening) to the end that the erring saint should be effectively chastened and stop sinning and in godly sorrow repent of the fornication. The sinning saint is chastened>34 into weakness, sickness or sleep (death) by the Lord. If weakness or sickness results in godly sorrow and repentance, then the repentant one is restored as in the following:
[Footnote: >34 (1 Cor. 5 &/or 11; Heb.12)
**** 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret; if
indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I rejoice, not
that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you were grieved according
to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us.
**** 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a
one; 7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps
such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to
confirm [your] love toward him. . . 10 But to whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive].
For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ; 11
so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his devices.
They would both still be saved and both still be bound to each other maritaly no matter
who else they married or how many kids they might have had in the meantime. There is
nothing in scripture that would indicate the the marital bond between two genuine
Christians is broken by sexual immorality. If adultery required a marital-bond breaking
divorce/separation, then Matt 5:32 would read as follows:
>>But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality
causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced for any
other reason than sexual immorality commits adultery.<<
This would imply that it would NOT be adultery to marry a woman divorced/separated for sexual immorality. But what did Jesus say to genuine believers? He said "... whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."(Mt 5:32). He gives no qualifier or exception except for 1 Cor. 7:12-15 in the case of the believer divorced/ desserted by the unsaved mate. No matter what the reason for the divorce except 1 Cor. 7:15, including sexual immorality, "whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mk.10:12). It is adultery to marry a woman divorced
from her legitimate husband except in the case of 1 Cor. 7:15, in which case God has
loosed her from her husband. It is adultery to marry a genuinely believing woman
divorced from her genuinely believing man if they were free to marry in the Lord when
they married, because when they married they became maritally bound to each other until
death parts them (1Cor. 7:39)
What about if two believers were married and one of them fell into sex sin?
Mt 5:32 But *I* say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for cause of fornication, makes her commit adultery, and whosoever marries one that is put away commits adultery. . . . . 19:9* And I tell you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except her unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”
What should be done? What can be done?
He never commanded a genuine believer to divorce a genuine believer. It just is
not in the Word. He never commands His child to divorce His other child after He has put them together. But there is a commanded separation or standing back or break in
fellowship that is required by Jesus when one's mate is snared in the sins described below ---- not a divorce, but some form of separation. Consider the following about sinners (for those married to the unsaved) and about "saints" snared in sin:
***MATTHEW 5: 32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for
the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery.
***Romans 16: 17. . . mark them who cause divisions and causes of offense contrary to the doctrine which you have learned, and avoid them.
***1 Timothy 6:1-5 If any man. . . . consent not to . . . . the Words of our Lord Jesus . . . withdraw yourself from such.
***2 Timothy 3:1-5: For men shall be lovers of their own selves.........avoid such.
***1 CORINTH. 5: 9 I wrote to you in the letter not to associate intimately with fornicators;
10 yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or
extortioners, or with idolaters; for then you must go out of the world. 11 But now I have
written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother [and is] either a
fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with
such a one not to eat.
***2 THESSALONIANS 3:6 Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ, that you withdraw yourselves from every brother who walks disorderly,
and not after the teaching which he received from us. . . . 14 And if anyone does not obey
our word by this letter, mark that one and have no company with him, that he may be
ashamed. 15 Yet do not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
Yes there is an avoiding or withdrawing from such spouses but we will see below how 1
Cor. 7:10-15 and Mark 10 etc. exclude the option of marital separation or divorce except
under very specific conditions. He never said that they were no longer bound to each
other as Christian husband and Christian wife according to the scriptures>33 . You and I
know that a married couple can avoid or withdraw from each other in many ways without
getting a divorce. They withdraw emotionally or socially. A saint can't join the sinning
spouse in the sin, so right there is a withdrawal or avoidance.
[Footnote: >33 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15,39)]
What should be the spouse's attitude be when married to one to whom she/he is
commanded to be manifesting some form of avoidance or withdrawal? The key is in 2
Thess 3:15 above where we enjoined to "not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him
as a brother." or in 1 Pet. 3:1 where the wives are instructed to "be submissive to your
own husbands so that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without a word be won
by the behavior of the wives . . . . ". Consider the following:
Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother wrongs you, rebuke him; and if he
repent, forgive him.
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual restore such
a one in the Spirit of meekness . . .
John 13:10-15 . . . . you also ought to wash each other's feet, for I have given you an
example, that you should do as I have done to you.
Ephes. 4:15 . . . speaking the Truth in Love . . . .
Ephes 5:6-11 . . . because of these things comes the wrath of God upon the sons of
disobedience. Therefore don't be partakers with them. . . .And have no fellowship with
the unfruitful works of darkness but, rather, reprove [them].
1 Tim. 5:20,21 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others may fear. .
2 Tim. 2:24 And
the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all, able to teach, patient, in
meekness instructing those that oppose them . . . . .
1 Pet. 3:1 . . . be submissive to your own husbands so that, if any obey not the Word,
they also may without a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . .
What should be the spouse's attitude be when married to one to whom she/he is
commanded to be manifesting some form of avoidance or withdrawal? The key is in
2 Tim. 2:24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all, able to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose them . . . . .
1 Pet. 3:1 . . . be submissive to your own husbands so that, if any obey not the Word,
they also may without a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . .
According to 1 Cor. 5 it is a whole different ball game if the spouse is often doing,
practicing, regularly or habitually doing any of the following: adultery, fornication, sexual
perversion (sodomy, homosexuality, bestiality, incest), greediness or covetousness, the
worship of false gods, reviling (verbal abuse), drunkeness or intoxication, robbing,
swindling, and/or extorting. The saved spouse is under command NOT to associate, keep
company or be intimate with a spouse who does the above and is claiming to be genuinely
saved, a genuine believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a born again child of God. This may
take the form of the husband divorcing such a "believing" wife and remarrying (Matt:
19:9) or it may take the form of the wife chastely and maritally separating herself from
such a "believing" spouse (1 Cor. 7:10,11). The reason for this difference in options will
be discussed in the chapter dealing with adultery and its definition.
So then what is the meaning of the following passages?
***Mt 5:32 But *I* say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for cause of fornication, makes her commit adultery, and whosoever marries one that is put away commits adultery. . . . .
The fact that it is adultery to marry the wife put away for fornication (sex sin)
clearly indicates that she is still bound to him maritally, and he to her. So what is the purpose of his putting her away? The purpose of his putting her away is to obey the following Scriptures:
***1Cor 5:11* But what I meant was that you were not to associate with any one bearing the name of “brother,” if he does fornication . . . . With such a man you ought not even to eat.
***2Thes 3:14* But if any one obey not our word by the letter, mark that man, and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed of himself; 15 and do not esteem him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
The believing brother separates himself from his sinning wife because he is under command to not associate with her, not to eat with her, and not keep company with her, so that she may become ashamed of herself and repent of her sin in godly sorrow. He is still bound to her maritally, till death part them,
and 1 Tim 5 makes it clear that he is still responsible to provide what she needs to live. The purpose of the separation is ultimately to achieve restoration and reconciliation, as in 2 Cor 2.
I believe the saved wife of an unsaved husband, who is involved in the sins listed above in
this section, has the same chaste separation option, from the context of 1 Cor. 7:10-15. I
understand this kind of separation from such sinning mates involves the cessation of
sexual intimacy, until either the sinning spouse repents as in 2 Cor 2 & 7 or the Lord
takes the life of the sinning spouse so as to save his spirit.
There is a parallel in the relationship of the Body of Christ to Christ. When a brother
becomes part of the Bride of Christ Jesus is bound by His own Word in the relationship,
not to put apart what God has put together (John 17:2, 6, 9, 10, 20, 21).So when a
brother stumbles into fornication>35, instead of cutting off the relationship and
disowning him, Jesus Loves him and has promised to chasten him in that Love>36. There
is a break in fellowship, a separation, in that Jesus doesn't respond to his usual
prayers>37 and releases his body to Satan for the destruction of his body>38 in order to
save his spirit>39. He still belongs to Jesus because he shows that his spirit will be saved
even if the chastening doesn't result in repentance>40. No one, neither himself nor Jesus,
can take him out of Jesus hand>41. So the brother is chastened>42 and genuinely
repents>43, resulting in his restoration to good standing and fellowship in the Bride of
Christ and with Jesus.
[Footnote: >35. 1 Cor. 5; 2 Tim. 2:24,26. >36. 1 Cor.5; Hebrews 12. >37. Isaiah; Mat.
6:16; 1 Pet. 3:7; 1 Jn. 3:22,23. >38. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32; Heb. 12. >39. 1 Cor. 5:6; 11:27-
32 >40. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32. >41. John 10:28,29. >42. 1 Cor. 5 & 2 Cor. 2. >43. 2 Cor. 2
and 7].
Another parallel is Jesus and the nation Israel. Israel became the bride of
Jehovah/Jesus>44. When Israel misused their bodies/temple, Jehovah/Jesus allowed their
bodies to suffer>45. He didn't end His relationship/promises with the nation Israel, even
though He allowed many of them to suffer/die and allowed the temple to be destroyed.
When Israel repented genuinely, He restored His fellowship and blessings to the
genuinely repentant, even allowing them to rebuild the temple for full fellowship>46.
Jehovah/Jesus' bond with the nation Israel was not annulled and broken by their sin nor
the chastening He allowed>47.
[Footnote: >44. (Ex. 20; Ezek. 16:7; 23:1-6). >45. 1Cor. 10:9,10 >46. Ezra, Nehemiah.
>47. Ezekiel 16 and 23; Hosea]
In American reality, because of the wretchedly poor Bible teaching today Christians,
divorce and remarry almost as much as J.Q Public. The Christian wife divorces her
Christian husbandand remarries in adultery reaping the chastening of the Lord until she
dies>48 or repents in reconciliation or celibacy if she is genuinely born again. The
Christian man divorces his Christian wife and remarries. If he really repudiates his
Christian wife for another and marries another he commits adultery>49 and reaps the
Lord's chastening. At this point we need to define our terms.
[Footnotes:>48. (1 Cor 5 and 11:29-32); >49 (Mark 10, Luke 16, Matt 5, 1 Cor 7)]
IV-A. MARRIAGE, POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES FROM GENESIS TO JUDGES
THE FIRST MARRIAGE
Gen.2: 7 And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into
his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom
he had formed. 9 And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is
pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and
the tree of knowledge of good and evil. . . 15 And the LORD God took the man, and put
him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou
mayest freely eat: 17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat
of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make
him an help meet for him. 19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast
of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought [them] unto Adam to see what he
would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that [was] the name
thereof. 20 And Adam gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every
animal of the field. But there was not found a suitable helper for Adam.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. And He took
one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh underneath. 22 And the LORD God made the rib
(which He had taken from the man) into a woman. And He brought her to the man.
>>>>[Is this an ideal setting for the first marriage? Do we have such a face to face
relationship with God? Had man been designated as her head/ruler yet? Had she been told
by God yet that Adam would take the lead in their marriage? Weren't they still perfectly
equal partners still? Is it realistic to take this perfect marriage-in-paradise and hold it up
as the norm and standard for us today? Wasn't it God Himself that changed the marital
relationship when they were expelled from the Garden? Does God anywhere in His Word
say that this marriage-made-in-Paradise is to be our model and standard for Godly
marriage? Where? If He didn't make it the norm and the standard, dare we make it the
standard (Mark 7)?
[Is there anything in this first marriage that clearly and specifically allows only
monogyny? Is there anything in this first marriage that clearly and specifically forbids
polygyny? Is there anything in this passage that indicates that God set monogyny up as
the model we must follow? Is there anything in this passage that clearly and specifically
instructs us to follow Adam's example of monogyny?]
[The first mention of marriage in the Bible is where God miraculously provided Eve to
Adam in the Garden of God. Monogamists say that if God approved of polygyny God
would have given Eve, Eyvette, Eva and Evellyn to Adam. On the other hand, just like
with you and I, if we have more than one good option, we dont need to exercise all of
them, just the one that is best at the time. There is no quarrel with the fact that God has
ordained that the male leaders of his Church are to have one wife>33 , and that even in the
Old Testament the leaders were instructed not to multiply wives to themselves. To be a
valid prefigure of Christ (as the first Adam) you would expect Adam to have one wife,
just as Christ, the last Adam, has one wife the Church. [Footnote: >33 1 Tim. 3; Titus 1]
Gen.2: 23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. [She]
shall be called Woman because [she] was taken out of man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife and
they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife; and they
were not ashamed.
Does Jesus' statement The two shall become
one flesh mean that only one man and one woman
should become one flesh, as in monogamy>57 , as
most of the "leaders" maintain? Doesn't the Spirit uses The
two shall become one flesh principle in 1 Corinth. 6
to show that he who is joined to a harlot is one body
with her , and then uses the same one flesh
principle in Eph. 5 about a husband and his wife?
Jerome (340-420AD) didn't indicate any problem
understanding the possibility when he wrote,
"Lamech, a man of
blood and a murderer, was the first who divided one
flesh between two wives.">58
[Footnotes:>.57 Please see THE INSTITUTES OF
BIBLICAL LAW, by R. Rushdonney, p. 363. >.58 A
Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers
of The Christian Church, Vol. VIII; p. 358.]
Since the harlot is one flesh with every fornicator she
has sexual union with and the husband is one flesh
with his wife, how can the one flesh principle be unique to
marriage and how can it be an argument for monogamy
or against polygyny ? Doesn't the one flesh principle in
physical reality describe only the result of
sexual union, whether it involve a harlot, a fornicator,
a married couple or a polygamous marriage? Weren't David,
Israel and Abraham one flesh with each of
their wives, just as the adulteress of Prov. 6 & 7 was
one flesh with each of her adulterers? Under the Law
by Moses, being one flesh could have been the basis
for marriage>11 but not so for us after the Sinai Law
of Moses was declared voided for Gentile/nonJewish
believers in Acts 15 and 21; Eph. 2 and Col. 2,
especially in the case of 1 Cor. 7:9; 1 Tm. 5:11-14, right?If
we do not control ourselves today, aren't we commanded
to marry>12 , with who to marry not specified, only
that your mate be saved>13 and godly>14?
[Footnotes: >11 (Deut. 22:22-30; Ex. 22:16,17). >12
1 Cor. 7:9,36; 1 Tim 5:14; Appendix Six of this
document. >13. 2 Corinthians 6. .>14 1 Corinthians
5:9-11; 2 Thess. 3:6-14]
Gen.3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food. and that it was
pleasing to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make wise, she took of its fruit, and ate.
She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 And the eyes of both of them were
opened. And they knew that they [were] naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and
made girdles for themselves. 8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the
garden in the cool of the day. And Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of
the LORD God in the middle of the trees of the garden.
9 And the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, Where [are] you? 10 And he said,
I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I [am] naked, and I hid myself.
11 And He said, Who told you that you [were] naked? Have you eaten of the tree which I
commanded you that you should not eat? 12 And the man said, The woman whom You
gave [to be] with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate. 13 And the LORD God said to
the woman, What [is] this you have done? And the woman said, The serpent deceived
me, and I ate.
16 To the woman He said, I will greatly increase your sorrow and your conception. In
pain you shall bear sons, and your desire shall be toward your husband, and he shall rule
over you.
17 And to Adam He said, Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have
eaten of the tree, of which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat [of] it! The ground
[is] cursed for your sake. In pain shall you eat of it all the days of your life. 18 It shall
also bring forth thorns and thistles to you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. 19 In
the sweat of your face you shall eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you
were taken. For dust you [are], and to dust you shall return.
20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.
21 And for Adam and his wife the LORD God made coats of skins, and clothed them.
22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man has become as one of Us, to know good
and evil. And now, lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and
live forever, 23 therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden to till the
ground from which he had been taken. 24 And He drove out the man. And He placed
cherubs at the east of the garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to
guard the way to the tree of life.
4:1 And Adam knew Eve his wife. And she conceived and bore Cain, and said, I have
gotten a man from the LORD. 2 And she bore again, his brother Abel. And Abel was a
keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
>>>>>[ Are they now in a whole new "universe", under a curse, mortal, subject to
sickness and weakness and a whole new way of relating to each other as a result of their
sin? Isn't there a significant change in their relationship with each other and with God?
Hadn't the ideal first marriage become a very different thing because of sin? Didn't their
world become like ours is today? Isn't this the beginning of the changes that would take
place in human matrimony? Is there anything in this first marriage that clearly and
specifically allows only monogyny? Is there anything in this first marriage that clearly
and specifically forbids polygyny? Is there anything in this passage that indicates that
God set monogyny up as the model we must follow? Is there anything in this passage
that clearly and specifically instructs us to follow Adam's example of monogyny?]
[Leaders say that one of God's purposes in creation was that the marital standard for man
be monogamy>32 even though there is not one scripture, quoted or paraphrased, that
says that. Yet I understand a Christian elder and most of the "leaders" to persist,
apparently maintaining that there is no doubt that God's indisputable will, as seen in the
Old Testament, is monogamy.>33.
[Footnotes:>.32 Please see THE INSTITUTES OF BIBLICAL LAW, page 362, by R.
Rushdonney.; >33. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . . P.21]
Whether or not it is the best form of marriage for each individual depends on the gift and
the leading (Rom. 8:1-14) each individual receives from God. St. Augustine (4th Century
AD) had a gentler way of saying it that I feel more reflects the God of Gen. 1 and 1 Cor.
13. Consider the following:
That the good purpose of marriage, however, is better promoted by one husband with one
wife, than by a husband with several wives, is shown plainly enough by the very first
union of a married pair, which was made by the Divine Being Himself, with the intention
of marriages taking their beginning therefrom, and of its affording to them a more
honorable precedent. In the advance, however, of the human race, it came to pass that to
certain good men were united a plurality of good wives, --- many to each; and from this it
would seem that moderation sought rather unity on one side for dignity, while nature
permitted plurality on the other side for fecundity. For on natural principles it is more
feasible for one to have dominion over many, than for many to have dominion over one.
[Footnote: >..34 2b A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The
Christian Church; Vol. V; p. 267]
Not one verse, quoted or paraphrased, says that God's purpose was that "monogamy be
the standard for man" but most of our relgious leaders teach this doctrine. They say that
Gen. 2:18-24 shows that "The normative marriage is clearly monogamous.
First that passage says nothing about Gen 2 being normative, and no other passage in the
Bible says that. None of us are commanded by God to emulate or imitate Adam. Adam
had to be unique as the first Adam just as Christ had to be unique to be the last
Adam>35. , and being unique it is no surprise that both Adams have one unique wife (the
first Adam, Eve; the last Adam>36. Jesus, the Church). In the Old Testament Jesus
portrayed Himself as a polygynist>37 in accordance with His own Law governing
polygyny, and as King of Kings He did not multiply wives to Himself. In the New
Testament as the Leader of the Church, He could have only one wife in accordance with
His own Law governing the marital status of Church leaders>4
[Footnotes:>.35. 1 Cor. 15:45-49; Romans 5:12-21. >.36. DITTO 1 Cor. 15:45-49;
Romans 5:12-21. >.37 Ezekiel 23; >.>4 Titus 1; 1 Timothy 3]
"Monogamy is implicit in the story of Adam and Eve, since God created only one wife
for Adam. Yet polygyny is adopted from the time of Lamech (Gn. 4:19), and is not
forbidden inScripture. . . ...Polygamy continues to the present day among Jews in
Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African countries." [Douglas New Bible
Dictionary : MARRIAGE: .....p.787]
. . Elkanah, the husband of Hannah and Peninnah, is an interesting example of a man of no
particular position who nevertheless had more than one wife; this may be an indication
that bigamy, at least, if not polygamy, was not confined to the very wealthy and exalted.
At all events, polygyny was an established and recognized institution from the earliest of
times.>39 [Footnote: >39. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.259.]
Polygamy meets us as a fact: e.g. Abraham, Jacob, the Judges, David, Solomon; 1 Ch 7:4
is evidence of its prevalence in Issachar; Elkanah (1 Sam.1:1ff) is significant as belonging
to the middle class; Jehoida (2 Ch 24:3) as a priest. . .Legislation . . . safeguarded the
rights of various wives, slave or free; and according to the Rabbinical interpretation of Lv
21:13>40. . . .the high priest was not allowed to be a bigamist. . . The marriage figure
applied to the union of God and Israel . . . implied monogamy as the ideal state. . . Being ..
apparently legalized, and having the advantage of precedent, it was long before polygamy
was formally forbidden in Hebrew society, though practically it fell into disuse; the
feeling of the Rabbis was strongly against it. Herod had nine wives at once. . . Its
possibility is implied by the technical continuance of the Levirate law, [Deut. 25:5-10]
and is proved by the early interpretation of 1 Ti 3, whether correct or not. Justin
reproaches the Jews of his day [A.D.] with having 'four or even five wives,' and marrying
'as they wish, or as many as they wish.' The evidence of the Talmud shows that in this
case at least the reproach had some foundation. Polygamy was not definitely forbidden
among the Jews till the time of R. Gershom (c. A.D. 1000), and then at first only for
France and Germany. In Spain, Italy, and the East it persisted for some time longer, as it
does still among the Jews in Mohammedan countries>41.
[Footnote: (>.(40. Septuagint Lev. 21:13 "He shall take for a wife a virgin of his own
tribe.". .>41. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.583ff.]
Eugene Nida's (American Bible Society) book Customs and Cultures>42 documents the
practice of polygyny by Christians in non Western countries, and how it is still practiced
in China, SE Asia, India, Africa and parts of South America. Eugene Nida points out that
when polygamists become Christians they are told of their limitations in church offices
and are asked not to take any additional wives because it stumbles western Christians>5 .
They are not usually asked to abandon their other wives to a premature widowhood
because of l Cor. 7:1-15.
[Footnotes:>.42 1954, Harper & Brothers, New York; >5 (Rom 14, l Cor. 8 and 10)]
The unscriptural condemnation of polygyny/concubinage by the Western Christian
community has proven to be one of the main obstacles for people in Eastern and third
world countries to accept the message of Christ, especially if Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Oriental, or African, fulfilling Christ's Word in Mark 7:13 "making the word of
God of no effect through your tradition which you have delivered . . ." The Western
Christian tradition against polygyny hinders the spread of the Gospel of Christ in
Moslem and other polygynous societies.
What about all those third world folks, especially the Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian,
Oriental, and Africans, who are practicing polygyny/ concubinage and are told that they
have to dump or abandon their extra wives in order to become Christians? This
requirement keeps many from Christ and alienates many against Christ, being one of the
biggest obstacles for the Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African
communities. These "Christian" folks who feel their own tradition about monogamy and
polygyny must be kept by Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and Africans and
other third world polygamists for them to become Christians, sound like the folks: Mat.
23:13 " But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, for you shut up the
kingdom of the heavens before men; for *you* do not enter, nor do you suffer those that
are entering to go in."
The angels are waiting to rejoice over the conversion of one polygamous Moslem, Hindu,
Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African or third worlder. "Christian legalists and
traditionalists" wont let them into their "Christian" churches unless they sin by (1)
"dealing treacherously">6 with their wives by putting them away in repudiation, (2)
disobeying Christ's command not to leave their wives>7 , and (3) not remaining in the
marital condition in which they were called to Christ, whether it be concubinage,
polygyny or in monogamy. I understand one source to make the point has been made that
it would be brutal for the Christian community to force a polygamist to have to choose
between (1) being saved and then baptized, and (2) having his wives in legally and
sociably acceptable polygyny.>43.
[Footnotes:>6 Malachi 2; >7 1 Cor. 7:11,12,13,14; ^>.^43. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE
ME. . . P.33; [Karl Barth, CHURCH DOGMATICS, III/4, p. 203].
So what is the solution? What is God's solution? At the very least the Spirit's Word in
Paul tells us that if you, husband or wife, are saved in polygyny/concubinage, then remain
in polygyny/concubinage and accept it as God's distribution for each person involved in
particular.
1 Cor.7: 17 However, as the Lord has divided to each, as God has called each, so let him
walk; and thus I ordain in all the assemblies. . . . 20 Let each abide in that calling in which
he has been called. . . . 24 Let each, wherein he is called, brethren, therein abide with God.
. . . 26 I think then that this is good, on account of the present necessity, that [it is] good
for a man to remain so as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Seek not to be loosed; are
you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
ADAM'S CREATOR, JEHOVAH, LATER PRESENTED HIMSELF AS A
POLYGYNIST WITH TWO WIVES.
**** EZEKIEL 23: 1 The word of the LORD came again to me, 2 Son of man, there
were two women, the daughters of one mother. 3 And they fornicated in
Egypt; they whored in their youth, their breasts were handled, and there their Oholibah,
her sister. And they were Mine, and they bore sons and daughters . And their names:
Samaria [is] Oholah, and Jerusalem [is] Oholibah. 5 And Oholah whored under Me. And
she lusted after her lovers, to [her] Assyrian neighbors, . . . 18 So she uncovered her
fornications and uncovered her nakedness. And My soul was alienated from her just as
My soul was alienated from her sister. 36 And the LORD said to me: Son of man, will
you judge Oholah and Oholibah, and declare to them their abominations, 37 that they have
committed adultery , and blood [is] on their hands? And they have committed adultery
with their idols and have also caused their sons whom they bore to Me to pass through
the fire to them, to devour them. . . . . 45 And [as] righteous men, they shall judge them
[with] the judgment of adulteresses, and the judgment of women who shed blood;
because they [are] adulteresses, and blood [is] in their hands.
EZEK 16:8 And I swore to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord
Jehovah. And you became Mine, and they bore sons and daughters . And
their names: Samaria [is] Oholah, and Jerusalem [is] Oholibah. . . . . . . 20 And you have
taken your sons and your daughters, whom you have borne to Me, and you gave these to
them for food. [Are] your fornications small? . . . . . . . . . 30 How weak is your heart,
says the Lord Jehovah, since you do all these, the work of a woman, an overbearing
harlot; 31 in that you build your mound at the head of every way, and make your high
place in every street. Yet you have not been as a harlot, scorning wages. 32 [Like] the
adulterous wife, instead of her husband, she takes strangers. 33 They give a gift to all
harlots, but you give your gifts to all your lovers, and bribe them to come to you from all
around, for your fornication. 34 And in you was the opposite from [those] women in
your fornications, since no one whores after you, and in your giving wages, and hire is not
given to you. [In] this you are opposite. . . . . . . 59 For so says the Lord Jehovah: I will
even deal with you as you have done, who have despised the oath in breaking the
covenant.
60 But I will remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will
establish to you an everlasting covenant. 61 And you shall remember your ways and be
ashamed, when you shall receive your sisters, your older and your younger. And I will
give them to you for daughters, but not by [your] covenant. 62 And I will establish My
covenant with you; and you shall know that I [am] the LORD; 63 so that you may
remember and be ashamed; and it will not be [possible] to open [your] mouth any more
because of your shame; in that I am propitiated for all that you have done, says the Lord
Jehovah.
Does God ever portray Himself as a sinner commiting sin? Can polygyny be a sin if God
portrays Himself as a polygynist? Is there anything in this passage that condemns or
forbids polygyny? In the Old Testament Jesus, as Jehovah>34 , presents Himself as the
husband of one wife remembering their wedding day and the exchange of the vows at
Mt. Sinai in the desert>35 . Reflecting the reality of how Israel and Judah divided after
Solomon died, Jesus (as Jehovah) presents Himself as the husband of two wives
God never presents Himself as sin or sinner to us except for when holy Christ became sin
for us on the cross. In Ezek. 23, the sinners were His wives and He was righteous as the
husband of two wives. It was only two wives in accordance with His own Law that
decreed that the ruler must not multiply wives to himself. Polygyny , even Gods
polygyny , is NEVER labeled or declared to be sin or sinful in the Bible.
God portrays Himself, in the fullness of His holiness, as the polygamous husband of two
wives in Ezekiel 23. I believe God was not a victim of the fall, and remains holy in a
world of sin. If polygamy clearly appears as a product of the fall then why isnt there one
scripture or even one verse that says that? Since there isnt, it seems to be more mens
teaching. No where does polygyny appear, in the Old or the New Testaments, in any list
of sins, list of fleshly works or list of abominations to God. I understand Rev. Gerhard
Jasper to make the following points: (1) In Old Testament times a Jewish polygynist's
marriage was fully recognized as marriage, protected by the Law and the elders; (2) the
Jewish polygynist's faith in or faithfulness to God was not questioned because of his
polygyny; (3) the polygyny of the Jewish polygynist did not keep him from being
admitted to the congregation with full membership.>44. Moses did not forbid
polygamy>8 (Dt. 21:15,16) >8 but apparently it was unusual among average people
.>45.
[Footnotes:>.f89 Please see p. 362, THE INTSTITUTES OF BIBLICAL LAW, by R.
Rushdonney. >44. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . . P.18; (AFRICAN
THEOLOGICAL JOURNAL, Rev. Gerhard Jasper of Lutheran Theological College in
Makumira, Tanzania; Februrary 1969, p. 41). >45. Please see THE INTERNATIONAL
BIBLE COMMENTARY; p. 407.]
St. Augustine (4th Century AD) had a good word on this subject. Consider the
following:That the holy fathers of olden times after Abraham, and before him, to whom
God gave His testimony that "they pleased Him," [Heb. 11:4-6] thus used their wives, no
one who is a Christian ought to doubt, since it was permitted to certain individuals
amongst them to have a plurality of wives, where the reason was for the multiplication of
their offspring, not the desire of varying gratification. . .In the advance . . . of the human
race, it came to pass that to certain good men were united a plurality of good wives, ---
many to each; and from this it would seem that moderation sought rather unity on one
side for dignity, while nature permitted plurality on the other side for fecundity. For on
natural principles it is more feasible for one to have dominion over many, than for many
to have dominion over one.>46
[Footnote: >46 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church Vol. V; p. 267.]
LAMECH, THE FIRST POLYGYNIST.
Gen.4:17 And Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch. And he built a city,
and called the name of the city after the name of his son, Enoch. 18 And Irad was born to
Enoch. And Irad fathered Mehujael. And Mehujael fathered Methusael. And Methusael
fathered Lamech.
19 And Lamech took two wives to himself. The name of the first one [was] Adah, and the
name of the other [was] Zillah.
As Jerome (340-420AD) put it, "Lamech, a man of blood and a murderer, was the first
who divided one flesh between two wives." >3 Some maintain that polygamy was much
less common in the Old Testament than is frequently thought to be the case, though its
practice usually seemed to have a valid reason >4.
[Footnotes:>39. **** GEN. 4: 19 ; A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church,Vol. VIII; p. 358. >4. Please see THE
INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY; p.119.]
Have you considered what Saint Augustine said in the fourth century AD?
"But here there is no ground for a criminal
accusation: for a plurality of wives was no crime when
it was the custom; and it is a crime now, because it is
no longer the custom. There are sins against nature,
and sins against custom, and sins against the laws. In
which, then, of these senses did Jacob sin in having a
plurality of wives? As regards nature, he used the
women not for sensual gratification, but for the
procreation of children. For custom, this was the
common practice at that time in those countries. And
for the laws, no prohibition existed. The only reason
of its being a crime now to do this, is because custom
and the laws forbid it."
[Footnote: >.14 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. iv; p. 289]
THE POLYGYNOUS PATRIARCH, ABRAHAM , SARAH AND HAGAR
GEN. 16: 2 And Sarai said to Abram, Behold now, the LORD has kept me from
bearing. I pray you, go in to my slave woman. It may be that I may be built by her. And
Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. 3 And Sarai, Abram's wife, took
Hagar her slave woman, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his
wife (after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan); . . . . 9 And the Angel of the
LORD said to her [Hagar], Return to your mistress and submit yourself under her
hands. 10 And the Angel of the LORD said to her, I will multiply your seed exceedingly,
so that it shall not be numbered for multitude. 11 And the Angel of the LORD said to her,
Behold, you are with child, and shall bear a son. And you shall call his name Ishmael,
because the LORD has heard your affliction 12 And he will be a wild man. His hand will
be against every man, and every man's hand against him. And he shall live in the presence
of all his brothers. 13 And she called the name of the LORD who had spoken to her, You
[are] a God of vision! For she said, Even here have I looked after Him that sees me? 14
Therefore the well was called The Well of the Living One Seeing Me. Behold, [it is]
between Kadesh and Bered. 15 And Hagar bore Abram a son . And Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bore, Ishmael. 16 And Abram [was] eighty-six years old when Hagar
bore Ishmael to Abram. . . . 17: 1 And when Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram and said to him, I [am] the Almighty God! Walk before Me and be
perfect. 2 And I will make My covenant between Me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly. 3 And Abram fell on his face. And God talked with him, saying,
4 As for Me, behold! My covenant is with you, and you shall be a father of many
nations. 5 Neither shall your name any more be called Abram, but your name shall be
Abraham. For I have made you a father of many nations. 6 And I will make you
exceedingly fruitful, greatly so, and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come
out of you. 7 And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your seed after you in
their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God to you and to your seed after
you. 8 And I will give the land to you in which you are a stranger, and to your seed
after you, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession. And I will be their
God. 9 And God said to Abraham, And you shall keep My covenant, you and your seed
after you in their generations. 10 This is My covenant, which you shall keep, between
Me and you and your seed after you. Every male child among you shall be circumcised.
[If polygyny is a sin, why does God bless both Abraham and his two wives in their
polygny? Is there anything in this passage that specifically and clearly shows God's
disapproval of and displeasure in Abraham's polygyny?]
15 And God said to Abraham, As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name
Sarai, but her name [shall be] Sarah. 16 And I will bless her, and give you a son also
of her. Yes, I will bless her, and she shall be [a mother] of nations, kings of people shall
be from her. 17 And Abraham fell upon his face and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall [a
child] be born to him that is a hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years
old, bear? 18 And Abraham said to God, Oh that Ishmael might live before You! 19 And
God said, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son indeed. And you shall call his name
Isaac. And I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with
his seed after him. 20 And as for Ishmael, I have heard you. Behold, I have blessed him,
and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly. He shall father twelve
princes, and I will make him a great nation. 21 But I will establish My covenant with
Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this set time in the next year. 22 And He left off
talking with him, and God went up from Abraham.
[If polygyny is condemned by God and forbidden to man, then why does God bless
Sarah who influenced Abraham to become a polygynist? If Abraham's polygyny was a
sin, why did God bless the offspring of his polygyny? If Abraham's polygyny was a sin,
why did God personally talk with him and bless him so richly? Where is the
condemnation of Abraham's polygyny?]
23 And Abraham took his son Ishmael, and all that were born in his house, and all that
were bought with his silver; every male among the men of Abraham's house; and
circumcised the flesh of their foreskins in the same day, even as God said to him. 24 And
Abraham [was] ninety-nine years old when he was circumcised in the flesh of his
foreskin. 25 And his son Ishmael [was] thirteen years old [when] he was circumcised in
the flesh of his foreskin. 26 In the same day Abraham and his son Ishmael were
circumcised.
GEN. 21:1 And the LORD visited Sarah as He had said. And the LORD did to Sarah as
He had spoken. 2 For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set
time of which God had spoken to him. 3 And Abraham called the name of his son that
was born to him (whom Sarah bore to him) Isaac. 4 And Abraham circumcised his son
Isaac when he was eight days old, as God had commanded him.
WHERE IS THE CONDEMNATION OF ABRAHAM'S POLYGYNY? WHERE IS
THE DENUNCIATION OF THE CHILDREN OF HIS POLYGYNY?
Gen. 21: 9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian (whom she had borne to
Abraham) mocking. 10 And she said to Abraham, Cast out this slave woman and her
son. For the son of this slave woman shall not be heir with my son, with Isaac. 11 And
the thing was very evil in Abraham's sight, because of his son. 12 And God said to
Abraham, Let it not be grievous in your sight because of the boy and because of your
slave woman. In all that Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice. For in Isaac your
Seed shall be called. 13 And also, I will make a nation of the son of the slave woman,
because he [is] your seed.
WAS SHE KICKED OUT BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED THEIR POLYGYNY
DISPLEASED GOD? WHAT IS THE REASON SARAH GAVE FOR THE
EXPULSION OF HAGAR AND ISHMAEL? DID HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH
THEIR POLYGYNY?
GEN. 21: 14 And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread and a bottle of
water, and gave [it] to Hagar, putting [it] on her shoulder. And he gave her the boy, and
sent her away. And she departed and wandered in the wilderness of Beer-sheba. 15 And
the water was gone in the bottle, and she cast the boy under one of the shrubs. 16 And
she went and sat down across from him, a good way off, about a bowshot. For she said,
Let me not see the death of the boy. And she sat across from him, and lifted up her voice,
and cried. 17 And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar
out of the heavens, and said to her, What ails you, Hagar? Do not fear, for God has
heard the voice of the boy where he is. 18 Rise up, lift up the boy and hold him up with
your hand, for I will make him a great nation. 19 And God opened her eyes, and she
saw a well of water; and she went and filled the bottle with water, and gave drink to the
boy. 20 And God was with the boy, and he grew, and lived in the wilderness, and
became an archer. 21 And he lived in the wilderness of Paran, and his mother took a wife
for him out of the land of Egypt.
WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT GOD CONDEMNED OR PUNISHED HAGAR AND
ISHMAEL FOR THEIR POLYGYNY? If their polygyny were a sin, why did God take
such good care of them and promise them such great blessings?
***Gen.22: 20 And it happened after these things that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold
Milcah! She also has borne children to your brother Nahor: 21 Huz his first-born, and
Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram, 22 and Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash,
and Jidlaph, and Bethuel. 23 And Bethuel fathered Rebekah. These eight Milcah bore to
Nahor, Abraham's brother. 24 And his concubine, named Reumah, she also bore
Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.
***Gen. 23: 19 And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave at the field of
Machpelah before Mamre, which [is] Hebron, in the land of Canaan.
***Gen. 25: 1 Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah. 2 And she bore
him Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah. 3 And
Jokshan fathered Sheba and Dedan. And the sons of Dedan were Asshurim and Letushim
and Leummim. 4 And the sons of Midian: Ephah and Epher and Hanoch and Abida and
Eldaah. All these [were] the sons of Keturah. 5 And Abraham gave all that he had to
Isaac. 6 But to the sons of the concubines which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts. And
he sent them away from Isaac his son while he still lived, eastward to the east country.
****1 Chronicles 1: 32 And the sons of Keturah, Abraham's concubine : She bore Zimran,
and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah. And the sons of Jokshan:
Sheba and Dedan. 33 And the sons of Midian: Ephah, and Epher, and Henoch, and Abida,
and Eldaah. All these [are] the sons of Keturah.
[Where is God's denunciation of Abraham for having concubines? Where is God's
denunciation of the concubines for marrying Abraham? Where is Abraham's confession of
his sin, if polygyny is sinful as some say?]
Have you considered the following?
". . . a man's 'house' might consist of his mother; his
wives and the wives' children; his concbines and their
children . . . and slaves of both sexes. Polygamy was
in part the cause of the large size of the Hebrew
household; in part thecause of it may be found in the
insecurity of early times, when safety lay in numbers
. . . Polygyny and bigamy were recognized features of
the family life. From the Oriental point of view there
was nothing immoral in the practice of polygamy.
The female slaves were in every respect the property
of their master and became his concubines; except in
certain cases, when they seem to have belonged
exclusively to their mistress . . . At all events,
polygyny was an established and recognized
institution form the earliest times">8 HASTINGS
DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.259.
Eerdmans' Douglas' New Bible Dictionary: Concubine.
A secondary wife acquired by purchase or as a war
captive, and allowed in polygamous society such as
existed in the Middle east in biblical times....Where
marriages produced no heir, wives presented a slave
concubine too their husbands in order to raise an heir
(Gen. 16). Handmaidens, given as a marriage gift,
were often concubines (Gen. 29:24,29). Concubines
were protected under Mosaic law (Exod. 21:7-11; Dt.
21:10-14), though they were distinguished from
wives (Jdg. 8:31) and were more easily divorced
(Gen.21:10-14)."
[Footnote: >10. 1962, IVCF, Editor J.D.Douglas; W. B.
Eerdmans Publishing]
FUNK & WAGNALLS NEW ENCYCLOPEDIA:
CONCUBINAGE, refers to the cohabitation of a man
and a woman without sanction of legal marriage.
Specifically, concubinage is a form of polygyny in
which the primary matrimonial relationship is
supplemented by one or more secondary sexual
relationships. Concubinage was a legally sanctioned
and socially acceptable practice in ancient cultures,
including that of the Hebrews; concubines, however,
were denied the protection to which a legal wife was
entitled. . .. In Roman law, marriage was precisely
defined as monogamous; concubinage was tolerated,
but the concubine's status was inferior to that of a
legal wife. Her children had certain rights, including
support by the father and legitimacy in the event of
the marriage of the parents [>11 1986, Funk &
Wagnalls]
HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE: The relative
positions of wives and concubines were determined
mainly by the husband's favour. The children of the
wife claimed the greater part, or the whole, of the
inheritance; otherwise there does not seem to have
been any inferiority in the position of the concubine
as compared with that of the wife, nor was any idea
of illegitimacy, in our sense of the word, connected
with her children. . . . The female slaves were in every
respect the property of their master, and became his
concubines; except in certain cases, when they seem
to have belonged exclusively to their mistress, and
could not be appropriated by the man except by her
suggestion or consent (Gn 16:2,3). The slave-
concubines were obtained as booty in time of war (Jg
5:30), or bought from poverty-stricken parents (Ex
21:7); or, possibly, in the ordinary slave traffic with
foreign nations. >12
[Footnote: >12. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE;
p.259.]
The difference between a wife and a concubine
depended on the wife's higher position and birth,
usually backed by relatives ready to defend her. >13
[Footnote: >13. 1989, HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE
BIBLE; p.585.]
For this paper a distinction is made between a mistress and a concubine. I understand a
mistress to mean a human female who has sexual (breast &/or vagina) intimacy with
another human with whom she has no marital covenants/vows/ commitment. So a
mistress is in the same category as a whore, harlot, prostitue etc. except that she might be
having sexual intimacy with only one person during a specific period. I attempt to show
at length, later in the paper, that in the Bible a concubine has the status of a wife, even
though it may be by informal marital covenants/vows/ commitments. And so, continuing
the discussion . . . . Having one wife/concubine is said to significantly complicate ones life
and distract one who is waiting on God>37 , so of course we understand that any godly
man with more than one wife/concubine would be significantly more distracted from
waiting on God and would have a significantly greater struggle in his spiritual life with
God. In the New Testament in accordance with His law for church leaders, Jesus presents
Himself to His people as having only one wife, the Church>38 because believing Jews
and believing Gentiles were reconciled into one Body, the Church, to be one unified and
united Bride to Christ.
[Footnotes:>37 1 Cor. 7; >38 (1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1) ]
In the Bible's reality is a concubine the same as a mistress? In the following paragraphs I
believe you will see that a concubine has marital status in God's eyes even though socially
and culturally she doen't have as high a status as a wife who was married publicly and
according to the laws of the culture. The difference between a wife and a concubine is
discussed in the next paragraph. On the other hand a mistress is a female who lets "her
man" relate to her sexually by means of her breasts>50 and/or genitals>51 without them
making or agreeing to any marital "for life" commitments or covenants>52. So a mistress
provides sex and affection to her partner without marital commitments or covenants.
[Footnotes:>50 Prov. 5:19,20,21; Ezek.23:3,8,21; >51 1 Cor. 6:15,16, 17,18; >52 Prov.
2:16,17,18,19; 5:3,4,5,6; 6:24,25,26; 7; Ezek. 16; 23]
The only differences I can detect between a concubine and a wife are: (1) that the
concubine's marriage is confirmed by a solemn covenant between the husband and
concubine>53 without a public wedding, (2) the concubines rights were protected by God
(see below), and (3) their status as concubines spared them certain penalties>54 . The
Holy Spirit by the writer of Judges 19 declared the Levite to be the concubine's
"husband", declared the father of the concubine to be the Levite's "father-in-law", and
declared the Levite to be the "son-in-law" of the concubine's father. This is a very strong
legitimization of the husband-concubine marital status. It is the same legitimization of the
relationship that the Holy Spirit used in Matthew 1, calling the espoused Mary "wife"
and the espoused Joseph "husband". If God so recognizes them and describes them, then
who are we to do any less. By the Holy Spirit here in Judges 19 we see that a concubine
had a "husband" who was the "son-in-law" of her father, his "father-in-law". A wife has a
"husband" who is the "son-in-law" of her father, her husband's "father-in-law".
[Footnotes:>53 (Ezek. 16 and Malachi 2); >54 (Lev. 19:20 vs. Deut. 22)]
Sarai gave her slave/maid "to her husband Abram to be his wife", not concubine, but wife.
Consider the following points that appear to be made in one commentary: (1) It was
Sarai's idea>* ; (2) it was a common at the time for a wife to obligate herself to get an heir
by providing a slave girl to her husband so he could have his heir by the slave girl; (3) this
was legal but left a tangle of emotions due to the heartlessness of conventional law; (4)
polygamous marriages cause damage of
a psychological nature; (5) there is no reproof of Abram for fathering Ishmael who, in his
turn, was blessed of God and became the father of an important nation.>5. By the way
there is no proof or documentation given that proves that polygamous marriages cause
psychological damage.
[Footnotes:>* **** GEN. 16: 2 And Sarai said to Abram, Behold now, the LORD has
kept me from bearing. I pray you, go in to my slave woman. It may be that I may be built
by her. And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. 3 And Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar
her slave woman, the Egyptian, and gave her to her
husband Abram to be his wife (after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan); >5.
THE INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY; Editor, F.F.Bruce; pp. 126ff]
I understand the same commentary to make these points: (1) Abraham was reluctant
because of the customs and the laws of his society, valid concerns about his reputation;
(2) very old documentation reveals that normally it was not correct or legal to get rid of
one's concubine and children in this way; (3)
God intervened and instructed him so that he was assured that Ishmael's rights and his
mother's prospects were ensured.>6.
[Footnote: >6. THE INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY; Editor, F.F.Bruce;
p. 129]
Yes it is obvious that Sarai apparently acted on her own and there was no divine guidance
in this move, but there was also no divine condemnation. God intervened and sent Hagar
back into the marital situation with Abram and Sarai>41 When God next spoke to
Abraham>42 there was no condemnation of his polygyny , but instead God blessed him
with an even greater blessing than before. In response to the blessing he takes his son by
Hagar and circumcised him>43 . But I understand a Christian elder to maintain that there
was no blessing from God on Abraham's polygamy, that the Biblical record of it is a
criticism of Abraham's conduct. >7. He gives no references so look at the Word for
yourselves -- "in all things the Lord had blessed Abraham" (Gen. 24:1).
[Footnotes:>41 (Gen 16:9-16.); >42 (Gen. 17:1--); >43 (Gen. 17:23-25); >7. MY WIFE
MADE ME. . . .p.20.]
Consider the following:
". . . a man's 'house' might consist of his mother; his wives and the wives' children; his
concbines and their children . . . and slaves of both sexes. Polygamy was in part the cause
of the large size of the Hebrew household; in part thecause of it may be found in the
insecurity of early times, when safety lay in numbers . . . Polygyny and bigamy were
recognized features of the family life. From the Oriental point of view there was nothing
immoral in the practice of polygamy. The female slaves were in every respect the
property of their master and became his concubines; except in certain cases, when they
seem to have belonged exclusively to their mistress . . . At all events, polygyny was an
established and recognized institution form the earliest times">8 HASTINGS
DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.259.
God blessed Sarah with fertility in polygyny>44 and God blessed Hagar and Ishmael
even though she was cast out of Sarah's house at Sarah's confirmed request because of the
question of an heir, not polygyny>45 . Abraham had another concubine after Hagar,
named Keturah>46 by whom Abraham had six children without any condemnation or
denunciation by God. What about a Christian elder's apparent assertion that polygamy is
a breeding ground for contemptuous, jealous, quarrelsome conduct in a marriage resulting
in alienation between wife and husband<9 Forgive me if I sound a little naive (I'm only in
my 50's and have experienced marriage for only 24 years) but divorce court records and
sociological studies of divorce indicate that those vices are quite common in monogamy in
America today. Does that make monogamy evil? I think not. Contempt, jealousy,
quarreling and estrangement are sinful works of the flesh and need to be dealt with
Spiritually, just like any other sins involving more than one person. Sin and the flesh are
the evils, not polygamy or monogamy.
[Footnotes:>44 (Gen 21:1-7); >45 (Gen. 21); >46 (1 Chron.1:32) ; >9. See Gen. 16 and
21 as well as HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE;p.259]
ESAU'S POLYGYNY
Genesis 26: 34 And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter
of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite; 35 who were a grief
of spirit to Isaac and to Rebekah.
Gen. 28: 8 and when Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan did not please Isaac his
father; 9 then Esau went to Ishmael, and took Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael,
Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to the wives [which] he [had] for his wife .
Gen.36: 12 And Timna was concubine to Eliphaz, Esau's son. And she bore to Eliphaz
Amalek.
THE POLYGYNOUS PATRIARCH JACOB, HIS WIVES & CONCUBINES.
Were these Old Testament saints less Godly than we?
I think not. But what of those who say that having
more than one wife in those days was a falling short
of the will of God and reflected a weakness in the
character of those who participated in polygyny? St.
Augustine has a good word on that, as follows:
"But those who have not the virtues of temperance
must not be allowed to judge of the conduct of holy
men, any more than those in fever of the sweetness
and wholesomeness of food. . . If our critics, then,
wish to attain not a spurious and affected, but a
genuine and sound moral health, let them find a cure
in believing the Scripture record, that the honorable
name of saint is given not without reason to men who
had several wives; and that the reason is this, that the
mind can exercise such control over the flesh as not to \par allow the appetite implanted
in our nature by
Providence to go beyond the limits of deliberate
intention. . . . the holy patriarchs in their conjugal
intercourse were actuated not by the love of pleasure,
but by the intelligent desire for the continuance of
their family. . . .nor did the number of their wives
make the patriarchs licentious. But why defend the
husbands, to whose character the divine word bears
the highest testimony. . . ."
[Footnote: >.23 A Select Library of the Nicene and
Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. iv;
p.290]
Gen. 29: 21 And Jacob said to Laban, Give [me] my wife, for my days are fulfilled, so
that I may go in to her. 22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and
made a feast. 23 And it happened in the evening, he took his daughter Leah and brought
her to him. And he went in to her. 24 And Laban gave Zilpah his slave woman to his
daughter Leah for a handmaid. 25 And it happened in the morning, behold, it [was] Leah!
And he said to Laban, What [is] this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for
Rachel? Why then have you tricked me? 26 And Laban said, It must not be done so in our
country, to give the younger before the first-born. 27 Fulfill her week, and we will give
you this one also for the service which you shall serve with me still another seven years.
28 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week . And he gave him Rachel his daughter to
wife also. 29 And Laban gave Bilhah his slave woman to his daughter Rachel, to be her
handmaid. 30 And he also went in to Rachel. He also loved Rachel more than Leah, and
served with him still seven more years.
31 And when the LORD saw that Leah [was] hated, even He opened her womb. But
Rachel [was] barren. 32 And Leah conceived and bore a son.
Gen. 30:1 And when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister.
And she said to Jacob, Give me sons, or else I will die. 2 And Jacob's anger was kindled
against Rachel. And he said, Am I in God's stead, who has withheld from you the fruit of
the womb? 3 And she said, Behold my slave woman Bilhah; go in to her, and she shall
bear upon my knees, and yea, let me be built up from her, me also. 4 And she gave him
her slave woman Bilhah to wife. And Jacob went in to her. 5 And Bilhah conceived,
and bore Jacob a son. . . . 9 When Leah saw that she had quit bearing, she took her
slave woman Zilpah and gave her to Jacob to wife. 10 And Leah's slave woman Zilpah
bore Jacob a son. . . . . 16 And Jacob came out of the field in the evening. And Leah went
out to meet him, and said, You must come in to me, for I have surely hired you with my
son's love-apples. And he lay with her that night. 17 And God listened to Leah, and she
conceived, and bore Jacob the fifth son. . . . . 22 And God remembered Rachel, and
God listened to her and opened her womb. . . . . . 26[And Jacob said to Laban] Give me
my wives and my children, [for] whom I have served you, and let me go. For you know
my service which I have done you.
Gen.31: 3 And the LORD said to Jacob, Return to the land of your fathers, and to your
kindred, and I will be with you.
[If polygyny is the sin that some say it is, why did God intervene to help Leah conceive?
Why did God remember and bless Rachel when she influenced Jacob to have a third wife?
Why did God listen to Leah's prayer after she influenced Jacob to have a fourth wife? If
polygyny is unacceptable to God, then why did the Lord speak to Jacob and promise to
bless him with His abiding presence?]
Gen 32: 1 And Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him . 2 And when
Jacob saw them he said, This [is] God's camp. And he called the name of that place
Refuge. . . . . . .24 And Jacob was left alone. And a Man wrestled there with him until the
breaking of the day. 25 And when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched
the hollow of his thigh. And the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint as he wrestled
with Him. 26 And He said, Let Me go, for the day breaks. And he said, I will not let You
go except You bless me. 27 And He said to him, What [is] your name? And he said,
Jacob. 28 And He said, Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for like
a prince you have power with God and with men, and have prevailed. 29 And Jacob
asked and said, I pray You, reveal Your name. And He said, Why do you ask after My
name? And He blessed him there. 30 And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel; for I
have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. 31 And as he passed over Penuel the
sun rose upon him, and he limped upon his thigh.
>>>>>[Why would God allow his angels to meet Jacob, since he was practicing
polygyny with four wives? Why did Jesus wrestle with Jacob, and bless Him with a new
and significant name, if Jacob was under God's judgment for practicing polygyny? Exactly
where is God's denunciation and disapproval Jacob's polygyny expressed?
Jacob marries Rachel and Leah>58 , and goes on to have children by his concubines as
well>59. Sure, treachery was involved in the Rachel and Leah marriage, but it appears that
the treachery stands alone as the evil since at the first mention of the polygyny
option,>60 Jacob has no moral objection and nowhere does God denounce the
development. Yes Lev. 18:18 shows that much later in the time of Moses, God forbade
two sisters being wives to one husband at one time and makes rivalry the issue. God
deliberately involved Himself in the polygyny of Jacob by blessing Leah with
fertility>61. God repeated himself in this way with the mother of Samuel without
denouncing her polygyny>62 . God intervened and granted fertility to Rachel in her
polygyny>63 . God not only blesses Jacob with fertility but also with miraculous
prosperity in his polygyny> 64 . God not only blessed Jacob in his polygyny but also
delivered him from evil and harm as a polygynist>65
[Footnotes:>58 in Gen 29 & 30; >59 (Gen. 35:22; 37:2);. >60 (Gn. 29:27,29). >61 (Gn.
29:31,32; 30:17); >62 (l Sam 1:1-6); >63 (Gn. 30:22); >64 (Gn. 30:41-31:10); >65 (Gn.
31:24, 29,42)]
In spite of this Biblical record of God's blessings on Jacob, I understand a brother to write
that Jacob experienced only troublesome times with Rachel and Leah, and that they were
angry, envious, and hateful rivals.>15. Only troublesome times? What about all of God's
miraculous provision and prospering their family experienced directly from God's
intervention? What about their cooperation, their love, trust and loyalty for Jacob when
he was in conflict with their father and then with Esau? Maybe their polygyny lacked the
sweet bliss and loving harmony of Solomon's early polygyny >66 , but there is no
passage that Rachel and Leah only had troublesome times.
[Footnotes:>15. Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . ; p. 20; >66 (Song of Songs 6:4-9)]
I wish I had some of that trouble in my life! What about the rivalry? God saw the
destructive potential of such sibling rigalry and made the law that a polygynist should not
marry the sister of his wife >67 . He did not condemn the man for being a polygynist, He
just indicated that the man as polygynist should not marry his wife's sister while she
lived. What about the hatred, envy and anger? Well folks, I don't mean to be redundant,
but we see those sins in monogamy, between sisters, between brothers (Cain & Abel) and
between children and parents (Absalom and David) then and today. If you aren't aware of
that, then I have to ask you if you were raised by Robinson Crusoe on some island.
[Footnote: >67 (Lev. 18:18)]
PATRIARCHAL POLYGYNY
1 Chronicles 2: 4 And Tamar his daughter-in-law bore him Pharez and Zerah. All the sons
of Judah [were] five. 5 The sons of Pharez: Hezron and Hamul.
9 And the sons also of Hezron, who were born to him: Jerahmeel, and Ram, and Chelubai.
18 And Caleb the son of Hezron fathered [sons] of Azubah [his] wife, and of Jerioth.
Her sons [are] these: Jesher, and Shobab, and Ardon. 19 And when Azubah died, Caleb
took Ephrath to himself, who bore him Hur. . . . . . . 46 And Ephah, Caleb's concubine,
bore Haran, and Moza, and Gazez. And Haran fathered Gazez. 47 And the sons of
Jahdai: Regem and Jotham and Geshan and Pelet and Ephah and Shaaph. 48 Maachah,
Caleb's concubine, bore Sheber, and Tirhanah. 49 She also bore Shaaph the father of
Madmannah, Sheva the father of Machbenah, and the father of Gibea. And Caleb's
daughter [was] Achsah. 50 These were the sons of Caleb the son of Hur. The first-born of
Ephratah [was] Shobal the father of Kirjath-jearim; 51 Salma the father of Bethlehem,
Hareph the father of Beth-gader.
1 Chronicles 4: 1 The sons of Judah [were] Pharez, Hezron, and Carmi, and Hur, and
Shobal. . . . . . .These [are] the sons of Hur, the first-born of Ephratah, the father of
Bethlehem. 5 And Ashur the father of Tekoa had two wives, Helah and Naarah.
1 Chronicles 7:14 The sons of Manasseh: Ashriel, the son born to his Syrian concubine
with Machir the father of Gilead, 15 and Machir took a wife for Huppim and for
Shuppim; and the name of his sister [was] Maachah. And the name of the second [was]
Zelophehad. And Zelophehad had daughters. 16 And Maachah the wife of Machir bore
a son, and she called his name Peresh. And the name of his brother [was] Sheresh, and his
sons [were] Ulam and Rakem.
1 Chronicles 8: 8 And Shaharaim fathered [sons] in the land of Moab, after he had sent
them away. Hushim and Baara [were] his wives. 9 And by his wife Hodesh, [were]
Jobab, and Zibia, and Mesha, and Malcham, 10 and Jeuz, and Shachia, and Mirma. These
[were] his sons, heads of the fathers.
[Exactly where is God's denunciation and disapproval of the patriarchs' polygyny
expressed?
Consider what Saint Augustine said in the fourth century AD.
"But here there is no ground for a criminal accusation: for a plurality of wives was no
crime when it was the custom; and it is a crime now, because it is no longer the custom.
There are sins against nature, and sins against custom, and sins against the laws. In which,
then, of these senses did Jacob sin in having a plurality of wives? As regards nature, he
used the women not for sensual gratification, but for the procreation of children. For
custom, this was the common practice at that time in those countries. And for the laws,
no prohibition existed. The only reason of its being a crime now to do this, is because
custom and the laws forbid it."
[Footnote: >.14 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. iv; p. 289]
I hope that dear brother Augustine is having a wonderful time in Heaven. I also hope that
Jesus has shared with Him meaning of Prov. 5:18, 19----- a husband's sensual gratification
by and with his wife's breasts, being enraptured and intoxicated with and by her
lovemaking; the sensual gratification of the marital joys of the Song of Solomon; the joyful
marital living of Eccles. 9:7,8,9; and the sensual gratification of the blissful exchange of
intimate marital affection required in 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5. I don't understand how he could
have missed these obvious God given instructions to blissfully and wholeheartedly love
our mates in marriage.
The maidservant status of Hagar and Jacob's wives is clothed in marital status>74 . It is a
profound statement that in all of the explicit moral injunctions of Lev. 18, 19, &20; Deut
12 & 27 there is not one denunciation of polygyny or concubinage. Concubinage
apparently, because it involved maidservants, seems to have a lower status as reflected in
Ex. 21:7-9 with Lev. 19:20 in contrast to Deut. 22:23-26.]
GOD GAVE MOSES RULES ABOUT POLYGYNY
*Exodus 21:7 And if a man sells his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as
the menservants do. 8 If she does not please her master, who has betrothed her to
himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no power to sell her to a strange
nation, since he has dealt deceitfully with her. 9 And if he has betrothed her to his son, he
shall deal with her as with daughters. 10 If he takes himself another [wife], her food, her
clothing, and her duty of marriage shall not be lessened. 11 And if he does not do these
three to her, then she shall go out free without money.
[If polygyny is a sin, why doesn't God forbid the men from taking an additional wife? If
polygyny is unacceptable to God, why does He instruct men what He requires of them if
they take an additional wife? If polygyny is sin, where is His command that a woman not
marry a man who already has a wife?]
*Leviticus 18: 17 The nakedness of a woman and her daughter shalt thou not uncover;
thou shalt not take her son's daughter, nor her daughter's daughter, to uncover her
nakedness: they are her near relations: it is wickedness. 18 And thou shalt not take a wife
to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness beside her, during her life. [darby]
And thou shalt not take a woman to her sister, to be a rival
to her . . .. beside the other in her lifetime.>47
[Footnote: >.47 The Holy Scriptures, Masoretic Text]
Thou shalt not take a wife in addition to her sister, as
a rival . . in opposition to her, while she is yet
living.>48
[Footnote: >.48 The Septuagint Version, 1972]
And you shall not take to wife a sister of your wife,
to distress her. . ..beside the other in her lifetime.>49
[Footnote: >.49 The Holy Bible from Ancient Eastern
Manuscripts]
And thou shalt not take a wife to her sister, to be a
rival to her , . . ...besides the other in her life-
time.>50
[Footnote: >.50 American Standard Version 1901 &
1929]
You must not marry a woman in addition to her
sister, to be a rival to her. . . .when the first one is
alive.>51
[Footnote: >.51 Amplified Bible, 1965, Zondervan
Publishing House.]
The New King James Version agrees with the meaning
of those above.The New International Version agrees
with the meaning of those above. >53
[Footnote: >.53 HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL
VERSION.]
Lev 18:18 A husband marrying two sisters???????
18 You are not to take a woman to be a rival with [her] sister [and] have sexual relations with her while her sister is still alive. Stern's Complete Jewish Bible
I appreciate your concern about your husband taking your sister as another wife in light of Lev 18:18. Young's Literal Translation and Strong's Concordance/Lexicon make it clear that in the Hebrew there is no "her" in the Hebrew for "her sister", there is no "and" in "and have sexual relations", that the word "Rival" is not the only rendering of the Hebrew and is misleading, and there is no basis for "beside her."
18 And a woman unto another thou dost not take, to be an adversary, to uncover her nakedness beside her, in her life. YLT
Putting Strong's in the verse you get the following:
18 And do not take, accept, bring, buy, carry away, fetch, get, include, mingle, place, receive, reserve, seize, send for, take up, use, and/or win<3947> a woman unto a sister, being an adversary, an affliction, an oppression, a trouble, a distress, an enemy, and/or a vexation<6887>; uncovering her nakedness, in her life. YLT
So in contrast to the following translations:
18 You are not to marry a woman as a rival to [her] sister [and] have sexual intercourse with her during her [sister's] lifetime. HCSB
18 You are not to take a woman to be a rival with [her] sister [and] have sexual relations with her while her sister is still alive. Stern's Complete Jewish Bible
18And you shall not take a woman as a rival wife to [her] sister, uncovering her nakedness while her sister is still alive. ESV
18'You shall not marry a woman [in addition to her] sister as a rival while she is alive, to uncover her nakedness. NASB
18 " 'Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife [and] have sexual relations with her while your wife is living. NIV
I understand the verse to instruct a husband
that he should
[1] neither take, accept, bring, buy, carry away, fetch, get, include, place, receive, reserve, seize, send for, take up, use, and/or win<3947> a woman as wife in a situation where she is the sister of anyone already in his family, and so is already/potentially an adversary, an affliction, an oppression, a trouble, a distress, an enemy, and/or a vexation to his family;
[2] nor uncover the genitals of and have sexual relations with such a woman.
A sister is born for adversity and difficulty that should be avoided whenever possible. (Proverbs 17:16-18; Proverbs 18:18-20). We know how Jesus wants siblings to live together in peace and harmony:
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brothers to dwell together in unity!" Psa133:1-3
We know how displeasing trouble among sisters is to God it is to God to stir up trouble among brothers (Prov 6:18-20).
Given all of the above I would strongly urge any husband not to take as an additional wife the sister of anyone who is already in his family. Rachel and Leah are the model of sisters thrown into contention when married to the same man.
If a husband doesn't accept this understanding, but goes with the more common interpretation, consciously and intentionally not taking the sister to be an adversary, an affliction, an oppression, a trouble, a distress, an enemy, and/or a vexation to her sister who is already his wife, and so thinks the passage does not apply, THEN I WOULD STRONGLY ADVISE THE HUSBAND TO TAKE THE ADVICE GIVEN IN THE FILES/DOCUMENTS SECTION OF MY POLY GROUPS - "SUCCESSFUL POLYGYNY" + "URBAN BLUE COLLAR POLYGYNY" + "A PRINCESS REMEMBERS" - - - - that each sister have her own dwelling/residence, with her own kitchen, bedroom and bathroom, NOT WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE, PREFERABLY IN A DIFFERENT TOWN/SUBURB/BARRIO (especially to avoid their children attending the same K-9 schools), and that the sisters be together with their husband only on a visitor/visiting basis for picnics, outings, special occasions etc. - - - an even then the husband being careful to spend approximately the same time at the side of each, being careful to have approximately the same eye and touch contact with each - for jealousy is an ever present threat.
[Can Lev. 18:18 be used to condemn polygyny, or does it forbid being married to two
blood sisters at the same time? Is the issue here that of marrying sisters, or is the issue
polygyny? I SEE A PROHIBITION OF RACHEL+LEAH MARRIAGES INVOLVING
TWO SISTERS BEING MARRIED TO THE SAME HUSBAND, BUT WHERE IS
THE IMPLIED PROHIBITION OF POLYGYNY? It seems to me that God is simply
prohibiting a husband from marrying the sister in-the-flesh of his wife.
Does it apply to sisters in the Spirit? The obediently believing Israelite women were as
much sisters in the Lord as are the Christian women sisters in the Spirit and there was no
prohibition against them being in polygynist marriages like King Davids. Are you willing
to add to the scripture to support the tradition of men?
*De 17:15 You shall only set him king
over you whom Jehovah your God will choose: from
among your brethren shall you set a king over you; .
. . 16 Only he shall not multiply horses to himself, . . .
17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, t hat his
heart turn not away; neither shall he greatly multiply
to himself silver and gold.
[If this passage is used to make a case against polygyny, shouldn't it also be used to make
a case that the king should have only one horse, only one bar of gold, and only one bar of
silver?]
God's Law forbade a king from "multiplying" wives>.75 to himself without making such a
command to we nonkings. It appears from later scripture about Godly and God blessed
kings of Israel that God makes a distinction between MULTIPLYING wives & horses to
yourself and adding wives & horses to yourself. None of us object to King David having
more than one horse but many object to King David having more than one wife, yet it is
the same command "he shall not multilply hoses . . . wives to himself." By 2 Samuel 5-12
God had given him seven wives plus a number of concubines. We see His implied blessing
on Davids polygyny . This implied blessing of his polygyny would have to mean that
David, with concubines and seven wives, had not yet violated the prohibition against a
king multiplying wives and horses to himself.
[Footnotes:>75 De 17:15 You shall only set him king over you whom Jehovah your God
will choose: from among your brethren shall you set a king over you; . . . 16 Only he shall
not multiply horses to himself, . . . 17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his
heart turn not away; neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold. NO
PROHIBITION FROM HAVING SOME HORSES , SOME WIVES and some gold]
*Deut. 21:15 If a man have two wives, one beloved,
and one hated, and they have borne him children,
[both] the beloved and the hated, and [if] the first-
born son be hers that was hated; 16 then it shall be,
in the day that he makes his sons to inherit [that]
which he has, [that] he may not make the son of the
beloved first-born before the son of the hated, who is
the first-born; 17 but he shall acknowledge as first-
born the son of the hated, by giving him a double
portion of all that he has; for he is the firstfruits of his
strength: the right of the firstborn is his.
John MacArthur, a leading conservative and orthodox Bible teacher and head of a leading evangelical seminary, in his attempt to prove that polygyny is not godly or Biblical, declares that the original Hebrew of Deut 21:15 should be translated "if a man has had two wives" but gives us no Hebrew to support his allegation. None of the reputable Bible translations today support his translation, neither does the Septuagint, nor Young's Literal Translation. Consider the evidence:
The Greek Old Testament, the Septuagint, completed 250 BC
http://septuagint-interlinear-greek-bible.com/intro.htm
LXX Deut 21:15 But if there be to a man two wives, one of them being loved, and one of them being detested, and they should bear with him, both the one being loved and the one being detested,
Please note that it does not say 'But if there were to a man two wives, one of them was being loved, and one of them was being detested,' or 'But if there had been to a man two wives, one of them had been loved, and one of them had been detested,'.
LXX Deut 21:15 “And if a man has two wives, the one loved and the other hated, and both the loved and the hated should have born him children, and the son of the hated should be firstborn;
TRANSLATED, REVISED AND EDITED BY PAUL W. ESPOSITO
http://www.apostlesbible.com/books/deuteronomy.htm
LXX Deut 21:15Now if a man has two wives, one of them
loved and one of them hated, and if both the loved
and the hated bear him children and the firstborn
son is of the one who is hated,
Melvin K. H. Peters - - http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/nets/edition/
LXX Deut 21:15 And if a man have two wives, the one loved and the other hated, and both the loved and the hated should have born him children, and the son of the hated should be first-born;
http://www.ecmarsh.com/lxx/
The Complete Jewish Bible (D. H. Stern)
Deut 21:15 If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved . . . .
Deut 21:15"If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and the unloved have borne him sons, if the firstborn son belongs to the unloved,
Gen 29:33
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love,
New International Version (NIV)
Deut 21:15"If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and the unloved have borne him children, and if the firstborn son belongs to the unloved, (See Gen 29:30, 33; 1 Sam 1:4, 5)
English Standard Version (ESV)
Deut 21: 15 "If a man has two wives, one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and the unloved bear him sons, and if the unloved wife has the firstborn son,
Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
Deut 21:15`When a man hath two wives, the one loved and the other hated, and they have borne to him sons (the loved one and the hated one), and the first-born son hath been to the hated one;
Young's Literal Translation (YLT)
If God condemns polygyny, why does he not only allow a man to have two wives, but
he actually legislates the right of one wife's child over the right of the other wife's child? If
the children are children of polygyny, why would God give them any rights at all, if it is
such a sin as some say?
I understand Rev. Gerhard Jasper to make the following points:
(1) In Old Testament times a Jewish polygynist's marriage was fully recognized as
marriage, protected by the Law and the elders;
(2) the Jewish polygynist's faith in or faithfulness to God was not
questioned because of his polygyny;
(3) the polygyny of the Jewish polygynist did not keep him from being
admitted to the congregation with full membership.>44. Moses did not forbid
polygamy>8
(Dt. 21:15,16) >8 but apparently it was unusual
among average people .>45.
[Footnotes:>.f89 Please see p. 362, THE INTSTITUTES
OF BIBLICAL LAW, by R. Rushdonney. >44.
Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . . P.18; (AFRICAN
THEOLOGICAL JOURNAL, Rev. Gerhard Jasper of
Lutheran Theological College in Makumira, Tanzania;
Februrary 1969, p. 41). >45. Please see THE
INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY; p. 407.]
It was expected that the female slave would become her master's wife or concubine, or
become the wife or concubine of her master's son, and the law protected her rights if he
was unwilling to do so.>16. Her owner could not sell her to foreigners because he had
"trifled" with her (see LXX), "seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.">17.
[Footnotes:>16. Please see the discussion in THE INTERNATIONAL BIBLE
COMMENTARY; p.126ff & p.172ff.; >17. Ex. 21:8; The Holy Scriptures according to
the Masoretic Text].
He legislated polygyny without one word or hint of condemnation. If polygyny were sin,
why didn't God condemn it instead of putting the royal seal of His holy Law on it? God's
designated and anointed leaders freely and openly practiced it (Abraham, Jacob, David,
Jehoida the priest, and God in Ezekiel 23). Where in the Bible does he find an Old
Testament writer embarrassed to report polygamy? If you know of a single passage that
clearly and explicitly states that, please let me know. How can any Old Testament writer
be embarrassed of something God sanctioned and legislated, and that His designated and
anointed leaders freely and openly practiced with God's obvious and abundant blessing in
their lives (see the next section)? The Old Testament writers untiringly and realistically
show the negativity of polygamy? Abram and Sarai, Rachel and Leah had problems, as
did Hannah and so did Solomon, but even with these four there is no untiring and
relentless criticism of polygamy? I couldn't find it. In the next section, covering thousands
of years and each major period of Jewish history there is no such relentless criticism of
polygyny found in the Bible.
IV-B. MARRIAGE AND POLYGYNY FROM JUDGES TO JESUS
POLYGYNY UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF THE JUDGES
Judges 8: 29 And Jerubbaal the son of Joash went and lived in his own house. 30 And
Gideon had seventy sons, begotten of his body. For he had many wives. 31 And his
concubine, who was in Shechem, also bore him a son whose name he called Abimelech.
32 And Gideon the son of Joash died in a good old age, and was buried in the tomb of
Joash his father, in Ophrah [of] the Abiezrites.
>>>>>[If Gideon were in open sin as a polygynist, why did God choose him to lead
Israel, and grant him success in his confrontation of the enemy? Where is God's explicit
and specific denunciation of Gideon's polygny?
Gideon had MANY WIVES, was blessed and used of God without any
condemnation/denunciation from God about his polygyny>77 . A dear brother
apparently states, of Gideon's (Jerubbaal's ) son Abimelech, that polygamy actually lead
to murder in Judg. 9:5 >18. Excuse me! With logic like that I guess you would have to say
that the monogamy of Adam and Eve led Cain to murder Abel. I think not. Jesus makes it
clear that murder comes from the murderer's heart >78 or from the inner working of the
evil ones>79 , but not from monogamy or polygamy. The problem is sin and the flesh,
not polygamy.
[Footnotes:>77 (Judges 8:29-32); >18. Trobisch; MY WIFE MADE ME>.>.>.p. 20; >78
(Matt. 15:18,19); >79 (Eph. 2:1,2; 6:12)]
Judges 19:1 And it came to pass in those days,
when [there was] no king in Israel, that there was a
certain Levite, . . . who took to him a concubine out of
Bethlehem-Judah. 2 And his concubine played the
whore against him, and went away from him to her
father's house to Bethlehem-Judah, and was there
four whole months. 3 And HER HUSBAND rose up and
went after her, to speak friendly to her, [and] to bring
her again; . . . And she brought him into her father's
house; and when the father of the damsel saw him he
rejoiced to meet him. 4 And his FATHER-IN-LAW,
the damsel's father, retained him, and he abode with
him three days; . . .5 . . . And the damsel's father said
to his SON-IN-LAW , . .
[If a concubine is not a legitimate wife, then why does God call the Levite "her husband",
and why does God call her father the Levite's "father-in-law"?
If a concubine is a harlot in God's eyes, then why was the outrage so universal and so
right in their eyes, their outrage against the sexual abuse and sexual murder of his
concubine? The death of a harlot or an adulteress was expected and accepted as righteous
by Israel, so why wasn't that the case in the sexual murder of the Levite's concubine?
What about the Levites? These keepers of the tabernacle, did they have special rules that
kept them from polygyny? Not according to the following, because when his concubine
was mercilessly murdered by rape, the nation of Israel rose to vindicate him and avenge
her murder.
SO A CONCUBINE IS NOT A HARLOT. Just like any other wife, she can become a
harlot while married (Ezek. 16 and Hosea). HARLOTRY IS AN EVIL THAT EITHER A
WIFE OR A CONCUBINE CAN PRACTICE WHILE MARRIED. Not only is a
concubine not a harlot, the Holy Spirit by the writer of the book of Judges declared the
Levite to be the concubine's "husband", declared the father of the concubine to be the
Levite's "father-in-law", and declared the Levite to be the "son-in-law" of the concubine's
father. This is a very strong legitimization of the husband-concubine marital status. It is
the same legitimization of the relationship that the Holy Spirit used in Matthew 1, calling
the espoused Mary "wife" and the espoused Joseph "husband". If God so recognizes
them and describes them, then who are we to do any less. By the Holy Spirit here in
Judges 19 we see that a concubine had a "husband" who was the "son-in-law" of her
father, his "father-in-law". A wife has a "husband" who is the "son-in-law" of her father,
her husband's "father-in-law".
1 Sam. 1: 1 And there was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim from the hills of Ephraim,
and his name [was] Elkanah, the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the
son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. 2 And he had two wives, the name of the one [was]
Hannah, and the name of the second, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but
Hannah had no children. 3 And this man went up out of his city from year to year, to
worship and to sacrifice to the LORD of hosts in Shiloh. And the two sons of Eli,
Hophni and Phinehas, the priests of the LORD, [were] there.4 And the time came that
Elkanah offered, he gave portions to Peninnah his wife, and to all her sons and her
daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave one double portion, for he loved Hannah. But the
LORD had shut up her womb. 6 And her foe also provoked her grievously, in order to
make her tremble, because the LORD had shut up her womb. 7 And [as] he did so year
by year, when she went up to the house of the LORD, so she provoked her. And she
wept and did not eat. 8 And Elkanah her husband said to her, Hannah, why do you weep?
And why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? [Am] I not better to you than
ten sons?
9 And Hannah rose up after they had eaten in Shiloh and after they had drunk. And Eli
the priest sat on the seat by the side post of the temple of the LORD. 10 And she [was]
in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the LORD, and wept sorely. 11 And she vowed a
vow and said, O, Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look upon the affliction of Your
handmaid and remember me, and not forget Your handmaid, but will give to Your
handmaid a man-child, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and there
shall no razor come upon his head. 12 And it happened as she continued praying before
the LORD, Eli noticed her mouth. 13 Now Hannah spoke in her heart, only her lips
moved, but her voice was not heard. And Eli thought she had become drunk. 14 And Eli
said to her, How long will you be drunken? Put away your wine from you! 15 And
Hannah answered, No, my lord, I [am] a woman of a sorrowful spirit. I have neither
drunk wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD. 16 Do not
count your handmaid for a daughter of wickedness, for out of the abundance of my
meditation and grief I have spoken until now. 17 And Eli answered and said, Go in peace,
and the God of Israel grant [to you] your petition that you have asked of Him. 18 And
she said, Let your handmaid find grace in your sight. So the woman went her way and ate,
and her face was no longer [sad].
[If her polygyny were an evil thing, why would Eli bless her and ask God to grant her
request?]
19 And they rose up in the morning early, and worshiped before the LORD, and returned,
and came to their house to Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the LORD
remembered her. 20 And it happened when the time had come around, Hannah conceived
and bore a son and called his name Samuel, [saying], Because I have asked him of the
LORD.
Why would the Lord remember her if she were in sin because of her polygyny? Why
would God bless her and answer her prayer, if her polygyny were a sin and an evil in the
eyes of God? Where is God's explicit and specific condemnation of this family's polygyny? Hannah, the wife of polygamous Elkanah, received the same intervention and blessing
from God that Sarah, Rachel and Leah received in their polygyny>80 . Her problem with
her co-wife and her own infertility is quite similar to Abraham and Sarah's experience. The
co-wife had a sin problem, and it was her problem, not a polygyny problem. You find the
same sinful behavior today between sisters, brothers, wives in social groups, wives
socializing in church or work settings. Sin and the flesh are the problems, not polygyny.
[Footnote: >80 (l Sam. 1:1-19)]
POLYGYNY UNDER THE LEAD OF THE KINGS OF ISRAEL
Consider St. Augustines point in the following:
. . . no one doubts . . . who reads with careful attention what use they made of their
wives, at a time when also it was allowed one man to have several, whom he had with
more chastity than any now has his one wife . . . But then they married even several
without any blame . . >65
[Footnotes:>..65 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; p. 406.]
2 Samuel 3: 7 And Saul had a concubine whose name [was] Rizpah, the daughter of
Aiah. And [Ishbosheth] said to Abner, Why have you gone in to my father's concubine? 8
And Abner was very angry over the words of Ishbosheth, and said, [Am] I a dog's head,
who shows kindness against Judah this day to the house of Saul your father, to his
brothers, and to his friends, and have not delivered you into the hand of David? [Am] I a
dog's head that you charge me today with a fault concerning this woman today?
>>>>[If a concubine is just a harlot as some say, then why all the fuss? Why is the
offense give the status of being indiscreet with another's wife, if a concubine is just a
harlot? If polygyny is a sin, as is consulting mediums (for which Saul was clearly
condemned), then why isn't his having a concubine dealt with in the same manner as his
other sins?]
DAVID'S SEVEN WIVES AND HIS TEN CONCUBINES.
****1 Samuel 18: 27 And David arose and went forth, he and his men. And [they] killed two
hundred men of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in
full number to the king so that he might be the king's son-in-law. And Saul gave him his
daughter Michal for a wife. 28 And Saul saw and knew that the LORD [was] with
David, and that Michal, Saul's daughter, loved him.
****1 Samuel 25: 42 And Abigail hurried and arose, and rode on an ass, with five of her
maidens who went after her. And she followed the messengers of David and became his
wife. 43 David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel. And they became, both of them, his wives.
44 And Saul gave his daughter Michal, David's wife, to Phalti t he son of Laish, who
[was] of Gallim.
****2 Samuel 3: 1 And there was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of
David. But David [became] stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul became weaker
and weaker. 2 And sons were born to David in Hebron . And his first-born [was] Amnon,
[the son of] Ahinoam of Jezreel . 3 And his second was Chileab, of Abigail of Carmel,
the former wife of Nabal . And the third [was] Absalom, the son of Maacah the
daughter of Talmai king of Geshur . 4 And the fourth [was] Adonijah, the son of
Haggith. And the fifth [was] Shephatiah, the son of Abital. 5 And the sixth [was]
Ithream, by Eglah, David's wife . These were born to David in Hebron.
****2 Samuel 6:16 And it happened [as] the ark of the LORD came to the city of David,
Michal, Saul's daughter, looked through a window and saw king David leaping and dancing
before the LORD. And she despised him in her heart. . . . . . 20 And David returned to
bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said,
How glorious was the king of Israel today, who uncovered himself today in the eyes of
the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!
21 And David said to Michal, [It was] before the LORD, who chose me before your
father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over
Israel. And I danced before the LORD. 22 And I will be still lower than this, and will be
base in my own sight. And of the handmaids of whom you have spoken, with them I shall
be had in honor. 23 And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.
[If God made Michal childless because of her error, why didn't God punish David in some
equally significant way, since he had at least six wives by the time of this incident? If
polygyny is sinful, why didn't God punish David instead of Michal, his first wife?]
****2 SAMUEL 7:4 And that night the word of the LORD came to Nathan saying, 5 Go and
tell My servant David, So says the LORD, Shall you build Me a house for My dwelling?
. . . . . . 8 And now so shall you say to My servant David, So says the LORD of hosts: I
took you from the sheepcote, from following the sheep, to be ruler over My people, over
Israel. 9 And I was with you wherever you went, and have cut off all your enemies out of
your sight, and have made you a great name like the name of the great ones in the earth. . .
. . . Also the LORD tells you that He will make you a house. 12 And when your days
[are] fulfilled, and you shall sleep with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you,
who shall come out of your bowels. And I will make his kingdom sure. 13 He shall build a
house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. 14 I will be his
Father, and he shall be My son. If he commits iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of
men, and with the stripes of the sons of men. 15 But My mercy shall not leave him, as I
took [it] from Saul, whom I put away before you. 16 And your house and your kingdom
shall be made sure forever before you. Your throne [shall be] established forever.
>>>>>[If polygyny is a sin like adultery, why did Jehovah confer such a great blessing,
reward and heritage on a man with six wives and numerous concubines?]
**** 2 Sam.12: 7 And Nathan said to David, You [are] the man! So says the LORD
God of Israel, I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of
Saul. 8 And I gave you your master's house and your master's wives into your bosom,
and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah.
Do I have a reading problem, or did God just say that He gave wives (plural) to David?
Why is this giving of wives listed by God among the blessings that He gave to David, if
polygyny is the sin that some say it is?
In yet another attempt to prove that polygyny was/is ungodly and not Biblical, John MacArthur declares in his notes on 2 Sam 12:8 the fllowing:
"There is no evidence that he ever married any of Saul's wives, . . . ."
The following, especially the LXX translations, make it clear that David physically took Saul's widows into his "bosom", into his arms, into his embrace.
The Greek Old Testament, the Septuagint, completed 250 BC
http://septuagint-interlinear-greek-bible.com/intro.htm
LXX 2 Sam 12:8 And I gave to you the house of your master, and the wives of your master into your bosom
http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/nets/edition/
LXX 2 Sam 12:8 I gave you the house of your master and the wives of your master into your bosom
http://www.ecmarsh.com/lxx/Kings%20II/index.htm
LXX 2 Sam 12:8 and I gave thee the house of thy lord, and the wives of thy lord into thy bosom,
The Complete Jewish Bible (D. H. Stern)
2 Sam 12:8 I gave you your master's house and your master's wives to embrace . . . .
NIV 2 Sam 12:8 I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. . .
ESV 2 Sam 12:8 And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms .
HCSB 2 Sam 12:8 I gave your master's house to you and your master's wives into your arms,
Nathan in his God-inspired prophecy prophesied that his "neighbor" would sexually lie with David's "wives" (12:11). Ahithophel did not see them as "wives" but as concubines when he advised Absalom to have sex with them. Absalom followed Ahithophel's advice and "went in to" them to have sex with them before all (2 Sam 16:21,22). in 2 Sam 20:3 we are told that since Absalom had sex with David's concubines/wives, David "did not go in to them" to have marital sex, but put them in seclusion, supported them but had them live as widows, wives who had lost their husband. Obviously this was a significant change in their marital status, and their relationship with David, which clearly indicates that before Absalom "went in to them" sexually, David "went in to them" sexually, receiving them into his "bosom", his "arms" and to "embrace". So much for John MacArthur's interpretation that "There is no evidence that he ever married any of Saul's wives, . . . .".
2 Samuel 12:9 And if that [was] too little, I would have given to you such and such
[things] besides. 9 Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do evil in His
sight? You have stricken Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and have taken his wife [to be]
your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon. 10 And therefore,
the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have
taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife. 11 So says the LORD, Behold, I will
raise up evil against you out of your own house, and I
will take your wives before your eyes and give [them] to your neighbor. And he shall lie
with your wives in the sight of this sun.
**** 2 Sam 16: 21 And Ahithophel said to Absalom, Go in to your father's
concubines, that he left to keep the house. And all Israel shall hear that you are
abhorred by your father. And the hands of all who [are] with you will be strong. 22 And
they spread Absalom a tent on the top of the house, and Absalom went in to his father's
concubines in the sight of all Israel.
****2Sam.20:3 And David came to his house at Jerusalem. And the king took the ten
women, [his] concubines, whom he had left to keep the house, and put them in ward,
and fed them but did not go in to them. And they were shut up till the day of their death,
living in widowhood.
1 Kings 11: 4 For it happened when Solomon was old, his wives turned away his heart
after other gods. And his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as [was] the
heart of David his father. . . . 6 and Solomon did evil in the sight of Jehovah, and did not
[go] fully after the LORD like his father David.
[Why would God say that King David went "fully after the LORD", being blessed and
commended by God, even though he had fallen into adultery and had many wives and
concubines? Why would God say that David's heart was perfect with the Lord his God,
when the Lord knew that David was a practicing polygynist, if polygyny is a sin as some
say? Where do we see God blessing evil doers in their sin? Adultery is a sin and God
exacted a severe punishment on David, so why didn't God punish David for his
polygyny, if it is a sinful as some say?]
1 Chronicles 3:1 And these were the sons of David, who were born to him in Hebron. The
first-born, Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel. The second, Daniel, of Abigail of Carmel . 2
The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur. The
fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith. 3 The fifth, Shephatiah of Abital. The sixth was
Ithream by Eglah his wife . 4 [These] six were born to him in Hebron. And there he
reigned seven years and six months. And he reigned in Jerusalem thirty-three years. 5 And
these were born to him in Jerusalem Shimea, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon, four
of Bathsheba the daughter of Ammiel 6 and Ibhar, and Elishama, and Eliphelet, 7 and
Nogah, and Nepheg, and Japhia, 8 and Elishama, and Eliada, and Eliphelet, nine. 9 [These
were] all the sons of David, besides the sons of the concubines, and Tamar their sister.
>>>>>[ IF POLYGYNY IS THE SIN THAT SOME SAY IT IS, WHERE IS GOD'S
CONDEMNATION OF THE SEVEN WIVES AND TEN CONCUBINES OF KING
DAVID? WHY WOULD GOD REBUKE AND CHASTEN DAVID FOR HIS
ADULTERY WITH BATHSHEBA, AND THEN TURN AND BLESS DAVID IN HIS
MARRIAGE TO BATHSHEEBA AND HIS OTHER WIVES, IF POLYGYNY IS SIN
AS SOME SAY? If you count his first wife, Michael, then he had eight wives when he
died. \f3In these passages you see God calling and recognizing as "wives" Davids
concubines. If that is the way God sees them, only a fool would treat them as less than a
wife (Malachi 2). Malachi 2 makes it pretty clear how God feels about those who break
their covenants with their concubines and wives.
David is a fascinating case. He marries Michal in l Sam. 18. Then, as the anointed future
king of Israel, David took to himself three additional wives in l Sam 25, and one is
recognized by the Spirit for her grace and wisdom. He does this at a time of God's
miraculous intervention and blessing in his life. God neither denounces or condemns him
or his polygyny. In the case of three or four wives you are still dealing with addition,
rather than the multiplying of Deut.
**** DEUT. 17:16 But he shall not multiply
horses to himself. . . . 17 Nor shall he multiply wives to himself, so that his heart does
not turn away. Nor shall he greatly multiply silver and gold to himself.
It is interesting that horses, silver and gold - AS WELL AS WIVES - were not to be
multiplied. I can't believe this was meant to limit the king to ONE HORSE, or ONE
SILVER OR GOLD BAR, even so I can't believe it limits a king to one wife.
In fact in 2 Sam 6, it is Michal who is condemned and punished instead of her
polygamous husband David. By the time he becomes King in Judah he has 6 wives>83
and is being blessed and prospered by God. At the time of the wonderful Covenant with
David in 2 Sam. 7, God specifically blesses and covenants with polygamist David and his
concubines and his seven wives, as part of his house, receive a blessing. God even said "I
gave you . . . your master's wives" >84 ". And Nathan said to David, you are the man!
Thus says Jehovah the God of Israel: I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you
out of the hand of Saul; 8 and I GAVE YOU YOUR MASTER'S HOUSE, AND YOUR
MASTER'S WIVES INTO YOUR BOSOM, and gave you the house of Israel and of
Judah; and if [that] had been too little, I would moreover have given unto you such and
such things."
[Footnotes:>83 (2 Sam. 3); >84a 2Sa 12:7]
At this time God had given him seven wives plus a number of concubines (1 Chronicles
3). God here condemns Davids adultery and murder, but implies His blessing on Davids
polygyny . This implied blessing of his polygyny would have to mean that David, with
concubines and seven wives, had not yet violated the prohibition against a king
multiplying wives to himself. >84b to David in his polygyny. Apparently even
concubines plus seven wives is not "multiplying" wives to oneself. He had about 14
wives and concubines at the end of his life>85. David the polygamist was declared to be
loyal to God>86. God declares that David, the polygamist, fully followed God>87.
[Footnotes:>84b 2Sa 12:7; >85 (1 Chron 3); >86 ( l King 11:4); >87 (l King 11:6)]
In contrast to God's evaluation of David, we have a beloved brother's evaluation that
David was adulterous, unjust, favored some over others, and his sons became killers
because he didn't have the authority deal decisively with his heritage>19. Unless I'm
mistaken, I believe that monogamous Adam and Eve had a similar problem with Cain and
Abel, and monogamous Isaac and Rebekah certainly had their share of "favoritism and
injustice. . . intrigues" in their parenting of Jacob and Esau and Jacob's obtaining the
blessing instead of Esau. Again and again we see that sin and the flesh are the problems,
not polygyny.
[Footnote: >19. Trobisch; MY WIFE MADE ME. . . p.20.]
God conferred the status of wives on David's concubines in 2 Sam. 12:11 as we see how
the prophecy was played out in 2 Sam. 16:21, 22; and 20:3. Again the distinction
between concubines and wives seems to be an issue on man's end, not on God's end where
it seems to be the solemn vow/covenant>20 and not the wedding ceremony>21 that
makes a woman a wife even if society calls her a concubine>88 .
[Footnotes:>.20 See appendix #4.; >.21 See appendix #4; >88 (Ezek. 16; Malachi 2;
Eccles. 5:5-9;and Matt. 1:18-20 where we see the Holy Spirit call Mary and Joseph
husband and wife based on their betrothal/ espousal alone and before the actual wedding
and cohabitation)]
KING SOLOMON
1 Kings 3:1 And Solomon made an alliance by marriage with Pharaoh king of Egypt, and
took Pharaoh's daughter and brought her into the city of David until he finished building
his own house, and the house of the LORD, and the wall around Jerusalem. . . . 3 And
Solomon loved the LORD, walking in the statutes of David his father. Only he sacrificed
and burnt incense in high places. . . . . .
5 In Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream by night. And God said, Ask
what I shall give you! 6 And Solomon said, . . . . 7 And now, O LORD my God, You
have made Your servant king instead of David my father. And I [am] a little child; I do not
know to go out or come in! 8 And Your servant [is] in the midst of Your people whom
You have chosen, a numerous people who cannot be numbered nor counted for multitude.
9 And give to Your servant an understanding heart, to judge Your people, to discern
between good and bad. For who is able to judge this, Your great people? 10 And the word
was good in the eyes of the LORD, that Solomon had asked this thing. 11 And God said
to him, Because you have asked this thing, and have not asked for yourself long life, and
have not asked riches for yourself, nor have asked the life of your enemies, but have asked
for yourself understanding to judge justly, 12 behold, I have done according to your
words. Lo, I have given you a wise and an understanding heart, so that there was none like
you before you, and after you none shall arise like you. 13 And I also have given you that
which you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that there shall not be any among the
kings like you all your days. 14 And if you will walk in My ways, to keep My statutes
and My commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your days.
Ecccles 2:8 I also gathered silver and gold to myself, and the treasure of kings and of the
provinces. I got men singers and women singers for myself, and the delights of the sons of
men, a wife and very many wives.
Song of Solomon 6: 8 There [are] sixty queens, and eighty concubines , and virgins
without number. 9 But My dove, My undefiled is one [alone]. She [is] the [only] one of
her mother. She [is] the choice of her who bore her. The daughters saw [her] and blessed
her; the queens and the concubines saw her, and they praised her.
>>>>>[Isn't this a strange way to punish Solomon for having sixty queens (including
Pharaoh's daughter) and eighty concubines? Why did God heap such great blessings on a
practicer of polygyny on a large scale, if polygyny is the sin that some say it is?
Why did God put in His Book a book about Solomon in his early polygyny, a book
blessed and used mightily by God, a bold and extravagant practicer of polygyny, if
polygyny is the sin some say it is?]
In fact if you accept the Song of Solomon as the story of young Solomon and his
Shulamite wife in a polygamous marriage>34 , you have one of the most beautiful and
positive statements of good will and love between the Shulamite and her co-wives as well
as with the daughters of Jerusalem, many of whom probably also became wives to
Solomon later in life when he went too far and disobeyed God by multiplying wives to
himself>35 . Let's look at the record in the Word.
[Footnotes:>34 (Song of Sol. 6:8-10). >35 (Deut 17:15-17)]
1 KINGS 11:1 And king Solomon loved many foreign women, even the daughter of
Pharaoh, Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, Hittites; 2 of the nations which the
LORD had said to the sons of Israel, You shall not go in to them, and they shall not go in
to you; surely they will turn away your heart after their gods. Solomon clung to these in
love. 3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines. And
his wives turned away his heart. 4 For it happened when Solomon was old, his wives
turned away his heart after other gods. And his heart was not perfect with the LORD his
God, as [was] the heart of David his father. 5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth, the
goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom, the abomination of the Ammonites; 6 and
Solomon did evil in the sight of Jehovah, and did not [go] fully after the LORD like like
his father David. 7 Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh, the abomination of
Moab, in the hill which [is] before Jerusalem, and for Molech, the abomination of the
sons of Ammon. 8 And likewise he did for all his foreign wives, and burned incense and
sacrificed to their gods.
9 And the LORD [was] angry with Solomon because his heart was turned from the
LORD God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice 10 and had commanded him
concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; and he did not keep that
which the LORD commanded. 11 And the LORD said to Solomon, Since this is done by
you, and since you have not kept My covenant and My statutes which I have
commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom from you and will give it to your servant.
12 But I will not do it in your days, for David your father's sake, [but] I will tear it out of
the hand of your son. 13 Only, I will not tear away all the kingdom, [but] I will give one
tribe to your son for David My servant's sake, . . . . .
Ne 13:26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? Yet among many nations
there was no king like him, who was beloved by his God, and God made him king over all
Israel. But women from other lands caused even him to sin.
Ne 13:27 Shall we then listen to you, to do all this great evil, to sin against our God in
living with foreign women?
[If polygynous exceses were Solomon's damning sin, why isn't that stated here? God
plainly rebukes Solomon for disobeying Him by marrying unbelieving aliens,
so why doesn't God also condemn him for practicing polygyny? God plainly condemns
Solomon in his latter years for disobeying Him by multiplying wives and concubines, so
why did God lift, bless, anoint and exalt Solomon in his early polygyny when he had
married Pharaoh's daughter and had numerous wives and concubines?
Solomon's polygyny was sinful first because He disobeyed Gods command against a king
multiplying wives to himself>89; and secondly because he married unbelievers with
whom God had specifically forbidden marriage>90. Too many wives and forbidden wives
both had the same predicted result, that they turned his heart away from God. Solomon
was declared to be disloyal to God in his polygyny>91 while David the polygamist was
declared to be loyal to God>92 . God even declares that polygynist David fully followed
God>93 .
[Footnote: >89 (Deut. 17:15-17); >90 (Nehemiah 13:23) ; >91 (1 Kings 11:1,2,6, 11); >92
( l King 11:4); >93 (l King 11:6)]
THE POLYGYNOUS KINGS AFTER DAVID & SOLOMON
2 Chronicles 11:17 And they made the kingdom of Judah stronger, and made Rehoboam
the son of Solomon strong for three years. For three years they walked in the way of
David and Solomon. 18 And Rehoboam took Mahalath the daughter of Jerimoth the son
of David as a wife for himself, [and] Abihail the daughter of Eliab the son of Jesse, 19
who bore him sons, Jeush, and Shamariah, and Zaham. 20 And after her he took
Maachah the daughter of Absalom, who bore Abijah to him, and Attai, and Ziza, and
Shelomith. 21 And Rehoboam loved Maachah the daughter of Absalom above all his
wives and his concubines (for he took eighteen wives and sixty concubines, and had
twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters). . . . . . And he demanded many wives.
12:1 And it happened when Rehoboam had established the kingdom, and had made
himself strong, he departed from the law of the LORD, and all Israel with him. 2 And it
happened in the fifth year of king Rehoboam, Shishak king of Egypt came up against
Jerusalem, because they had sinned against the LORD. . . . . . 6 And the rulers of Israel
and the king humbled themselves. And they said, The LORD [is] righteous. 7 And when
the LORD saw that they humbled themselves, the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah,
saying, They have humbled themselves. I will not destroy them, but I will give them some
deliverance. . . . . 11 And when the king entered into the house of the LORD, the guard
came and carried them and brought them again into the guardroom. 12 And when he
humbled himself, the wrath of the LORD turned from him so that He would not destroy
[him] altogether. And also things went well in Judah.
[If Rehoboam's polygyny were sin, why didn't God rebuke it and judge him for it, as God
rebuked and judged him for his idolatry and his departure from the law of the Lord?
Where is God's explicit and specific condemnation of Rehoboam's polygyny?]
2 Chronicles 13: 13 But Jeroboam caused an ambush to come around behind them, so that
they were in front of Judah, and the ambush [was] behind them. 14 And Judah turned,
and, behold, the battle [was] before and behind. And they cried to the LORD, and the
priests sounded with the trumpets. 15 And the men of Judah shouted. And it happened
as the men of Judah shouted, God struck Jeroboam and all Israel before Abijah and
Judah. 16 And the sons of Israel fled before Judah. And God delivered them into their
hand. . . . . . 21 And Abijah became mighty, and married fourteen wives, and fathered
twenty-two sons and sixteen daughters. 22 And the rest of the acts of Abijah, and his
ways, and his sayings, [are] written in the inquiry of the prophet Iddo.
1 And Abijah slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city of David.
>>>[If polygyny is unacceptable to God, then why did God intervene to help Abijah and
deliver his enemies into his hand? Does God consistently deliver his sinning people into
the hands of their enemies?]
2Ch 21:12 And a writing came to him from Elijah the prophet, saying, So says the LORD
God of David your father, Because you have not walked in the ways of Jehoshaphat your
father, nor in the ways of Asa king of Judah, 13 but have walked in the way of the kings
of Israel, and have made Judah and the people of Jerusalem to go lusting like the
fornications of the house of Ahab, and also have killed your brothers of your fathers
house ([who were] better than you), 14 behold, the LORD will strike your people with a
great plague, and your sons, and your wives, and all your goods. 15 And you [shall have]
great sickness by disease in your bowels, until your bowels fall out because of the
sickness day by day. 16 And the LORD stirred up the spirit of the Philistines against
Jehoram, and of the Arabians who [were] near the Ethiopians. 17 And they came up into
Judah and broke into it, and carried away all the stuff that was found in the king's house,
and his sons also, and his wives , so that there was not a son left with him except
Ahaziah, the youngest of his sons.
>>>[Why didn't God say one of the reasons He punished this evil king was because of
his polygyny, if it is the sin some say it is?]
2Ch 24: 2 And Joash did the right in the eyes of the LORD all the days of Jehoiada the
priest. 3 And Jehoiada took two wives for him, and he fathered sons and daughters. . . . .
. . 20 And the Spirit of God came on Zechariah the son of Jehoiada the priest, who stood
above the people and said to them, So says God, Why do you transgress the
commandments of the LORD so that you cannot be blessed? Because you have forsaken
the LORD, He has also forsaken you. . . . . . 24 For the army of the Syrians came with a
small company of men, and the LORD delivered a very great army into their hand,
because they had forsaken the God of the fathers. And they executed judgment against
Joash. 25 And when they had departed from him (for they left him in great diseases), his
own servants conspired against him for the blood of the sons of Jehoiada the priest, and
killed him on his bed, and he died. And they buried him in the city of David, but they did
not bury him in the tombs of the kings.
>>>[Joash's sins and the reason for his punishment are clearly stated, right? Then where
is God's explicit and specific denunciation of his polygyny?]
CONCUBINE ESTHER BECOMES POLYGYNOUS QUEEN ESTHER, ENABLED
BY GOD TO SAVE ISRAEL
Esther 1: 1 And it happened in the days of Ahasuerus (this [is] the Ahasuerus who
reigned from India even to Ethiopia, [over] a hundred and twenty-seven provinces). 2 in
those days, when king Ahasuerus sat on the throne of his kingdom in Shushan the palace,
Es 2:5 In Shushan the palace there was a certain Jew whose name [was] Mordecai, the
son of Jair, the son of Shimei, the son of Kish, a Benjamite 6 who had been carried away
from Jerusalem with the captivity which had been carried away with Jeconiah king of
Judah, whom Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon had carried away. 7 And he brought up
Hadassah, that [is], Esther, his uncle's daughter. For she had neither father nor mother,
and the young woman [was] fair and beautiful, whom Mordecai, when her father and
mother were dead, took for his own daughter. 8 And it happened when the king's
command and his order was heard, and when many young women had been gathered to
Shushan the palace, into the hand of Hegai, Esther was also brought to the king's house,
into the hand of Hegai, keeper of the women. 9 And the young woman pleased him, and
she received kindness from him. And he quickly gave to her purifiers and her portion.
And seven young women [who were] fit to be given her, out of the king's house. And he
moved her and her servant women to the best place in the house of the women. 12 And
when the turn of each young woman had come to go in to king Ahasuerus, after she had
been purified twelve months, according to the law of the women (for so the days of their
anointing were done, six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odors, and
with the perfumes of the women). 13 And in this way the young woman came to the
king. Whatever she desired was given her to go with her out of the house of the women to
the king's house. 14 She went in the evening, and on the next day she returned to the
second house of the women, into the hand of Shaashgaz, the king's officer who kept the
concubines. She did not come in to the king any more, unless the king delighted in her,
and she was called by name. 15 And when the turn of Esther, the daughter of Abihail the
uncle of Mordecai who had taken her for his daughter, had come to go in to the king, she
asked nothing but what was chosen by Hegai the king's officer, the keeper of the women.
And Esther had favor in the sight of all who looked on her. 16 And Esther was taken to
king Ahasuerus into his royal house in the tenth month, which [is] the month Tebeth, in
the seventh year of his reign. 17 And the king loved Esther above all the women, and
she rose in grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins. And he set the royal
crown on her head, and made her queen instead of Vashti. 18 And the king made a great
feast to all his princes and his servants, Esther's feast. . . . . 20 Esther had not yet revealed
her kindred nor her people, as Mordecai had commanded her. For Esther obeyed the
command of Mordecai as she did when she was brought up with him.
>>>[If concubines are just harlots, then why did godly Mordecai allow Esther to become
one of the king's many concubines? If she were so careful to obey godly Mordecai, why
did she obey him when he told her to become one of the king's concubines, if that is such
an evil thing as some say?]
4: 7 And Mordecai told him of all that had happened to him, and of the sum of the silver
which Haman had promised to pay to the king's treasuries for the Jews in order to
destroy them. 8 Also he gave him the copy of the writing of the decree which [was] given
at Shushan in order to destroy them, to show [it] to Esther and to declare it to her, and to
command her that she should go in to the king to make supplication to him, and to seek
help for her people. 9 And Hatach came and told Esther the words of Mordecai. 10 Again
Esther spoke to Hatach, and gave him command to Mordecai. 11 And the king's servants
and the people of the king's provinces know that whoever, whether man or woman, shall
come to the king into the inner court, who is not called, [there is] one law of his,
execution, except such to whom the king shall hold out the golden scepter so that he may
live. But I have not been called to come in to the king these thirty days. 12 And they told
Mordecai Esther's words. 13 And Mordecai commanded them to answer Esther, Do not
think within yourself that you shall escape in the king's house more than all the Jews. 14
For if you are completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise to the Jews
from another place, but you and your father's house shall be destroyed. And who knows
whether you have come to the kingdom for a time like this? 15 And Esther said to return
to Mordecai [this answer], 16 Go, gather all the Jews who are present in Shushan, and
fast for me, and do not eat nor drink three days, night or day. My maidservants and I will
also fast in the same way. And so I will go in to the king, which [is] not according to the
law. And if I perish, I perish. 17 And Mordecai passed over and did according to all that
Esther had commanded him.
9: 29 And Esther the queen, the daughter of Abihail, and Mordecai the Jew, wrote with all
authority to confirm this second letter of Purim. 30 And he sent the letters to all the
Jews, to the hundred and twenty-seven provinces of the kingdom of Ahasuerus, [with]
words of peace and truth, 31 in order to confirm these days of Purim in their [set] times,
according as Mordecai the Jew and Esther the queen had ordered them, and as they had
decreed for themselves and for their seed the matters of the fastings and of their cry. 32
And the order of Esther confirmed these matters of Purim. And it was written in the
book.
>>>[If concubines and polygyny were such a disgusting thing to (and so unpopular with)
Israelis, then why did they, and why do they, honor Esther and Mordecai so highly in the
celebration of Purim?}
POLYGYNY, A MARITAL SOLUTION IN TIMES OF WAR.
Isaiah 3: 25 Your men shall fall by the sword, and your mighty in the war. 26 And her
gates shall lament and mourn; and she shall sit deserted on the ground.
4:1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, we will eat our
own bread and wear our own clothing; only let us be called by your name, to take away
our shame.
[Does God anywhere explicitly and specifically denounce this marital remedy for such a
shortage of men?]
FOOLISH KING BELSHAZZAR
Da 5:2 When tasting the wine, Belshazzar commanded to bring the golden and silver
vessels which his father Nebuchadnezzar had taken out of the temple in Jerusalem, that
the king and his rulers, his wives and his concubines , might drink from them. 3 Then
they brought the golden vessels that were taken out of the temple of the house of God in
Jerusalem. And the king, and his rulers, his wives, and his concubines, drank in them. . . .
. . . 23 But you have lifted up yourself against the Lord of heaven. And they have brought
the vessels of His house before you; and you, and your lords, your wives, and your
concubines , have drunk wine from them. And you have praised the gods of silver, and
gold, or bronze, iron, wood, and stone, which do not see, nor hear, nor know. And you
have not glorified the God in whose hand [is] your breath and all your ways.
>>>[In listing the sins of Belshazzar, why didn't God include his polygyny and
concubines, if it is comparable sin as some say it is?]
JEHOVAH AS THE POLYGYNOUS HUSBAND OF TWO WIVES
Ezekiel 23: 1 The word of the LORD came again to me, 2 Son of man, there were two
women, the daughters of one mother. 3 And they fornicated in Egypt; they whored in
their youth, their breasts were handled, and there their virgin nipples were worked. 4 And
their names [were] Oholah, the oldest, and Oholibah, her sister. And they were Mine, and
they bore sons and daughters. And their names: Samaria [is] Oholah, and Jerusalem [is]
Oholibah. 5 And Oholah whored under Me. And she lusted after her lovers, to [her]
Assyrian neighbors, . . . . . . . . 35 So the Lord Jehovah says this: Because you have
forgotten Me and cast Me behind your back, therefore bear also your wickedness and
your adulteries.
36 And the LORD said to me: Son of man, will you judge Oholah and Oholibah, and
declare to them their abominations, 37 that they have committed adultery , and blood [is]
on their hands?
Never by God or His prophets is polygyny denounced, condemned or grouped with sins
or carnal expressions of the flesh. God Himself portrays Himself as a monogynist in
Ezekiel 16 and then as polygynist in Ezekiel 23. It appears He has no problem with the
marriage styles he initiated, legislated and in which He blessed His people. So who are we
to condemn as sin that which God never condemns as sin? Why would we want to do
such a thing? Yes it is against the law in some countries and we know that God wants us
to obey the laws of the land as long as it does not violate His Law. So we should not
practice formal and public polygyny in those lands in obedience to Romans 13 etc. So
why not simply say that instead of teaching as doctrine the tradition of religious men, i.e.
that polygyny is sinful?
V. MARRIAGE, POLYGYNY, JESUS AND THE APOSTLES
SINCE JESUS IS JEHOVAH, HOW DID HE FEEL ABOUT THE LAW HE GAVE
TO MOSES, WITH ALL ITS PROVISIONS FOR AND REGULATIONS OF
POLYGYNY?
MATT. 5:17 Do not think that I have come to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I have
not come to destroy but to fulfill. 18 For truly I say to you, Till the heaven and the earth
pass away, not one jot or one tittle shall in any way pass from the law until all is fulfilled.
19 Therefore whoever shall break one of these commandments, the least, and shall teach
men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of Heaven. But whoever shall do and
teach [them], the same shall be called great in the kingdom of Heaven.
DO YOU MEAN THAT JEHOVAH AS JESUS OBSERVED THE LAW OF MOSES,
THE LAW THAT INCLUDED POLYGYNY?
**Matt. 8: 4 And Jesus said to him, See that you tell no one; but go, show yourself to the
priest. And offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony to them.;
**12: 10 And behold, a man having [a] withered hand. And they asked Him, saying, Is it
lawful to heal on the sabbaths? This so that they might accuse Him. 11 And He said to
them, What man among you will be, who will have one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on
the sabbaths, will he not lay hold on it and lift [it] out? 12 How much better is a man then
than a sheep? Therefore it is lawful to do well on the sabbath days. 13 Then He said to
the man, Stretch out your hand. And he stretched [it] out, and it was restored whole like
the other.
**13:53 And it happened when Jesus finished these parables, He departed from there. 54
And when He had come into His own country, He taught them in their synagogue, so
much so that they were astonished and said, From where does this [man have] this
wisdom and these mighty works?
**15: 3 But He answered and said to them, Why do you also transgress the
commandment of God by your tradition? 4 For God commanded, saying, "Honor your
father and mother"; and, "He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him die by death." 5
But you say, Whoever says to [his] father or mother, Whatever you would gain from me,
[It is] a gift to God; 6 and in no way he honors his father or his mother. And you voided
the commandment of God by your tradition . 7 Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of
you, saying, 8 "This people draws near to Me with their mouth, and honors Me with
[their] lips, but their heart is far from Me. 9 But in vain they worship Me, teaching [for]
doctrines [the] commandments of men.". . . . . . .
22 And behold, a woman of Canaan coming out of these borders cried to Him, saying,
Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is grievously vexed with a
demon. 23 But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and begged Him,
saying, Send her away, for she cries after us. 24 But He answered and said, I am not sent
except to the lost sheep of [the] house of Israel. 25 Then she came and worshiped Him,
saying, Lord, help me! 26 But He answered and said, It is not good to take the children's
bread and to throw [it] to dogs. 27 And she said, True, O Lord; but even the little dogs eat
of the crumbs which fall from their masters' tables. 28 Then Jesus answered and said to
her, O woman, great [is] your faith! So be it to you even as you wish. And her daughter
was healed from that very hour.
**19: 17 And He said to him, Why do you call Me good? [There is] none good but one,
that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments. 18 He said to
Him, Which? Jesus said, You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall
not steal, you shall not bear false witness, 19 honor your father and mother, and, you
shall love your neighbor as yourself.
** 21:12 And Jesus went into the temple of God and cast out all those who sold and
bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money-changers, and the seats of
those who sold doves. 13 And He said to them, It is written, "My house shall be called
the house of prayer"; but you have made it a den of thieves. 14 And the blind and the
lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them.
** 22:34 But hearing that He had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees were gathered
together. 35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked, tempting Him and saying, 36 Master,
which [is] the great commandment in the Law ? 37 Jesus said to him, You shall love the
Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38
This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second [is] like it, You shall love
your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the
Prophets.
** Matt. 26: 18 And He said, Go into the city to such a man, and say to him, The Master
said, My time is at hand. I will keep the Passover at your house with My disciples. 19
And the disciples did as Jesus had appointed them. And they made the passover ready.
20 And when evening had come, He sat down with the Twelve. . . . .
59 And the chief priests and the elders and all the sanhedrin sought false witness against
Jesus , in order to put Him to death. 60 But they found none; yea, though many false
witnesses came, they found none.
>>>[Doesn't this mean that He had an impeccable record as a citizen of Israel, as a keeper
of the Sinai Law? Wouldn't they easily have had a case against Jesus if He had been
disobedient to His Sinai Law?]
WHAT DID JESUS TELL HIS JEWISH FOLLOWERS TO DO ABOUT THE LAW OF
MOSES, THE LAW THAT INCLUDED POLYGYNY?
Matthew 23: 1 Then Jesus spoke to the crowd and to His disciples, 2 saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. 3 Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, observe and do. But do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do.Some might say all or most of those Old Testament passages on marriage and morality were for the nation Israel under the Law of Moses and not for Jesus' church under the Law of LOVE in Christ. Bible history indicates quite clearly that Jesus came not to destroy the Law but to fulfill it>96 . Jesus showed that He was observing all the Law of
Moses as an adult when He said that whoever does the commandments and teaches others to do the Law of Moses "shall be called great in the kingdom of Heaven">~ . Over and over again in the Gospels you see Jesus obeying the Law of Moses and telling His followers to obey it>97 . Matt. 23:3, 4, and 23 are the strongest statements of this expectation that His followers were to be obeying the marriage and morality laws of Moses when He was still visibly with them, and Jesus made it soon before His death.
[Footnotes:>96 (Matt. 5:17,18); >~ (Matt. 5:19); >97 (Matt. 8:4; 12:11,12; 13:54; 15:3-6, 22-26; 17:24, 27; 19:17-19; 21:12,13; 22:34-40; 23:3,4,23; 26:18,19; 26:63,64; etc.)]
IF JESUS TOLD HIS FOLLOWERS TO BOTH KEEP THE LAW OF MOSES AND
THE TEACHINGS OF THEIR RELIGIOUS LEADERS, WHY DON'T WE NON-
JEWS KEEP THE LAW OF MOSES TODAY, INCLUDING THOSE LAWS ABOUT
POLYGYNY?
Acts 15: 4 And arriving in Jerusalem, they were received by the church, and [by] the apostles and elders. And [they] declared all things that God had done with them. 5 But some of those from the sect of the Pharisees, having believed, rose up, saying, It was necessary to circumcise them and to command [them] to keep the law of Moses.. . . . . 7 And after much disputing, Peter rose up and said to them, Men, brothers, you recognize that from ancient days God chose among us [that] through my mouth the nations [should] hear the word of the gospel, and believe. 8 And God, who knows the hearts, bore them witness, giving them the Holy Spirit even as to us. 9 And He put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith. 10 Now therefore why do you tempt God by putting a yoke on the neck of the disciples, a yoke which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear? 11 But we believe that through the grace of [the] Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved, according to which manner they also believed. . . . . 22
Then it pleased the apostles and elders, with the whole church, to send chosen men from them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas; Judas, whose last name was Barsabas; and Silas, chief men among the brothers. 23 And they wrote these things by their hand: The apostles and elders and brothers [send] greeting to the brothers, from [the] nations in Antioch and Syria and Cilicia. 24 Because we have heard that certain ones who went out from us have troubled you with words, unsettling your souls, saying, Be circumcised and keep the law! (to whom we gave no such command); 25 it seemed [good] to us, being assembled with one accord, to send chosen men to you with our beloved Barnabas and Paul, 26 men who have given up their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 27 Therefore we have sent Judas and Silas, who will also announce [to you] the same things by word. 28 For it seemed [good] to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay on you no greater burden than these necessary things: 29 that you abstain from meats offered to idols, and
[from] blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication; from which, if you keep yourselves, you shall do well. Be prospered. 30 Then indeed they being let go, they came to Antioch. And gathering the multitude, [they] delivered the letter. 31 And when they had read [it], they rejoiced at the comfort.
WHY THIS DOUBLE STANDARD IN THE BOOKS OF ACTS?
Consider Hebrews 8, especially the Greek of verse 13:
In that he says, A new [covenant], he has made the
first [covenant] old. Now that which is becoming
obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away.
Consider The Greek of 2 Cor. 3:7,11:
. . . the ministration of death, written [and] engraved
in stones, was glorious . . . How shall not the
ministration of the Spirit be more glorious? . . . For if
what is passing away [was] glorious, much more that
which is reamaining [is] glorious..
These passages show there was a period of transition (is becoming obsolete..growing old..is ready to vanish..is passing away) from the Sinai Law of Moses to the Calvary Law of LOVE in Christ. The book of Acts is full of the apostles keeping the Sinai Law of Moses after Pentecost. You see them worshipping in the Temple regularly>98 , Peter refuses to socialize with Gentiles according to the Sinai Law>99 , Peter refuses to eat the
animals classified as unclean in the Sinai Law>1 , Paul circumcises Timothy, Paul keeps the Law's feasts>2 , Paul recognizes the authority of the Chief Priest, the believing Gentiles are released from the Sinai Law of Moses while the believing Jews are not released >3 .
[Footnotes:>98 (Acts 4, 12, 15, 21); >99 (Acts 10, 11, Gal. 1 & 2); >1 (Acts 10 & 11); >2 (Acts 21); >3 (Galatians, Acts 15 and see Acts 10; 11:8, 23; 15:5; 16:3; 18:18, 21;21:18-25; 24:18)]
DO YOU REALLY THINK THE CHURCH WAS DIVIDED IN THE BOOK OF
ACTS, WITH ONLY THE BELIEVING JEWS KEEPING LAW?
***Acts 10: 9 On the next day, as these went on [the] road, and drawing near the city, Peter went up on the housetop to pray, about [the] sixth hour. 10 And he became very hungry and desired to eat. But while they made ready, an ecstasy fell on him. 11 And he saw the heaven opened and a certain vessel like a sheet coming down to him, being bound at the four corners and let down to the earth; 12 in which were all the four-footed animals of the
earth, and the wild beasts, and the reptiles, and the birds of the heaven. 13 And a voice came to him, saying, Rise, Peter! Kill and eat! 14 But Peter said, Not so, Lord, for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean. 15 And the voice [spoke] to him again the second [time], What God has made clean, you do not call common. 16 This happened three [times], and the vessel was received up again into the heaven. 17 And while Peter
doubted within himself what the vision which he had seen might be, even behold, the men who were sent from Cornelius had asked for Simon's house and stood on the porch. 18 And they called and asked if Simon whose last name is Peter was staying there.19 And [while] Peter thought on the vision, the Spirit said to him, Behold, three men are looking for you. 20 Therefore arise and go down and go with them without doubting, for I have sent them. . . . . . . 26 But Peter took him up, saying, Stand up! I also am a man myself. 27 And as he talked with him, he went in and found many who had come
together. 28 And he said to them, You know that it is an unlawful thing for a man, a Jew to keep company with or to come near to one of another nation. But God has shown me not to call any man common or unclean.
***Galatians 2: 11 But when Peter came to Antioch, I opposed [him] to his face, because he was to be blamed. 12 For before some came from James, he ate with the nations/Gentiles. But when they came, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing those of the circumcision. 1 3 And the rest of the Jews also dissembled with him, so as even Barnabas was led away with their dissembling. 14 But when I saw that they did not walk uprightly with the truth
of the gospel, I said to Peter before all, If you, being a Jew, live as a Gentile, and not as the Jews, why do you compel [the] nations/Gentile to judaize?
***Acts 16: 3 Paul wanted him to go with him, and taking [him he] circumcised him , because of the Jews who were in those places; for they all knew that his father was a Greek. 4 And as they passed through the cities, they delivered to them the commandments to keep, th e ones that were ordained by the apostles and elders in Jerusalem.
***Acts 18:18 And Paul having remained many days more, taking leave of the brothers, he sailed from there into Syria. And Priscilla and Aquila were with him. And Paul had shorn his head in Cenchrea, for he had a vow. 19 And he came to Ephesus and left them there. But he himself entered into the synagogue and reasoned with the Jews. 20 And they asking [him] to stay a longer time with them, he did not consent 21 but took leave of them, saying, I must by all means keep this feast that is coming in Jerusalem , but I will return again to you, God willing. And he sailed from Ephesus.
***Acts 21:18 And on the next [day] Paul went with us to James. And all the elders were
present. 19 And having greeted them, he related one by one what things God had done
among the nations by his ministry. 20 And hearing, they glorified the Lord, and said to
him, You see, brother, how many thousands of Jews there are who believe, and they are
all zealous of the law. 21 And they are informed concerning you, that you teach all the
Jews who are among the nations to forsake Moses, saying that they ought not to
circumcise [their] children, nor to walk after the customs. 22 What is it therefore? At all
events a multitude will come together, for they will hear that you have come. 23
Therefore do this, what we say to you: We have four men who have a vow on themselves;
24 taking them, be purified with them , and be at expense for them, so that they may
shave [their] heads. And all may know that what they have been told about you is
nothing, but you yourself also walk orderly and keep the Law. 25 And as to the nations
who believe, we joined in writing, judging them to observe no such things, except only
that they keep themselves from both idol sacrifice, and blood, and a thing strangled, and
[from] fornication. 26 Then taking the men on the next day, being purified with them,
Paul went into the temple, declaring the fulfillment of the days of the purification,
until an offering should be offered for each of them.
[ Doesn't this mean that the marriage and morality teachings
of 1 Thess. 4 ; Romans 7; 1 Corinthians 5, 6 and 7, which
were written before the time of Acts 21:16 while Paul
and the believing Jews, including the apostles, were
still obeying and teaching the marriage and morality
laws of the Law of Moses, discussed at length above
including polygyny ? Doesn't that mean that all of their terms and definitions were in harmony and accord with the Law of Moses, which the apostles were still keeping since they were believing Jews? Isn't it amazing that when God made up and gave all the exhaustive lists of sins, both in the Sinai Law and in the New Testament, He never included polygyny? If He made sure to condemn sodomy, pederastery, homosexuality, lesbianism, incest, adultery and fornication, then why didn't He also make sure to condemn polygyny, if it is the sin that some say it is?] So we see Paul, the Apostle of Grace to we non-Jews, purify himself with four other Christian Jews under a vow, pay the expenses of their being under the vow including the shaving of their heads, and have an offering offered for them all so that he could show the believing Jews that he walked orderly, keeping the Sinai Law and its customs and telling the believing Jews to circumcize their children and walk in Moses' customs. These
customs of Moses included the laws given to Moses regulating and recognizing polygyny. So the apostles and believing Jews were still keeping the Law, not for salvation, but to obey Jesus in Mat. 23:1-3, and still they do not condemn or reject the polygyny being practiced all around them by both Jews and Romans
WHY DON'T THE BELIEVING GENTILES/NONJEWS OF TODAY STILL KEEP THE LAW OF MOSES, WITH ITS PROVISIONS FOR POLYGYNY?
***AB Acts 15:13When they had finished talking, James replied, Brethren, listen to me 14Simeon [Peter] has rehearsed how God first visited the Gentiles, to take out of them a people [to bear and honor] His name. 15And with this the predictions of the prophets agree, as it is written, 16After this I will come back, and will rebuild the house of David, which has fallen; I will rebuild its [very] ruins, and I will set it up again, 17So that the rest of men may seek the Lord, and all the Gentiles upon whom My name has been invoked, 18Says the Lord, Who has been making these things known from the beginning of the world. 19Therefore it is my opinion that we should not put obstacles in the way of and annoy and disturb those of the Gentiles who turn to God, 20But we should send word to them in writing to abstain from and avoid anything that has been polluted by being offered to idols, and all sexual impurity, and [eating meat of animals] that have been strangled, and [tasting of] blood. 21For from ancient generations Moses has had his preachers in every town, for he is read [aloud] every Sabbath in the synagogues. 22Then the apostles and the elders, together with the whole church, resolved to select men from among their number and send them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas. They chose Judas called Barsabbas, and Silas, [both] leading men among the brethren, and sent them. 23With [them they sent] the following letter: The brethren, both the apostles and the elders, to the brethren who are of the Gentiles in Antioch and Syria and Cilicia, greetings: 24As we have heard that some persons from our number have disturbed you with their teaching, unsettling your minds and throwing you into confusion, although we gave them no express orders or instructions [on the points in question], 25It has been resolved by us in assembly to select men and send them [as messengers] to you with our beloved Barnabas and Paul, 26Men who have hazarded their lives for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ. 27So we have sent Judas and Silas, who themselves will bring you the same message by word of mouth. 28For it has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to lay upon you any greater burden than these indispensable requirements: 29That you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols and from [tasting] blood and from [eating the meat of animals] that have been strangled and from sexual impurity. If you keep yourselves from these things, you will do well. Farewell [be strong]! . . . . . . . . . 21:19After saluting them, Paul gave a detailed account of the things God had done among the Gentiles through his ministry. 20And upon hearing it, they adored and exalted and praised and thanked God. And they said to [Paul], You see, brother, how many thousands of believers there are among the Jews, and all of them are enthusiastic upholders of the [Mosaic] Law. 21Now they have been informed about you that you continually teach all the Jews who live among the Gentiles to turn back from and forsake Moses, advising them not to circumcise their children or pay any attention to the observance of the [Mosaic] customs. 22What then [is best that] should be done? A multitude will come together, for they will surely hear that you have arrived. 23Therefore do just what we tell you. With us are four men who have taken a vow upon themselves. 24Take these men and purify yourself along with them and pay their expenses [for the temple offering], so that they may have their heads shaved. Thus everybody will know that there is no truth in what they have been told about you, but that you yourself walk in observance of the Law. 25But with regard to the Gentiles who have believed (adhered to, trusted in, and relied on Christ), we have sent them a letter with our decision that they should keep themselves free from anything that has been sacrificed to idols and from [tasting] blood and [eating the meat of animals] which have been strangled and from all impurity and sexual immorality.
In fact, it is not until after Acts 22 that the Spirit has Paul confirm in writing the confirmation of this Spirit led decision of the Apostles by writing the following about the uncircumcised GENTILES, those believers who are not Jewish:
Keys2SuccessfulBiblicalPoly - Improved
REVISED: Some Anthropological and Biblical Thoughts on Biblical
Christian Polygyny/polygamy. Some Keys to Successful Biblical Polygyny
COPYRIGHT © October 25, 2003, revised 07/02/08; 09/20/09 All rights reserved.
by L. Tyler
P.O.Box 620763, San Diego, CA 92162-0763
This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so
inclined AS LONG AS IT IS NOT CHANGED.
In Memory of Joy Lynn Risker and Carol Lynn McIntyre
Please note that I propose to show you keys to successful "Biblical" polygyny, not just successful polygyny. This document is most helpful if used along with my document "Keys To Loving Unity In Poly" where many basic and practical principles are covered for those who have a
"born again in the Spirit and Jesus" relationship with God. Here I will just deal with the basic principles for experiencing godly success in your Christian polygyny. The Christian polygynist needs to believe, recognize and accept the fact that on his/her own and by his/her own efforts he/she is completely unable to successfully and daily live the life of a Christian polygynist that Jesus instructs them to live.
The person who has believed Jesus and what Jesus says in the Bible, and has called on Him to save them from his/her basic incompatability with God, The Most High Father, has called on Jesus to save her/him from the penalty, power and presence of all that is ungodly in her/ his life. Being adopted by the Father by Jesus, the believer has received the Holy Spirit who enters the believer and lives the Life of Jesus in the believer as the believer learns to yield to the Spirit. The believer is not Holy Spirit possessed, but Spirit secured and Spirit indwelt, with the Spirit able, ready and willing to work and will in the believer the work and will of God, as the enabled believer turns over to Jesus her/his body, soul and spirit to be used and worked by God's Spirit to do the work and will of God. It is a learning process, this yielding to the Spirit, and to our own hurt and loss we so often take back into our own hands the reins of our life, getting in Jesus way and to often messing up His work in and through us. Our hope and confidence is that He who began the good work in us will complete it in us before we see Jesus again face to face.
Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Colossians 1:22
But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—
Jude 1:24
[ Doxology ] To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—
Now we know that naturally on our own our lives and our polygyny will be characterized by sexual immorality, impurity, indecency, idolatry, sorcery, drug abuse, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, bad temper, selfishness, divisions, dissensions, party spirit, factions, sects with divisive opinions, heresies, envy, drunkenness, carousing, vainglory, self-conceit, competitiveness, challenging and provoking and irritating to one another.. (Gal 5:19-21). When Christ comes to
Live in us, His Spirit produces "fruit", the good works to which Jesus has called His own children/disciples. He Lives in us by His Spirit and since it is His Life, He is the One who has to Live it in us, producing His fruit in us. The "fruit" He works and wills in us is gentle, kind, patient, humble, respectful, well behaved, forgiving, enduring, optimistic, compassionate and hopeful Love; joy, gladness, peace, an even temper, forbearance, goodness, benevolence, faithfulness, meekness, humility, self-control, self-restraint and continence. (Gal 5:22-26)
It is His Life and He is the only One who can Live it in you. Here are key passages that show this principle:
***" [Jesus said] 1 I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser . . . 4 Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, NEITHER CAN YOU BEAR FRUIT UNLESS YOU ABIDE IN ME. 5 I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, APART FROM ME [cut off from vital union with Me] YOU CAN DO NOTHING [good and of eternal value before God]. John 15
***"13. [Not relying on your own strength] for IT IS GOD Who is all the while effectually AT WORK IN YOU [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight." Phil 2
***" 20 I have been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; IT IS NO LONGER I WHO LIVE, BUT CHRIST (THE MESSIAH) IS LIVING IN ME; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me" Gal 2 AB
***"8 For it is by free grace (God's unmerited kindness) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God; 9 Not because of works [not the fulfillment of the Law's demands], lest any man should boast. [It is not the result of what anyone can possibly do, so no one can pride himself in it or take glory to himself.] 10 For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [God working and willing in us to take paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [God living, working and willing
in us the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]." Eph 2 from AB
***"20 Now MAY THE GOD OF PEACE [Who is the Author and the Giver of
peace], . . . 21 STRENGTHEN (COMPLETE, PERFECT) AND MAKE YOU WHAT YOU OUGHT TO BE AND EQUIP YOU WITH EVERYTHING GOOD THAT YOU MAY CARRY OUT HIS WILL; [WHILE HE HIMSELF] WORKS IN YOU AND ACCOMPLISHES THAT WHICH IS PLEASING IN HIS SIGHT, through Jesus Christ (the Messiah); to Whom be the glory forever and ever (to the ages of the ages). Amen (so be
it).." Heb 13
Every family and society practicing polygyny must overcome the problem of how the co-wives get along, and the problem of how the half-siblings get along. Social Anthropologist Paul Bohannan Ph.D declares that the "most successful instances are those in which the content of both sets of relationships is firmly structured and where only a minimum is left for the individuals playing the roles to work out on a personal basis. A satisfactory structural relationship to fall back on if the personal relationship fails seems to be vital.” <SA p. 110>
Jesus is the primary creator and sustainer of the structural relationship in a godly marriage, and He works and wills His work and will in and through the godly husband, who is given the responsibility of leading, and in and through the godly wife, who is given the responsibility of following and supporting. Jesus has established the basic content of the marital and parental relationships. In the Biblical context, the husband leads and teaches the family, having no right or authority to make the wife submit, while it becomes the responsibility of the wife to examine her husband’s lead and teaching to see if it is in line with the Word of her King Jesus, and then if it is, her part is to willingly and voluntarily submit herself to and follow his lead, he being one of the authorities He has placed over her (Rom 13:1-5; Lk 22:20-30; 1 Pet 3 and 5; Ephes 5; 1Thess 5:21; Ac 17:11). The child's responsibility is very much like that of the wife/mother. Without these partnerships in the marital structure and content Jesus has provided, the success and well being of a godly and Biblical polygynous family is doomed to frustration or failure or both.
Marriage in and of itself is not a godly solution. It is a given that vices and bad behavior can make any marital relationship bad/worse, while virtue and good behavior can make any marital relationship good/better. A marriage characterized by "love, joy, peace, unselfish generosity, patience towards others, kindness, benevolence, good faith, meekness, self-restraint" will be successful and a blessing to those in it and those who see it, whether it be polygynous or monogynous. A marriage characterized by “extra-marital sex, favoritism, partiality, unkindness, impatience, impurity, indecency, idol-worship, sorcery, drug abuse, enmity, strife, jealousy, outbursts of passion, intrigues, dissensions, factions, envyings, hard drinking, riotous feasting” [Gal 5] and bitter selfishness is doomed or Hellish whether it be monogynous or polygynous. Since these are the natural behaviors of humans, it is no wonder that so many marriages, monogynous or polygynous, are Hellish or miserably doomed. A human marriage needs to be redeemed and transformed by and in Jesus as much as the people who are in it, if it is to characterized by kind, compassionate and unselfish cherishing Love.
Jesus declares that He who is Love, Truth, Light and Life can Live that Life of "love, joy, peace, patience towards others, kindness, benevolence, good faith, meekness, self-restraint" [Gal. 5], impartiality and generous unselfishness in any person or marriage that is willing to give up their own life and accept His Life in their lives and marriages. The good news is that Jesus, who is Eternal Life, offers to Live His Life through and in anyone who comes to Him relying on and trusting in Him alone to make him/her fit to see and live with God the Father, the Almighty Most High Consuming Fire (Deut 4:24; Heb 12:28,29, in Heaven and eternity. He can do so because He is God, who was revealed in a human body and He suffered the death penalty so that all our sin and failures, which are consumed when exposed to He who is the Almighty Consuming Fire, may be forgiven justly and removed. It is an issue of compatability and incompata-bility, seen well in the experience of Shedrak, Meshak and Abednego in the Book of Daniel. The three were declared righteous by faith so when they were cast into the fire, they had been made compatible with the fire and were unhurt. The soldiers that threw them into the fire, having no faith in Jehovah, were incompa-tible with the fire and were consumed by the fire. We need to be made compatible with Him who is the Almighty Consuming Fire, and Jesus is the only One who can make us acceptable to and compatible with the Father..
“Even in societies in which polygyny is a working part of the social structure,” the marriage of the polygynous wife usually is not a pleasant one. As with the Way to the Father through Jesus, many are involved but only a few find the way to have a pleasant polygynous experience, even though Jomo Kenyata maintains that there are quite a few among the Gikuyu of his Kenya who have a pleasant polygynous experience< see 3 & 4>. In primitive and tribal societies the wife has far fewer rights and privileges than men, especially husbands. Even though the polygynous husband must share himself and his things, the wife lands up having to share and give up even more. Whenever the husband is with one of the other co-wives, she knows that SHE ISN’T WITH HIM, and that while she has to go without marital intimacy during that time, the husband is getting a whole bunch more than she is getting. The natural wife will respond to all of this naturally, with bitterness, resentment, anger and aggravated selfishness. The burden on the godly Christian husband here is for him to live above and beyond his earthly culture and behave as He is, a citizen of the City and Kingdom of God, who has been renewed to live in the Way of Jesus, to be kind, impartial, unbiased, equitable, fair and just in his relationships with his wives, lest his prayers be hindered (1 Peter 3:7), or he become weak, sick or dying (1 Cor 11:30-32). I believe that is impossible for the natural man to live and experience godly polygyny without Jesus.
“Even in societies in which polygyny is a working part of the social structure,” the marriage of the polygynous husband usually is not a pleasant one. If one wife can make life miserable for a husband, two or more wives can combine their efforts to make life Hell on earth for such a husband. In primitive and tribal societies this is the price a man may have to pay to give birth to and raise his own “social security” for the last part of his life, looking to his children to
support and care for him in his old age.<SA p. 108> In today’s reality one co-wife’s infidelity can introduce STD death into the family, so the wise husband’s need to diligently meet his ladies’ needs becomes a matter of life and death for all the adults in the family.
In Paul Bohannan's Social Anthropology (1963), he indicates that there are three critical relationships that must be right for polygyny to work: 1.) the relationship of the co-wives; 2.) the relationships of the half-siblings; and 3.) the relationships of the half-siblings with the co-wives of the family [SA p.106]. Kenyata wrote that extremely important to these relationships is the idea that "sharing everything is strongly emphasized in the upbringing of children, so when they grow up they find it natural to share love and affection with others, for it is said that 'To live with others is to share and to have mercy for one another, . ."<4 p.291ff>
The 20th century polygyny of the Indian aristocracy<1> had an excellent way of handling these relationships. A wife knew when her husband took another wife. Each wife had her own dwelling where she had privacy and could carry out her own nest building without having to take thought of the other wife and her children. When another wife was taken, the housing,
income, social duties/status and expenses of the senior wife/wives were not changed. A senior wife would spend less time with her husband if he took another wife, and she filled that time with her children, family duties, education, job experience and/or her favorite activities.
Half-siblings were made to understand that any half-sibling was a full sibling as far as the father was concerned. Of course favoritism poisoned these waters whenever it occurred. Half-siblings were made to understand that their father's co-wives were to be treated as "Aunties" who were always to be shown respect, and were to be obeyed when the half-siblings found themselves under an "Aunties" care and authority.
Jomo Kenyata and Bohannan agree that there is great importance for "women in polygynous societies" to each have their own kitchens, rooms and/or houses/huts, as in the Indian and African models. "When all the arrangements are completed, he builds a hut next to that of the first wife and then brings the second wife home.." <4, p. 290>. This is especially important if there are any conflicts between the co-wives, their separate dwellings giving each wife a safe conflict-free zone to which she can retreat or in which she can feel safe and free of harassment. The wealthier the polygynous family, the larger and more comfortable and further apart their dwellings. Each co-wife cooks separately, especially after she has children. The polygynous husband either eats a meal separately with each co-wife, or he eats the meal with all of them where they pot luck, with each wife preparing one or more of the parts of the gathered family's meal. <SA p. 107>
Kenyata writes: "In a polygamous homestead the husband has his own hut (thingira), in which friends and casual visitors are entertained. Each wife has her own hut where she keeps her personal belongings. The cooking also is done in it. While collective ownership is a fundamental principle of the family group, the hut is considered as the private property of the wife and it is entirely under her control. Each wife is provided with several lots of land" for gardening <4 p. 290,293> "But the duty of looking after the husband, such as cleaning his hut, supplying him with firewood, water, food, etc., is shared by all, in turn." <4, p.292>
Kenyatta continues: "Each wife is held responsible for what she produces from the land and can distribute it as she pleases, provided that she has reserved enough food for the use of herself and family until the next harvest."<4 p. 291>. In the Christian family, 2 Cor 8 & 9 would be the guiding principle in the distribution of the income/crops. "While the division of personal property exist between the wives, the husband is the head of the family and the one who contributes his labor power to all equally; he belongs to all and all belong to him. This brings the division [of personal property] to one collective ownership under his guidance." <4 p. 291>
Another reason for there being a great importance for "women in polygynous societies" to each have their own kitchens, rooms and/or houses, is because of the children of each of the co-wives. Each wife having her own dwelling and play area for her own children greatly reduces one of the biggest problems that has often doomed polygynous families. That problem is the conflict that arises between the half-siblings, who have the strongest loyalty to their own mothers, a strong loyalty to the relatives of their mothers, and lastly a loyalty to their father and his family. In the Indian princess' model and in my own experience, it is best if each wife lives so far away from the other wives that it is too far to walk. I believe it is best if each wife's
children go to different schools from the other wives, all with the aim of avoiding sibling rivalry and conflicts in loyalties and authority.
One of the most divisive forces to attack a polygynous marriage is when the husband’s children by one wife are in adolescent conflict with the children of another of his wives. This conflict can seriously alienate wives, and even drive some to leave the marriage and return to their parents’ people. It is for this reason that when polygynous children become adolescents that they begin to find work that supplements the family income enabling them and their mother to get a larger area at a greater distance from the adolescent children of the other wives. Harmony
among the co-wives is far more important than harmony among the half-siblings. The more personalities in the mix the more difficult it is to maintain the families’ harmony.<SA p.109ff> Even though the husband and wife/wives may have been renewed in Christ when they married, there is no guarantee that they will have godly children.
Adam and Eve had Cain. David had Absalom. Israel had 10 sons that betrayed and sold their brother. The sons of Samuel were a mess. So since some of the children might be unsaved and under the harmful and disruptive influence of the evil spirits (Eph 2:1,2), their own natural minds, their body and its hormones, it wisest for a poly wife to live and raise her school age kids away from the school age kids of the other wives. As proposed in my document, "USAUrbanBlueCollarPolygyny..htm", each wife should live out of walking range of each other, preferably in different communities, suburbs, town or etc. so that there kids will go to different schools. All the kids and wives would be together for the weekly family outing/picnic and potluck meal, preferably at a place where they could be hassle free form outsiders. Each of my three ladies live in separate towns, but since there kids grew up without being polygynous, all the wives and kids don't socialize together, since most of the grown kids strongly disapprove of their polygyny. Because of their culture, society, church or family many must experience
their polygyny privately and discretely in a very personal way before God. It's a 1 Cor 8 and 10 and Romans 14 issue, here paraphrased for application:
***"19 So let us then definitely aim for and eagerly pursue what makes for harmony and for mutual upbuilding (edification and development) of one another. 20 You must not, for the sake of [polygyny], undo and break down and destroy the work of God! Everything is indeed [ceremonially] clean and pure, but it is wrong for anyone to hurt the conscience of others or to make them fall by what [form of marriage he is in]. 21 The right thing is to eat no meat or drink no wine [at all], or [be openly polygynous] if it makes your brother stumble or hurts his conscience or offends or weakens him. 22 Your personal convictions [on polygyny] -- exercise [them] as in God's presence, keeping them to yourself [discretely and privately]. Blessed (happy, to be envied) is he/she who has no reason to judge her/himself for what [form of marriage] she/he approves [who does not convict himself of sin by what he/she chooses to do]. 23 But the person who has doubts (misgivings, an uneasy conscience) about eating [something or polygyny], and then eats [it or is polygynous], stands condemned [before God], because he/she is not true to her/his convictions and she/he does not act from faith [based on the Word of God]. For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith [based on the Word of God] is sin [i.e. whatever is done without a conviction of its approval by God is sinful]."
We Christian polygynists are required to teach and preach the whole counsel of God, like Paul (Acts 20:27), including polygyny, but we are bound by the Word of God never to argue, quarrel, debate
***"1 AS FOR the man who is a weak believer, welcome him [into your fellowship], but not to criticize his opinions or pass judgment on his scruples or perplex him with discussions." Rom 14:1 AB
***"24 And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and contending). Instead, he must be kindly to everyone and mild-tempered [preserving the bond of peace]; he must be a skilled and suitable teacher, patient and forbearing and willing to suffer wrong. 25 He must correct his opponents with courtesy and gentleness, in the hope that God may grant that they will repent and come to know the Truth [that they will perceive and recognize and become accurately acquainted with and acknowledge it], 26 And that they may come to their senses [and] escape out of the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him, [henceforth] to do His [God's] will." 2 Tim 2 AB
Bohannan indicated that for a polygynous family to work well there had to be positive or at least constructive relationships between the co-wives. Expectations of wives, co-wives and husbands need to be clearly stated and understood well by all involved. There is a need for clearly understood boundaries, turf, duties and obligations to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. A wife is considered a good wife if she abides by and fulfills the "rules" of the family. [Bohannan p. 106] The Christian polygynous family can be very successful if they all accept and agree to Jesus' rules for their interaction and relationships.
President FDR's "poly family" with Eleanor and Missy <2> followed the needed patterns above and even exceeded them. Around 1920 Eleanor picked Missy to help FDR with his correspondence even though she knew that Missy resembled FDR's former lover. Missy always was grateful and respectful to Eleanor. She became indispensable when FDR came down
with polio and Eleanor began to do his travel and public relations for him. Missy became "surrogate wife" in Eleanor's absence she supervised the house, the domestic duties, acted as hostess, and paid the bills. As "surrogate wife" she supervised the children and gave them their allowances, and they adored her.<2> pp.298ff
Missy was kind, "cheerful, attentive and encouraging" to all.. In Eleanor's absence she would organize FDR's day, invite the guests, “presiding over the dinner table." When Eleanor arrived, after friendly and pleasant greetings, Missy would step back and let Eleanor take the lead. Eleanor didn't feel socially threatened by Missy because she was from a blue collar family. She greatly appreciated that Missy freed her to do her philanthropic and social work. Eleanor sensed that Missy loved FDR the man, and their marriage was safe with Missy. After 21 years in the family, Missy's health failed and she had a stroke that left her crippled. Even though she was no longer an active member of FDR's family he generously saw that her needs were met to the very end.<2> p. 299-301>
As to the three critical relationships that must be right for polygyny to work, the relationship of the Eleanor and Missy was warm, devoted and friendly - gladly sharing the love and company of their FDR. Since Missy never had children by FDR, his children became her children, who
adored her, and there was no half-sibling rivalry. <2> p. 301
When polygyny works, the women develop a set of wife rules that become the norm for the family. If a wife lives up to the wife rules, she is esteemed as a good wife, usually whether or not she is liked by the other wife/wives. The relationship between the poly wives of one husband are commonly characterized by hostility, or cooperation, friendliness or a combination of these.<SB p. 106> It is important to note that hostility, jealousy, cooperation or friendliness or a combination of these characterize most monogynous marriages, especially if there are children involved.
Among the Tiv, during pregnancy's last months, the co-wife takes over all the pregnant wife's duties (farming, cooking etc.), assists the midwife in the birth, and assists of the new mother for weeks after the birth. Conflict would deny all these benefits from the co-wives, so it is avoided. However if the co-wife doesn't live up to the rules of the family, she becomes the object of verbal fights and arguments because she is being a bad co-wife, not because she IS a co-wife. <SA p. 106>
Of primary importance is the fact that polygynous co-wives usually are NOT jealous if they have a good, devoted, impartial, fair, and just husband, treating all his wives equitably/equally in the matters "considered important by them." It is a wise polygynous husband who finds out what matters are "considered important by them", and acts accordingly. Secondly, the division of labor supports good and effective polygyny, because the wives are aware that their burdens are lightened when shared with others committed to the family. Thirdly, especially in Africa, it is believed that a woman should not have another child until her last is weaned, usually two years of age.<SB p.107>
Usually when a woman becomes pregnant again she stops lactating, so the baby needs to weaned before she becomes pregnant again. The co-wife who has just given birth doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant by her husband because his other wife/wives meet his sexual needs, while her husband continues to have non coital sex with her. To make this work
it usually takes two or three wives because when wife A gives birth and starts breast feeding her new born, the husband is having coital sex with wife B even after she becomes pregnant. When wife B gives birth, wife A is in her 9th+ month of nursing, so while wives A & B are nursing and having non coital sex with him, he is having coital sex with wife C. If there is no wife C, he resumes coital sex with wife A, while wife B takes over the breast feeding of wife A's baby and her own baby. A third wife is a blessing to the family when either wife A or wife B is unable to breast feed.
Breast feeding each others' children bonds the wives to each other's children, and the children to each of the wives. This is extremely important in the relationship of the co-wives and their children. The babies get two overlapping sets of antibodies from each mother during the breast feeding. The babies have no lack of mother milk. The husband’s wives have no lack of coitus and children. The burden falls on the husband to provide non coital sex while the mothers are lactating, but with his good foreplay/massaging, his oral stimulation of her nipples with his digital stimulation of her clitoris, vagina and G spot, the non coital wives have no lack of orgasms and ecstasy. The women take turns having coitus and breast feeding each other's children. Remember that condoms have a 12% failure rate in preventing pregnancy and cannot be relied upon to prevent pregnancy. With three wives each wife could, in turn be available for marital sex for 9 months and at least 18 months free from sex for breast feeding. If there were four wives, each wife could be free, in turn, from sex for 27 months of breast feeding.
Another related need for co-wives in primitive societies is the female death rate in giving birth. It was all to frequent that a tribal mother would die in child birth and a co-wife would have to "adopt" the orphaned child. It is noted that “boys die more readily in childhood and early adulthood than do girls.” <SA p. 109> The average male would die in his 40s, while the average female would die in her 30s. With men not marrying until their mid-twenties by which time they could support a family, many had died off from illnesses, war, hunting accidents etc. With women marrying from age 15 on, many died while giving birth, from illnesses etc. So even though the society had the same number of males and females being born, by the age 25 there were more marriageable women than marriageable men. <SA p.109>
Bohannan declares that he has known and known of tribal wives "who made the initial arrangements for a congenial girl and brought her home to be her husband's new wife because they wanted the companion-ship and help of a good co-wife." He declares that the wisest polygynist husbands let his wife/wives have a big say in the taking of a new wife, "for no matter how much a woman likes a man, she is not likely to stay with him if she does not like his other women." If she finds herself in the midst of a congenial group of co-wives, "she may put up with a lot from a husband" and stay in the marriage. <SA p.107>
Kenya's famous Jomo Kenyata asserts that soon after giving birth, a polygynist's wife will begin to encourage him to have another wife, "a companion (moiru)" for her. This "companion" wife would free her from daily chores so she can spend more time caring for the baby. The companion wife would help with the groceries, entertaining guests, gardening and of course give the first wife freedom from her husband's sexual advances and aspirations. <4, p 289ff>
Jomo Kenyata <3 & 4> wrote that among the Gikuyu a man "may have as many wives as he can support" <4, p 288> and his tribe encouraged this, believing "that the larger the family is the happier it will be." <4, p. 289) Love of wives and love of children encouraged the polygyny. The hard facts were that there was an average of two wives to every family
<4, p.. 290>. Of course the more wives he has, the less the quality or content of the relationships, both with the wives as well as with the children. ". . . the husband is the head of the family and the one who contributes his [sexual] labor power to all equally; he belongs to all and all belong to him." <4 p. 291> This belonging is found in the Bible in 1 Cor 7:
***"3 to the wife the husband should render the due benevolence, and in like
manner also the wife [should render the due benevolence] to the husband; 4 the wife does not have [sexual] authority over her own body, but the husband [has that authority]; and, in like manner also, the husband does not have [sexual] authority over his own body, but the wife [has that authority]..
It is critically important to "retain the quality or content of the relationship" when the "number of similar relationships" is increased. <4, p.292> The failure to do this is what internally doomed Mormon polygyny, according to Mormon women. <SA p.108> The African and Asian polygynist came much closer to the model given by Jesus/Jehovah to Israel in Ex 20
& 21:
***Ex 20:22 And Jehovah said to Moses, Thus shalt thou say to the children of Israel: Ye have seen that I have spoken with you from the heavens. . . . 21: 7 And if a man shall sell his daughter as a handmaid, she shall not go out as the bondmen go out. 8 If she is unacceptable in the eyes of her master, who had taken her [as wife] for himself, then shall he let her be ransomed [to her parents]: . . . 10 If he take himself another, her food, her clothing, and her conjugal rights he shall not diminish. 11 And if he do not these three things unto her, then shall she go out free without money.
The quality of the intimate, marital and sexual content of the marital relationship is given structure and content by God Himself.
***" Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun--all the days of futility. For that is your portion in this life and in your work at which you toil under the sun." Eccles 9:9
***"18 Your fountain/genital should be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful fawn- her breasts should always satisfy you; lose yourself in her loving forever. 20 Why, my son, would you be infatuated with a forbidden woman or embrace the breast of one who doesn't belong to you? Prov 5 from HB
***"2 But because of sexual immorality, each man should be [sexually] having his own wife, and each woman should be [sexually] having her own husband. 3 A husband should fulfill his marital duty [Ex 21:10] to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have [sexual] authority over her own body, but her husband does. Equally, a husband does not have [sexual] authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not [sexually] deprive one another— except when you agree, for a time, to devote yourselves to fasting prayer. Then come together again [sexually]; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Cor 7 HB
So we see that the husband is commanded to have blessedly happy
sex taking pleasure in his wife, to satisfy himself with his wife's breasts,
and to keep on losing himself emotionally in her sweet and sexy loving.
We see that both are to be sexually having each other on an ongoing
basis to avoid sex sin. We see that they both have sexual authority
over each other's bodies, and that they are not to deprive each other
sexually except by mutual agreement to devote themselves to fasting
prayer, that after the agreed upon fasting prayer is completed they
are to resume ongoing sexual relations. In polygyny when one has
several wives, who for some reason all want to exercise their
sexual authority over his body in one evening, being intimate with
each alone in an order agreed upon by all, or by lots if agreement
is not possible, the husband might be able to do no more than
present his body to his wife for her to do with him what she wants.
He may be completely exhausted and unable rise to the occasion,
but he is expected to joyfully present his body to her and it is still
her right and responsibility to bless his genital, present her breasts
(prepared with edible oils and scents) for his satisfaction, and let
loose on him her sweet loving even if she has to be on top and
provide most of the action. The word for an exhausted husband in
such circumstances is the Word in 2 Cor 8:12
***"If you want to give, your gift will be accepted. It will be judged
by what you have, not by what you do not have."
As to retaining "the quality or content of the relationship", if Sam takes
Beulah to be another wife in his family with Safronia, his first wife,
he won't diminish Safronia's food, clothing or conjugal rights/time
(Ex 21:10). Hopefully Safronia feels congenial with Beulah, giving Sam
credit for a little bit of wisdom marrying her with Safronia's consent.
So if he had kept Safronia well fed, well clothed, and had an hour of
intimate aloneness (free from the children etc) before sleep with her
almost every evening, he would need to continue feeding Safronia well,
clothing her well, and having their hour of intimate aloneness before sleep
almost every weekend after Beulah had joined the family as his new wife.
That would mean that Beulah and Sam would have to work around
Safronia's preexisting schedule, unless Safronia was gracious enough to
give Beulah some of her time slots with Sam.
If Sam has an 8 to 5 M thru F job, with a 30 minute commute both ways,
and he goes to sleep at 10 pm to get up at 6 am, then he has to carefully
manage his intimate time with his wives. He has only four hours each
evening, really three after figuring in eating and preparing for bed. If Safronia
has him from 9 to 10 almost every evening, then he needs to be with Beulah
in "intimate aloneness" from 7:30 to 8:30 most evenings, with Safronia
caring for the kids including Beulah's, except when they can have the 9
to 10 slot. The co-wife not with Sam would have “Kid Duty”, including
the kids of the co-wife who is alone with Sam. He would take turns
sleeping with each one, decided by need, vote, casting/drawing lots or
the flip of a coin. Between Beulah and Safronia, the one with the
most/youngest kids would stay home, be full time mom and home school as
much as possible. The one with the fewest/oldest kids would join the
work force and help support the family financially.
If he were young enough, strong enough and brave enough, Sam might take
on another wife, Abigail. Hopefully he would have had enough sense to let
Beulah and Safronia pick Abigail, or at least to make sure they could get
along with her when together and have enough respect for each other to
live together harmoniously. At this point, if he is a blue collar worker, or
in the lower middle class, he would either have to make every effort to
be alone and intimate with Abigail from 6 to 7 each evening after a quick
meal, or he would have to scale back his work to 75% time, so that he can
have quality and intimate time with each wife.
An alternative scheduling in a two wife polygyny, could be for Sam
to be with each wife three nights a week, with one night off for
rest and recovery, or given to one of the wives by drawing lots.
In a three wife polygyny, Sam could be with each wife two nights a
week, and the seventh night could be for rest and recovery, or for
one of the three wives by lottery or agreed upon rotation. If at all
possible, it would be good for Sam to have his own place, where
he could host and entertain his relatives and/or male friends,
and where the whole family could meet together on "neutral ground"
for potlucks and fellowship, like seeing an agreed upon movie or
concert or performance. If Sam doesn't have his own place, then
he would need to have a place for his own stuff in the dwelling of
each of his wives.
The co-wives not having "intimate alone time" with Sam would be
watching the kids, including Abigail's kids. This means that when
Abigail becomes a member of the family, the one with the youngest
children stays home with the kids and home schools them while the
rest of the adults and children over 16 work for pay to help support the
family. The children under 16 would help with the care of the children
at home, with the home schooling and with the chores of the house.
Sam, Abigail, Beulah and Safronia would need to be agreed as to the
“rules and structure” of the family, and how to resolve conflicts, using
Jesus' guidelines given in Gal 6:1; 2 Tim 2:24-26; and Matt 18:15-17.
Abigal, Beulah and Safronia would each need to have their own dwelling,
for cooking, living and sleeping. Please see my file “Urban Middle Class
Poly in a Poly Hostile Society” for more details on the economics and
logistics of such Biblical polygyny in modern and western societies/cultures.
The godly Christian goal in Biblical Christian polygyny is experiencing
the unity of the Spirit in the bond of Peace:
***"1 I THEREFORE, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to and beg
you to walk (lead a life) worthy of the [divine] calling to which you
have been called [with behavior that is a credit to the summons to
God's service, 2 Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of
mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness),
with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because
you love one another. 3 Be eager and strive earnestly to guard and keep
the harmony and oneness of [and produced by] the Spirit in the binding
power of peace.
***"Psalm 133
A Song of Ascents. Of David.
1 BEHOLD, HOW good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! 2 It is like the precious ointment poured on the head, that ran down on the beard, even the beard of Aaron [the first high priest], that came down upon the collar and skirts of his garments [consecrating the whole body]. 3 It is like the dew of [lofty] Mount Hermon and the dew that comes on the hills of Zion; for there the Lord has commanded the blessing, even life forevermore [upon the high and the lowly].
POLYGYNY/POLYGAMY AND CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP
Romans 14 is very important for successful Christian fellowship.
***1 Accept anyone who is weak in faith, but don't argue about doubtful issues. . . . 19 So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another. 20 Do not tear down God's work because of food. Everything is clean, but it is wrong for a man to cause stumbling by what he eats. 21 It is a noble thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother stumble. 22 Do you have faith? Keep it to yourself before God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But whoever doubts stands condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith, and everything that is not from faith is sin. 15: 1 Now we who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not to please ourselves. 2 Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, in order to build him up. HCSB
Rom 14 amplified, expanded and applied to polygyny for clarity: 1As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not for the purpose of arguing or quarreling over different opinions. . . . 16 Let not then your [conviction that polygyny is] good be evil spoken of; 17 for the kingdom of God is not [polygyny] and [monogyny], but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For she that in this [controversy about polygyny] serves the Christ is acceptable to God and approved of men. 19 So then let us pursue the things which tend to peace, and things whereby one shall build up another. 20 For the sake of [polygyny] do not destroy the work of God. All things [including polygyny] indeed are pure; but it is evil to that woman who [becomes polygynous] while stumbling [in sin] because of her doubts about its rightness. 21 It is right not to [take a second wife], nor [take a third wife], nor do anything in which thy brother [or sister] stumbles [striking the toe of one's conscience against an obstacle inducing one to sin by acting in doubt], or is offended [ or stumbles or is enticed to act without faith or think unfavourably or unjustly of another and so displesed and indignant], or is made weak [morally feeble, without strength, powerless]. 22 Have you faith [to believe polygyny is right and so practice it]? Have that conviction to yourself [secretly, privately &/or discretely] before God. Blessed is the one who does not judge oneself in what [belief or practice of polygyny] one allows [with a firm and convinced faith in its rightness]. 23 But one that doubts [about the rightness of polygyny], if [that] one [becomes polygynous], [that one] is condemned; because that one became polygynous not because of faith [in its rightness]; but whatever [behavior or thought does not originate from] faith [in its rightness before God] is sin.
27 If a polygynist knows that the gathering will not include anyone offended by polygyny, and an unbeliever invites you to such a polygynous gathering and you are disposed to go, enjoy the polygynous gathering without raising any question on the ground of conscience. 28 But if someone says to you, “There is a person here who is offended by polygyny,,” then do not participate in the gathering, out of consideration for the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience— 29 I mean the other’s conscience, not your own. For why should my liberty be subject to the judgment of someone else’s conscience? 30 If I partake of polygyny with thankfulness, why should I be denounced because of that for which I give thanks?
This application of Scriptural principles was derived from 1 Cor 8:7-13 and 10:23-30
Finally, we know that today the word regulating the official and public practice of polygyny in America is the Word in Romans 13, where we in America are instructed to obey the laws of the land, America, As St. Augustine said, where the law prohibits the public and official practice of polygyny, it would be a sin, the sin of disobedience, for a child of God to publicly and officially practice polygyny. In countries where the public and official practice of polygyny is legal, polygynists are still bound to observe the Word in Romans 14, here paraphrased for application:
'1As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions, over doubtful issues. . . . 13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by [your polygyny you] are no longer walking in love. By what you [do], do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of [monogyny or polygyny] but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. 20 Do not, for the sake of [polygyny], destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he [does]. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything [including polygyny] that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith/conviction that you have [about living in polygyny], keep between yourself and God [privately and discretely]. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts [about what he does] is condemned if he [does it], because the [doing] is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. 15:15: 1 Now we who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not to please ourselves. 2 Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, in order to build him up.
Another Word regulating the practice of polygyny is 1 Cor 8, again paraphrased for application:
1Cor 8: 8 It is true that a particular kind of [marriage] will not bring us into God’s presence; we are neither inferior to others if we abstain from [polygyny], nor superior to them if we [practice] it. 9 But take care lest this liberty of yours should prove a hindrance to the progress of weak believers. 10 For if any one were to see you, who know the real truth of this matter, [practicing polygyny], would not his conscience (supposing him to be a weak believer) be emboldened to [practice polygyny as well but with doubts]? 11 Why, your knowledge becomes the ruin of the weak believer--your brother, for whom Christ died! 12 Moreover when you thus sin against the brethren and wound their weak consciences, you are, in reality, sinning against Christ. 13 Therefore if [my polygyny] causes my brother to fall, never again to the end of my days will I [openly and publically practice polygyny to the knowledge of weak believers], for fear I should cause my brother to fall. [Derived from 1 Cor 8:8-13]
Another Word regulating the practice of polygyny is 1 Cor 10, again paraphrased for application:
'23 "All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. 24 No one should seek his own benefit, but the benefit of his neighbor. 25 [Practice any legal form of marriage you wish] without raising any question on the ground of conscience. . . . 27 If one of the unbelievers invites you to [a public and official polygynous wedding] and you are disposed to go, [partake in the event] without raising any question on the ground of conscience. 28 But if someone says to you, “[The public and official practice of polygyny is illegal here],” then do not [attend] it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience— 29 I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else’s conscience? 30 If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?
31 So, whether you [practice monogyny or polygyny], or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32 Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, 33 just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.'
FOOTNOTES AND REFERENCES
<SA> Social Anthropology, Paul Bohannan; Holt, Rinehart and Winston,
Inc.; 1963
<1> A Princess Remembers, The Memoirs of the Maharani of Jaipur, by G.
Devi of Jaipur and S. R. Rau; 1976; J.B. Lippincott Co., NY.
<2> Three in Love, Ménages á trois from ancient times to modern times;
by B. Foster, M. Foster, L. Hadady; HarperCollins;
<3> Facing Mount Kenya, Marriage System, by Kenya's Jomo Kenyata, Chap 8;
Secker & Warburg, London 1938 pp. 163-185
<4> Peoples and Cultures of Africa, An Anthropological Reader; Edited by
E. P. Skinner; Doubleday, Garden City, New York, 1973
http://meetup.com/SanDiegoChristianPolygyny - - - - - - - - - 17
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Poly_Polygamy_Polygny_And_Jesus
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/BiblicalChristianPolygamyPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy2
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/women-sharing-one-man-maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://american-christian-polygynists.ning.com/
http://christianpatriarchs.ning.com/group/californiapolygynouspatriarchs
http://biblicalmarriagepolygyny.yuku.com/directory
http://polyfamilies.ning.com/profile/RTyler
http://biblicalchristianpolygyny.blogspot.com/
http://worldpolyamoryassociation.ning.com/group/biblical_christian_polygyny_polygamy
http://www.oldservant.u.yuku.com
http://www.kirkal.com/view_group.php?group_id=441
http://religiousfreedomofspeech.ning.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LynnAndLossRecovery
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyOption4ChristiansWithSTDs/
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygyny/ - - - 39
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygamy/ - - - 48
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christianpoly/ - - - small poly group for those who need privacy in their poly - request membership at elkanahtyler@gmail.com
The Eternal Father of Love gave His only Son born of woman to die for
your failures so that you do not have to be lost to Death but can Live
with Jesus forever, by trusting Jesus alone to save you from Death and
failure and make you right to Live with the Eternal Father of Love
forever. Abortion is the murderous shedding of innocent blood. Neither
racists, nor bigots, nor those who enjoy pornography, nor those who
have sexual relations outside of their own marriage, nor catamites nor
homosexuals shall inherit Jesus' Kingdom, according to Ac17:26; 1Jn2&3
Rom1;1Co6;Is59:7;Ez23; Rev 21; Rev 22
Keys2SuccessfulBiblicalPoly
KEYS TO LOVING UNITY IN POLYGYNOUS FAMILIES AND FELLOWSHIPS.
Copyright © 8/23/'96; 07/24/09
This is an ASCII text for unedited and unchanged distribution
on the net and www by Lee Tyler, San Diego,
Box 620763, San Diego, CA 92162-0763;
http://polyamory.meetup.com/389/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Poly_Polygamy_Polygny_And_Jesus
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/BiblicalChristianPolygamyPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy2
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LynnAndLossRecovery
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyOption4ChristiansWithSTDs/ -
This post is a review of and commentary on the way of life described in
Amy Carmichael's book entitled "GOLD CORD, the Story of a Fellowship."
"There are some very important limitations on the reach of copyright protections.
The first and most important is the doctrine of fair use, which allows others to use
portions of copyrighted works for purposes such as reviews, commentary, news
and scholarship. Second, items which are not copyrightable, such as titles, names,
common facts and ideas are not protected. Third, some works are in the public
domain and may be used by anyone. This includes works where the copyright
has expired. "
In this review and commentary I attempt to show that the fellowship principles
described in her book can and should be applied to any Christian fellowship
or marriage, to experience the joy and blessing of the Lord.
Much of this post is based on the godly observations of Amy Carmichael,
now deceased, the founder of the Dohnavur Fellowship in India. Her
observance of Romans 14 would have kept her from taking a public stand
for or about Christian polygyny. The Dohnavur Fellowship today still
maintains this silence about Christian polygyny. Amy never publicly
promoted, subscribed to or encouraged Christian polygyny, but surely
accepted it if one was called to and received Christ while polygynous,
according to 1 Cor 7:
17 Only, as the Lord hath distributed to each one, as God hath called each,
so one should walk. And so ordain I in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called
being circumcised? One should not become uncircumcised. Hath any been
called in uncircumcision? One should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is
nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing; but the keeping of the
commandments of God. 20 Each one should abide in that calling wherein one
was called. 21 Wast thou called being a bondservant? Care not for it: nay,
even if thou canst become free, use it rather. 22 For one that was called in the
Lord being a bondservant, is the Lord’s freedman: likewise one that was
called being free, is Christ’s bondservant. 23 Ye were bought with a price;
become not bondservants of people. 24 Brethren, each one should, wherein one
was called, therein abide with God.
The application is as follows:
Only, as the Lord has distributed to each one, as God has called each,
so one should walk. Was anyone called in polygyny? One should
not become monogynous. Has any been called in monogyny? One should
not become polygynous. Monogyny is nothing, and polygyny is nothing;
but the keeping of the commandments of God. Each one should abide in
that calling wherein one was called. Were called being polygynous? Care
not for it: nay, even if thou canst become monogynous, use it rather. For
one that was called in the Lord being polygynous, is the Lord’s polygynist:
likewise one that was called being monogynous, is Christ’s monogynist.
Brethren, each one should, wherein one was called, therein abide with God.
So even though Amy and the Dohnavur Fellowship do not publicly endorse,
support or encourage Christian polygyny or this post, Amy's Biblical principles
of fellowship apply excellently both in monogyny and polygyny. The Dohnavur
Fellowship does not endorse, support or subscribe to the application of Amy's
principles to polygyny, or this document. If I were allowed two have only two
books in my life, I would want the Bible and Amy's Gold Cord.
Amy wrote:
"No purer joy can be
Than to be one in Thee;
Bound by one golden cord
Of love to our dear Lord.
Together, together, together,
Made one in Thee,
All one in Thee,
Come let us flow together.
Come let us flow together
To the goodness of the Lord
Together, together, together,
Alleluia.
Than song of sweet wild bird,
Deep in the green wood heard,
More sweet the melody
Of such a unity.
All singing, all singing, all singing,
Made one in Thee,
All one in Thee,
Come let us flow, all singing.">a
Such singing is an evidence of the filling and unity of the Spirit
in the bond of peace---"speaking to one another in psalms and
hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your
heart to the Lord . . ."(Eph.5:19)
"There is a peerless joy in comradeship that the years can only
prove and strengthen. This joy has been ours. We know that
the Lord 'who knit us together, shall keep us together'. . . . . . . .
Comfort and joy meet in this vital union,
Shelter in storm and peacefulness in strife;
Thus to be knit in Thy pure love's communion
It is our life, O Lord: it is our life.">b
So wrote Amy Carmichael, the author of Gold Cord and founder
of the Dohnavur Fellowship in Tirunelveli District, S. India, that
continues to this day and began in the 19th century. She never
set out or intended to do more than to serve those suffering
about her, share the joy of her salvation in the Lord Jesus
Christ, and rescue children from becoming temple prostitutes in
worship of Hindu sex gods and godesses. As she did these
things the Lord provided not only her material needs, but
precious and wonderful coworkers, Love warriors, and a
fellowship was born that evidenced the supernatural peace,
harmony, unity, sharing, service, and unselfish compassionate
cherishing that is possible only in and by Jesus and His Spirit.
In the process, like Hudson Taylor of China Inland Mission,
George Muller of Bristol England and many, she decided that
she would not ask any mortal for funds or supplies, nor let any
mortal outside of the fellowship know their need for funds or
supplies, even when the fellowship had grown to over 500
residents with an on site hospital. She and those of the Gold
Cord agreed to ask only Jesus' Father for the funds and supplies
they needed, and in an age of no long distance phone service,
no computers and no quick telecommunications, Jesus' Father
provided them with all their needs, providing the fellowship
with tens of millions of dollars (at our current rate of exchange)
over the years before she went on to be with Jesus.
During her life at Dohnavur in the Gold Cord, there was
realized that blessed unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace
anointed with a filling of the spirit that spilled over in song and
thanksgivings when they gathered together, male and female,
old and young, of many races, of many nations, of many
stations in life and over the decades. It is one of the greatest
and best documented proofs that God is, that Jesus is alive and
present in our midst, and that God loves us enough to be
intimately involved in our personal and corporate lives. And
so I offer her as a tried, tested and true expert on loving unity
in a family and in a fellowship.
The keys to a harmonious Christian family
lies in the relationship each member has with the risen and
soon to return Lord Jesus Christ. The keys to such family
harmony are essentially the same as the keys to any
harmonious and Loving Christian fellowship. Loving Jesus
with all our hearts, all our strength, all our minds and all our
soul (personality) first and foremost manifests itself in
loving and devoted obedience to Jesus. Such loving and
devoted obedience manifests itself in the unselfish and self-
denying compassionate cherishing of all who Love Jesus,
which would include the husband, wives and children in a
Christian family. Let's look at some of the
character traits that Jesus will work in us if we ask and let
Him, character traits that will make for a Loving and
harmonious Christian family.
Amy found certain character traits essential to the harmony of
the fellowship of the Gold Cord: "truth, willingness for hard
work, a freedom from the dominance of money, and very
loving hearts. . . They were lovers of their Lord and servants of
His sick; they loved one another fervently, and money had no
power over them.">c What about the leader, the husband
in a family or the leader of a fellowship of bonded
souls, bound together in Spirit by a shared vision? He would
have to be a man of that vision, "one to whom the same
heavenly vision had been shown, so that he could not be
turned back from it or caused to doubt what he had seen.">d
"Only one who was so mastered by his convictions about
building in gold, silver, and precious stones could hold on
through what was sure to happen when there seemed to be no
material of that sort at hand, and the driving "must" of
apparent necessity to accept wood and hay and stubble was
upon him. But when convictions are inwrought by the Spirit of
God, they are not conquered by opposition, or shaken by
criticism or failure, or broken or weakened by disappointment.
The leader sent of God would not lose heart. For him we
prayed persistently.">e
The Leader, yea the band, cannot be given to self-indulgent
comfort. A life of sharing is a life of self-discipline and self
denial because self does not like to share. In a bonded
fellowship or marriage, after sharing, loving service
to your partners is the next key to success. Sharing and service
are not naturally comfortable and often allow those exercising
such virtues little or no comfort. "Comfort, that stealthy thing
that enters the house as guest, and then becomes a host, and
then master. Ay, and it becomes a tamer, and with hook and
scourge makes puppets of your larger desires. Though its
hands are silken, its heart is iron. Verily, the lust for comfort
murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning to the
funeral.">f The desire for personal comfort is an enemy of
unity in a family/fellowship.
In most of the world today anyone considering being a part
of a Godly family or controversial fellowship must be
prepared to suffer ridicule, harassment, social and emotional
trials, and even physical suffering as happened to my friend
Kane and his family.
"Dead to the world and its applause,
To all the customs, fashions, laws,
Of those who hate the humbling Cross">g
"I do not want people who come to me under certain
reservations. In battle you want soldiers who fear nothing. . .
we prayed that anyone who could be kept back should be
kept back. We even found ourselves asking that every
belittling story that could shake courage or desire might be
told to such a one--anything rather than to have one who
was not meant for us.">h It is best to have with you only
those whom the Lord has chosen and called to be with you,
especially in such a complicated and delicate association as in
a complex Christian family or controversial fellowships. If
one should join the family who was not called to it by the Lord,
the family will experience many of the struggles Joshua
experienced with the Canaanites, but the Lord will honor
unified prayer and fasting by the rest of the family
even in such circumstances and can turn it to His glory after
many trials and much struggle, even suffering.
To build such a Loving and harmonious Christian family, the
members of the family must answer the Spiritual call to
build such a family, by Christ's inner working.>1 If there is
any member of the family who does not have the calling to
such a family, the "called" members need to fast and pray in
agreement for such an uncalled member to receive the
"call">2. They must be open to the leading and inner
working of Jesus, no matter how "unpractical">3. That
involves each member dying to themselves and their own
personal desires so that Jesus can birth his Life and desires
in them>4. A lack of zeal and commitment to this Loving
harmony is fatal to such a calling. "Tis death, my soul, to be
indifferent" when He has called us to Love each other with
all our might>5 "Our Master has never promised us
success. He demands obedience. He expects faithfulness.
Results are His concern, not ours. And our reputation is a
matter of no consequence at all" when we are obeying His
clear and explicit Word.>6
The members of such a family should answer the call to Love
in deed and not simply in word. We need a Love that is
willing to have both dirty hands and calloused hands.>7
At the same time, these selfless workers of Love, should
learn to wait on the Lord, listening to His Spirit speak from
within as they quietly wait on Him and meditate on His
Word. This involves a patient waiting, not the hurried or
busy waiting of the Western world. This involves the quiet,
often silent, waiting and listening where we are not speaking
to Him, but spending significant time waiting on Him to
speak to us by His Spirit and Word.>8 This means the
putting aside of our agenda and the waiting on Him for His
agenda. This must precede the prayers of petition,
intercession and the pouring out of one's soul to the Lord.
Those who wait on the Lord learn how better to pray and
speak with the Lord.
"That which I know not teach Thou me,
Who, blessed Lord, teacheth like Thee?
Lead my desires that they may be
According to Thy will.
Kindle my thoughts that they may glow,
And lift them up where they are low,
And freshen them, that they may flow
According to Thy will.">9
First and foremost in the character of those called to Loving
and harmonious Christian marriage is loyalty to Jesus, even
to the point of being willing to lay down and sacrifice your own
life for Him and His will.>10 If all in the family have such a
devoted loyalty to Christ, then it is not difficult for the
husbands to Love their wives as Christ Loved the assembly of
saints, and it is not difficult for the wives to Lovingly follow
the lead of their husbands as they follow the lead of their
Lord. The most important expression of the family's Love
is unhindered prayer together for each other.>11 Such
prayer should spring out of the faith each member has from
hearing and heeding the Word in their lives. That faith
expresses itself in deep and meaningful shared convictions of
what is important and right. That faith expresses itself in
unity, harmony and orderliness based on shared convictions
and shared priorities and shared goals developed in prayer and
in the Word. Such a faith will have the peace that passes all
understanding, casting all our cares on Him because He cares
for us and trusting Him with our future. Such a faith and peace
enables us to experience joy in the Lord, "immortal light-
heartedness . . . a spontaneous gaiety" for without a sense of
humor no one would well survive a complex family.>12
" . . this beautiful happy. . . loyalty . . . is the basic quality of
vital unity" >13 in a Christian fellowship or complex family.
As to each other there is a rule to be carefully followed, "the
absent must be safe with us. Criticism, therefore, [must] be
taboo.">14 Not even "The Essence of But" can be a tolerated
(she is so nice, but.......he would be so good for that, but...
....)>15 Such selflessness befits those who determine to
"be emptied of glory and right and name">16
They have died to their own glory, died to their own rights, and
died to their own name (reputation). They have yielded
themselves to their Jesus as instruments of His righteousness
for His energizing, His glory, His rights and His Name. For such
servants of the King, "there was only one way of service---it
was the way of the Incarnation---a man must make himself
one with those whom he wished to serve.">17 A member of
the family/fellowship "must make himself one with those
[members of his family] whom he wished to serve". This must
be true first of the husband-leader, if a child of God, and then
of each and every member of the family/fellowship, if the
family/fellowship is to know that blessed and Loving unity He
wants for us.
". . . like a family. . .We were always, as it were, parts of one
another. . .each member lives for the good of the household,
and we worked together in this way. . . We found, as we
went on, that our way of life was like a transparent shield
about us. People came to us thinking it would be pleasant to
join us. We could not discern their motives. But they looked
awhile and, if they were not in sympathy, they went away.
Long afterwards, when our Father's purpose was revealed,
we thanked Him for leading us so. 'I lean upon no broken
reed, nor trust an untried guide' . . ." Far fewer are chosen
than are called, for many thought to be called may be
"broken reeds" and "untried guides" and may be sifted out
by patient waiting upon the Lord for His timing. Those who
would live in the blessed unity and harmony of the Spirit
must diligently "endeavor" to keep it with the wise discern-
ment of the Leading of the Spirit.>18 "This method of divine
leading---by the hour and by the moment---leaves the soul
free and unencumbered, and ready for the slightest breath of
God.---Madame Guyon">18a
Surely there will be disappointments in any family/fellowship,
but the key "is refusal to be weakened or hardened or soured
or made hopeless by disappointment. 'His only absorbing
passion was to press on' . . . And going on with Him, we find
that in Him is the secret of continuance, and the secret of
recovery too, after any disappointment, after any defeat.">19
So a family may weather, endure and even grow from
defeats, disappointments and setbacks it experiences within
and without. Being comforted through the crisis, the family
then is equipped and enabled to comfort those who suffer in
like manner, expanding their ministry to each other and to
those around them.>20
If the members of a Christian family live
together long enough growing in the Lord, they will learn the
lesson of "willing acceptance of daily, nightly perplexity and
disappointment without explanation. In the Gospels such a
matter was always dealt with instantly. . . Here was delay.
And we were not told why, and have not yet been told. We
learned to accept the silence of our God. . . . In such days we
prove each other. For the demands are greatest then. And
to find that nothing is too much to ask of one another is to
know what our gold cord can be, a golden thing right
through.">21 In such times of trial in a family the two legs
of convinced faith in Jesus and unselfish compassionate
cherishing are critical and sufficient. Thank God He is in
control of all things and we can trust Him for that in those
times of trial-----and we can carry on bearing Lovingly and
joyfully not only our own burdens, but also the burdens of
our partners when they trip or stumble or need a helping
hand. God is Love and the greatest thing to do in the world
is to Love, unselfishly compassionately cherishing, our
neighbors, our partners and the children of God, even when
God is silent, or doesn't "make sense". He doesn't ask us to
understand His will. He asks us to trust Him, even if it means
to walk on water with Him, spend the night in the lions' den,
or pass through the fiery furnace with Him.
"Strength of my heart, I rest in Thee,
Fulfil Thy purposes through me. . .
Waters of love, oh, pour through me;
I must have love, I must have Thee.
Lord, give me love, then I have all,
For love casts out tormenting fear,
And love sounds forth a trumpet call
To valiant hope; and sweet and clear
The birds of joy sing in my tree,
Love of my heart, when I have Thee.">22
This great Love for Jesus and one another, worked and willed
in us by Jesus, enables us to enter into David-Jonathan bonds of
commitment and Love.
"And David said . . . 'I have found favor in your eyes'. . .
And Jonathan caused David to swear [their loyalty
oath] again, because he Loved him; for he loved him
as he Loved his own soul. . . Jonathan said, 'the Lord
[be] between thee and me forever. . .">23
The Lord is the Bonder who binds together those united with
Him in His Love. The enemies' goal is to break the bond
between those bonded in Love, and to break the bond
between He who is Love and those who Love. So such a
bond must be fought for, often on a daily basis, as long as we
are on earth in our mortal bodies.
For this bonded fellowship in a family or
fellowship one needs a life of unreserved devotion, a life
without fences between those in the fellowship. This is a
daily walk and discipline which requires "that the line so
often drawn between spiritual and secular has no place with
us if we follow Him who not only withdrew to the mountain,
but also went about doing good. . . 'Put on the apron of
humility to serve one another' (1 Pet. v.5).">24 It means not
being out of balance like Martha who didn't know when it
was time to stop work to listen to the Lord, but being
balanced like Mary who worked around the house but knew
when it was time to stop such work to listen to Jesus.
We who build our families and fellowships in the Lord are
like Nehemiah's builders of the wall who wore their swords
in case of an attack while they worked on the wall. That wall
was to protect both their loved ones and the beloved Temple
where they worshipped God (Neh.4). We in fellowship are
the temples of God (1Cor.6) being built into the Temple of
God (Eph.2:21,22) on a moment by moment and daily basis
where the secular and the spiritual are constantly
intermixed in our daily lives. We need to have the sword of
the Spirit and the full armour of God on in our daily lives, even
in the most secular and mundane of our activities, because all
should be done as unto the Lord. If it isn't done that way, we
are adding wood, hay and stubble to our existence. "The Spirit
can sit at the Master's feet while the hands are filled with work
for others. Come unto Me and rest---take My yoke upon
you.">24 Mowing the widow's lawn or washing the dishes of
the disabled is a great time for prayer, praise and singing in
the Spirit.
Such a bonded group, family or fellowship, "whose one
purpose is to be spiritually ready to go all lengths with their
Lord">25 may have to express that readiness in changing
diapers, caring for the sick, feeding the hungry, risking one's
life for another----all the time with an ear open to the Spirit
and a heart filled with praise and thanksgiving waiting for
the opportunity to express itself. No one should be
surprised then if one breaks into praise holding a dirty
diaper, if one sings to the Lord while visiting the imprisoned,
if one thanks God out loud while tending the sick, or if one
speaks out in prayer in the midst of helping one in crisis.
How can a family, a fellowship, be lead and directed by the
Lord in a unified and harmonious manner, especially when
undergoing trials? For those in the family/fellowship who are
Spirit filled (Eph. 5) and offering Him the Love of obedience it
has been found ". . . possible to be directed as a company so
that we can move together in a harmony of spirit that is
restful and very sure. A company has to wait longer than one
or two might have to do, but if all be set on doing their Lord's
will and be truly one in loyalty and the New Testament kind
of affection that makes each one feel safe with each other
one, if all flow together to the goodness of the Lord,
unanimity is certain. It is not difficult for our Father to make
His children to be of one mind in an house. . . And we have
always found that before the ultimate word must be spoken,
divergent thoughts have vanished, . . The interval is sure to
be perplexed by a temptation to the futile fuss of talk.
Recognize this for what it is, the influence of the adversary
(for hurry of spirit confuses) and before long the same quiet
word will come to all. If the inmost law of such a company be
holy peace, it must be so.">26 This peace is born out of
the fervent and effectual praying of those who have
consciously cast all their cares and anxieties on the Lord and
decided to make "everything and anything" known to God in
prayer that has become an issue or concern in their lives, with
supplications, and thanksgivings to God (Phil.4).
What is the frame of mind of those who, in a setting that is
notorious for conflict and jealousy like the average American
family, are able to rise to such a remarkable and glorious unity
and harmony that they can move as one to the glory of God?
Surely they know that their natural nature was crucified with Christ---
they know that they and their risen Christ will die no more---
so they reckon themselves to be dead to the sinful impulses
and inclinations of their natural body and mind. Freed from
having to obey their natural body and mind they no longer
offer themselves to the will of their natural body and mind,
but rather offer themselves to Jesus to be used, motivated
and worked in His will.>27 "There is no life except by death--
- . . .Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord
Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in
our mortal flesh. . .">28
What about newcomers to the family/fellowship? Questions
arise. Should newcomers be accepted? Why? How? Can we
afford yet another mouth? Do we want to share with yet
another? If we believe that whoever is born of God is led of
God, that if the same God leads one to apply that same God
would confirm that leading by leading the family/fellowship
members to accept that one in a peace that passes understan-
ding, giving them a miraculous peace of mind about it. God is
not the author of confusion, but of peace and harmony, His seal.
His work bears His seal. ". . .He granted a certain assurance
both to her and to us, so that her call should be among the
things that cannot be shaken.">29
So Amy and the fellowship of the Gold Cord made a decision.
"'Resolved together to accept all who offer who are manifestly
called of the Lord to join us, whether they have means or not.' .
'May you obtain strength and support to walk in paths unworn,
at the edge of precipices where God alone can keep us in
safety'. . . . Never do we go far on any path of perplexity or
pain without seeing the footsteps of Him who is invisible,
leading on before. . . 'The steps of faith fall on the seeming void
and find the rock beneath'; but the rock is hardly ever seen till
afterwards.">30
"Beloved, should the brook run dry
And should no visible supply
Gladden thine eyes, then wait to see
God work a miracle for thee.
Thou canst not want, for God has said
He will supply His own with bread. . .>30
"The verse which you want more than any other, and which
you had better make your whole Bible for the present, is that
wonderful passage in Deuteronomy---I led thee, and SUFFERED
YOU TO HUNGER, and fed thee with food that thou knewest not,
to teach thee that man does not live by bread alone---no, not
by what you and I think a necessary of life, that without which
we cannot live---love, success, fulfilled desire---BUT by
everything that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Most High,
whether that word . . . be failure or success, love or heart-
hunger, uselessness or abounding labour---by THAT does man
live. Our life is distinctly a supernatural life, and we are
always longing for a natural life, and God has let us go hungry
of the natural life, in order that we may enter into the
supernatural, and our wish be taken up in His.">31
As with the rich young ruler who loved what he had more
than what Jesus had to offer, there comes a time in the life of
every husband and wife when the Lord tries them to let them see
where they are in the Lord with their possessions. The question is,
"Will they be possessed by their possessions?" or "Will they be wise
and godly stewards of their possessions?" Where our treasure is,
there is our heart, whatever our treasure may be. The Lord
calls us to 2 Corinthians 8 and 9; Acts 4:32-37; 2:44-47.
MKJVActs 2: 44 And all who believed were together and had
all things common. 45 And they sold their possessions and
goods and distributed them to all, according as anyone had
need. 46 And continuing with one accord in the temple, and
breaking bread from house to house, they shared food with
gladness and simplicity of heart, 47 praising God and having
favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church
daily those who were being saved.
MKJVActs 4: 32 | And the multitude of those who believed
were of one heart and one soul. And not one said that any of
the things which he possessed was his own. But they had all
things common. 33 And the apostles gave witness of the
resurrection of the Lord Jesus with great power. And great
grace was on them all. 34 For neither was anyone needy among
them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold
[them] and brought the prices of the [things] that were sold,
35 and they laid [them] down at the apostles' feet. And
distribution was made to every man according as he had need.
MKJV 2Corinth.8:7 | But even as you abound in everything, in
faith, and in word, and in knowledge, and in all earnestness,
and in your love to us; you should abound in this grace also.
8 I do not speak according to command, but through the
eagerness of others, and testing the trueness of your love.
9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that,
though He was rich, for your sakes He became poor, in order
that you might be made rich through His poverty. 10 And in
this I give [my] judgment; for this is profitable for you, who
began before, not only to do, but also to be willing a year ago.
11 But now also finish the doing [of it], so that, as [there was]
a readiness to will, so also the finishing, [giving] out of [what]
you have. 12 For if the eagerness is present, [it is] acceptable
according to [what] one has, [and] not according to [what] one
does not have. 13 For [it is] not that others may [have] ease,
but you trouble; 14 but by equality in the present time; your
abundance for their need, that their abundance also may be for
your need; so that there may be equality; 15 as it is written,
"He [gathering] much, he had nothing left over; and he
[gathering] little did not have less."
MKJV2Corinth.9: 6 | But [I say] this, He who sows sparingly
shall also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully shall
also reap bountifully. 7 Each one, as he purposes in his heart,
[let him give]; not of grief, or of necessity, for God loves a
cheerful giver. 8 And God [is] able to make all grace abound
toward you, that in everything, always having all self-
sufficiency, you may abound to every good work; 9 As it is
written, "He scattered; he has given to the poor; his
righteousness remains forever." 10 Now He who supplies seed
to the sower, and bread for eating, may He supply and multiply
your seed, and increase the fruits of your righteousness 11 you
being enriched in everything to all generosity, which works out
thanksgiving to God through us.12 For the ministry of this
service not only supplies the things lacking of the saints, but
also multiplying through many thanksgivings to God, 13
through the proof of this ministry [they] glorify God for
your freely expressed submission to the gospel of Christ, and
the generosity of the fellowship toward them and toward all,
14 and [in] their prayer for you, who long after you, because
of the exceeding grace of God on you. 15 Thanks [be] to God for
His unspeakable free gift.
It is not natural or normal for humans to live out in practice
2 Corinth. 8 and 9 and Acts 4:32-37; 2:44-47. It takes the
enabling, leading and inner working and inner willing of the
Holy Spirit to be able to live these truths out in daily
practice, and I believe it takes the filling of the Holy Spirit to
be able live out the Acts 2 and 4 experience of having all
things in common, not claiming anything as our own, in
fellowship with other saints----and for sure for the members
of a complex family. In fact, any member of a
complex family or of a tight knit Christian fellowship, no
saint should be required to practice the communal
experience of Acts 2 and 4 if they do not have the Lord's
inner peace about it, free from doubts, fears and misgivings.
The sharing and equality of 2 Corinth. 8 and 9 are
commanded and required, but that communal sharing, I
believe, can only be maintained in practice by those who are
filled with the Spirit and emptied of self.
Among saints, He established the equality rule, the
precedent for which He established when He provided the
manna in the wilderness for the liberated Israelites. His
equality rule is stated quite clearly in 2 Corinth. 8:8-15
where he states, in part, " For I do not mean that others
should be eased and you burdened; but by an equality, that
now at this time your abundance may supply their lack, that
their abundance also may supply your lack---that there may
be an equality."
That is His rule for the Assembly, for the saints. The
practical application of it is 1 Jn 3:16,17 "By this we know
Love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also
ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever
has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and
shuts up his heart from him, how does the Love of God abide
in him? "The attitude of Jesus in us in the Body of Christ is
not "I owe you" or "You owe me". Our attitude is to be "My
abundance is for your lack, brother, that we may be equal. I
see your need brother and I share what I have for your
need." Hear this: "Now the multitude of those who believed
were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that
any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all
things in common. . .Nor was there anyone among them who
lacked . . .and they distributed to each as anyone had need."
(Acts 4:32-37; 2:44-47). That was His model for local
assemblies.
What a shame the local assemblies don't practice this!
What a testimony such a fellowship would have in this
selfish and self-centered society/world! But there is no
excuse for a godly couple in a Christian marriage to fail to
practice both the principal of equality and the principles of
"not claiming as his own the possessions that he has", of
"having all things in common". The assembly is one body in
Christ, but a husband and wife are one body in the assembly
and in the flesh! How great the marital failure of a so-
called Christian couple who each claim as their own their
possessions and refuse to have all things in common"! Theirs
is a pagan marriage.
Did I hear you think "But what about those in my family who
don't work, who refuse to work? The Word says "If anyone
does not wish to work, neither let him eat!" (2Thess3:6-14).
Read that again! "If anyone does NOT WISH TO work, neither
let him eat!" Those who are not to eat are those WHO
WONT WORK, WHO DO NOT WISH TO WORK! In practical
reality, in a Godly assembly, that means that any saint out of
work but seeking work and willing to work would be the
beneficiary of the principles of "not claiming as his own the
possessions that he has", of "having all things in common".
He would be eligible for and the recipient of the sharing and
providing of the saints. In a Godly marriage, if one mate
were unemployed but seeking work and willing to work, the
principles of equality and "not claiming as his own the
possessions that he has", of "having all things in common"
would be fully in force.
"When a soul sets out to find God it does not know whither
it will come and by what path it will be led; but those who
catch the vision are ready to follow the Lamb whithersoever
He goeth, regardless of what that following may involve for
them. And it is as they follow, obedient to what they have
seen, in this spirit of joyful adventure, that their path
becomes clear before them, and they are given the power to
fulfill their high calling. They are those who have the
courage to break through conventionalities, who care not at
all what the world thinks of them, because they are entirely
taken up with the tremendous realities of the soul and
God.">70
Am I prepared to count the cost and pay it with my life?
Am I willing to let the following be true of me and my life?
1. Loving Jesus with all my heart, all my strength, all my
mind and all my soul (personality) first and foremost
2. Unselfish and self-denying compassionate cherishing of all
who I know who Love Jesus
3. Truth, willingness for hard work, a freedom from the
dominance of money, and a very loving heart.
4. Bound together with others in Spirit by a shared vision
5. The desire for personal comfort is my enemy of the unity in
my family/fellowship.
6. Personally dead to the world and its applause,
To all the customs, fashions, laws,
Of those who hate the humbling Cross
7. I must answer the Spirit's call to build a godly family, by
Christ's inner working
8. I must be open to the leading and inner working of
Jesus, no matter how "unpractical">3.
9. I must die to myself and my own personal desires so that
Jesus can birth his Life and desires in me>4.
10. A lack of zeal and commitment to this Loving harmony is
fatal to the calling of a godly family living in unity and
harmony.
11. I need a Love that is willing to have both dirty hands and
calloused hands while praying or meditating on the Lord.
12. Loyalty to Jesus, even to the point of being willing to lay
down and sacrifice my own life for Him and His will
13.The most important expression of the family's Love is
unhindered prayer together for each other. I am praying.
14. There is a rule I carefully follow, "the absent must be
safe with us. Criticism, therefore, [must] be taboo.">14 Not
even "The Essence of But" can be a tolerated.
15. I have died to my own glory, died to my own rights,
and died to my own name (reputation). I have yielded
myself to Jesus as an instrument of His righteousness
for His energizing, His glory, His rights and His Name.
16. As a member of the family/fellowship I"must make
[myself] one with those [members of his family] whom [I] wish
to serve"
17.We were always, as it were, parts of one another. . .each
member lives for the good of the household. My commitment.
18.Those who would live in the blessed unity and harmony of
the Spirit must diligently "endeavor" to keep it with the wise
discernment of the Leading of the Spirit. My commitment.
19. The key "is refusal to be weakened or hardened or soured
or made hopeless by disappointment. 'His only absorbing
passion was to press on' . . I make it my absorbing passion.
20. I will learn the lesson of "willing acceptance of daily,
nightly perplexity and disappointment without explanation."
21. Finding that nothing is too much to ask of one another is to
know what our gold cord can be, a golden thing right through.
Make me that golden. Enable me to say "No" lovingly and gently
when asked to something doubtful or wrong.
22. The enemies' goal is to break the bond between those
bonded in Love, and to break the bond between He who is Love
and those who Love. So such a bond must be fought for, often
on a daily basis, as long as we are on earth in our mortal
bodies. Make me a fighter for such a bond.
23. For this bonded fellowship in a complex family or
fellowship one needs a life of unreserved devotion, a life
without fences between those in the fellowship. This is a
daily walk and discipline which requires "that the line so
often drawn between spiritual and secular has no place."
Make this life a reality in me.
24. Let us be directed as a company so that we can move
together in a harmony of spirit that is restful and very sure.
Make it so in me, Lord.
25. "'Resolved together to accept all who offer who are
manifestly called of the Lord to join us, whether they have
means or not.'" . By your almighty grace make this real in me.
26.MKJVActs 2: 44-47 And all who believed were together and
had all things common. And they sold their possessions and
goods and distributed them to all, according as anyone had
need. And continuing with one accord in the temple, and
breaking bread from house to house, they shared food with
gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God.
Make me so in my family and fellowship, Holy Father.
27.MKJVActs 4: 32 | And the multitude of those who believed
were of one heart and one soul. And not one said that any of
the things which he possessed was his own. But they had all
things common.
Please, Father, give me this heart, soul, mind and way.
"MY VOW.
Whatsoever Thou sayest unto me, by Thy grace I will" [to] "do
it.>71
MY CONSTRAINT.
Thy love, O Christ, my Lord.
MY CONFIDENCE.
Thou art able to keep that which I have committed unto Thee.
MY JOY.
To do Thy will, O God.
MY DISCIPLINE.
That which I would not choose, but which Thy love appoints.
MY PRAYER
Conform my will to Thine.
MY MOTTO.
Love to live: Live to love
MY PORTION.
The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance.
"Teach us, good Lord, to serve Thee more faithfully; to
give and not to count the cost; to fight and not to heed the
wounds; to toil and not to seek for rest; to labour and not to
ask for any reward, save that of knowing that we do Thy
will, O Lord our God.">71
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell
together in unity! Like the precious oil upon the head, that ran down
upon the beard, upon Aaron's beard, that ran down to the hem of his
garments; As the dew of Hermon that descends on the mountains of
Zion; for there has Jehovah commanded the blessing, life for
evermore." Psalm 133
"I, the prisoner in [the] Lord, exhort you therefore to walk worthy of
the calling with which you have been called, with all lowliness and
meekness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in Love;
using diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the uniting bond of
peace." Ephesians 4:1-3
"A new commandment I give to you, that you Love each other; as I
have Loved you, that you also love each other. By this shall all know
that you are My disciples, if you have Love for each other. "John 13:34,
35
###########################
** MKJV: MODERN KING JAMES VERSION, 1993, by Jay P. Green
Sr., in Online Bible 2.5.1; the OnLine Bible computer program of
"Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil 1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail:
khamel@aol.com].
>a Gold Cord The Story of a Fellowship, 1933-57, The Society
Promoting Christian Knowledge, London; Holy Trinity Church,
Marylebone Road, N.W.1; New York: Macmillan Company;
Christian Literature Crusade, Fort Washington, Penna. p. 344
>b Gold Cord p. 332
>c Gold Cord p. 278ff
>d Gold Cord p. 280
>e Gold Cord p. 280ff
>f Kahlil Gibran Gold Cord p.336
>g Gold Cord p. 86
>h Gold Cord p. 59
>1 Gold Cord p. 7
>2 Matt. 17:19-21; 18:18-20.
>3 Gold Cord p.8
>4 Gold Cord p.8 the seed falling to the ground, dying
and reborn as a fruitful plant.
>5 Gold Cord p. 10
>6 Gold Cord p.37
>7 Gold Cord p.42
>8 Gold Cord p. 48
>9 Gold Cord p.48ff
>10 Gold Cord p.49
>11 Gold Cord p.50
>12 Gold Cord p. 50
>13 Gold Cord p.50
>14 Gold Cord p.50
>15 Gold Cord p. 51
>16 Gold Cord p.52
>17 Gold Cord p.52
>18 Ephes. 4:1-3; Romans 8:9,14; Phil. 2:12,13,14.
>18a Gold Cord p. 284
>19 Gold Cord p. 75ff
>20 2 Corinth. 1; Gold Cord p. 165
>21 Gold Cord p. 154
>22 Gold Cord p. 156
>23 1 Samuel 20
>24 Gold Cord 158,159
>25 Gold Cord p. 160
>26 Gold Cord p. 183ff
>27 Romans 6 and Phil. 2:12,13
>28 Gold Cord p. 220
>29 Gold Cord p. 252
>30 Gold Cord p. 233
>31 Gold Cord p. 258
>70 Gold Cord p. 161
>71 "I will do it" changed to "I will [to] do it." to be in harmony
with James 4:13-17, "If the Lord wills, I will do it."
>72 Gold Cord pp. 161,162
These files are designed for (1) those who want to learn how to
unselfishly and compassionately cherish their women; (2) those who
have experienced divorce,to any degree, and are looking for Godly
and Biblical Judeo-Christian solutions and guidance on how to see
God redeem the experience; (3) those who are in, or considering,
polygynous relationships; (4) those who came to the Lord as
concubines and want to understand godly and Christian concubinage;
(5) those Black and minority believers who want reassurance that
indeed their color, their race, their nationality and/or their
appearance -- has no significant impact or affect on their relationship
with the incarnated, crucified, risen and soon to return Lord Jesus
Christ, the Messiah of Israel; (6) those who wish a deeper
understanding of God's will for and in their sexuality and any
problems they might be having with their sexuality; and for (7) those
who want more insight in joining Jesus and His angels in their
warfare against the evil spiritual beings who are causing problems for
mankind, including our loved ones. The following files are available
as described below. Please request any that seem interesting or of use
to you. All constructive and informative comments are welcome.
>>1. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? WHICH CAVE DID YOU
CRAWL OUT OF? Servant-leaders don't rule, but gently and
peacefully teach, exhort, model, encourage, compassionately rebuke
and cherish their wives unselfishly and compassionately.
["husbandwiferelations.txt"]
>>2. INFORMAL MARRIAGE and COMMON LAW MARRIAGE.
WHAT MAKES A Mariage/WEDDING? [as
"commonlaw.informal.marriage"]
>>3.INTERRACIAL,INTERETHNIC MARRIAGES AND
RELATIONSHIPS IN JESUS. Race and ethnicity have no place
signicantly influencing human interpersonal relationships, in the
Church, in society, in marriage. [ as "interracial=ethnic marriage"]
>>4. JESUS, IS HE GOD, JEHOVAH, THE SON OF GOD, THE
SON OF MAN, THE ONLY WAY TO GOD? Jesus and the
Trinity.[Available only by emial]
>>5. OATHS, FORMAL SWEARINGS, SOLEMN PROMISES,
COVENANTS AND JESUSMat. 5:33-37 (swear not all) and James
4:13-17 with James 5:12 (do not swear), what do these passages mean.
[as "keepingOne'sWord.txt"]
>>6. THE POWER FOR GOOD OF FEMININE BEAUTY AND
MALE HANDSOMENESS. We are stewards of these socially
significant gifts. See also Man's Need of Woman. [as
"feml.power.poly"]
>>7. RACISIM, ETHNOCENTRISM, NATIONALISM VS JESUS
Jesus vs racism, prejudice, bias, discrimination, favoritism,
bigotry . [as "racism.nationalism"]
>>8. UNDERAGE BURNING--THE FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT
WHO ARE NOT SUCCESSFULLY CONTROLLING THEMSELVES
SEXUALLY
What do I do if I am underage, too young to marry and a
financially dependent youth and I keep on blowing it sexually,
letting Jesus and myself down by not consistently controlling
myself sexually? [Available only by email]
>>9. UNEQUAL YOKE??? Do i look like a farmer?? So why
shouldn't I marry this unbelieving/unsaved person, or this
person who claims to be saved but has a sin problem????
[Available by email or by ftp as an appendix of a large file}
>>10. Why the Christian Woman Has Only One Husband? If men
practice polygyny, why shouldn't women practice polyandry?
What does the Bible say? [as "polyandry"]
>>11. WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY, IN JESUS, AND WITH
WHOM? An in depth look at 1 Corinthians 7:9,36; 1 Timothy 5:14ff;
and 1 Thessalonians 4:1-10, and the command to marry when burning.
[as "WhenToMarry",]
>>12. Angels,Demons, Spirits and You Today. [as
"YouAndAngels"]
>>13. Biblical Morality, Pornography, Sex etc. 118k A cross cultural
point of view from a Christian anthropogist. [ as "BiblicalPolyM
orality"]
>>14. The Black Family Crisis, and the Plight of the Black
Female. 40 % of Black women NEVER MARRY. Of the 60 % that do,
30% end in divorce and usually don't remarry successfully. The
number of marriageable Black women greatly exceeds the number of
marriageable Black men. Does the Bible deal with this? [as
"PlightOfBlkFem_Fam" (newer), or as "BlackFamPoly" (older),]
>>15. The Tithe and the Christian. Should we, and why? An
indepth Bible study. [Available by email only]
>>16. A Manual of Marital Intimacy for My Daughters.
Want to help me ? [Available by email only]
>>17. Why Do The Godly/Good Suffer? Does it pay to be
"good"? Why do the "good" suffer so much, so often?
[ as "LetterToFriend" ]
>>18. Divorce/Abandonment, How Can a Follower of Christ
Survive It? You love Jesus, but you find yourself divorced or
abandonned and you want to be married happily in the Lord,
what can you do? [ as "HowSurviveDivorce" (newer); or
"poly.and.divorce" (older)]
>>19. Keeping one's word. Vows, promises, covenants, oaths etc.
even when it hurts and costs dearly. [ as "KeepingOne'sWord".]
>>20. Matchmaker Resources for those seeking marriage.
>>21. Cherish Your Women, Part 1
Gleanings from Genesis on how to compassionately cherish your
women with a self-evaluation check off list.
>>22. Should prisoners be denied wholesome godly marital sex?
["prisoner.abuse]
>>23. Mini.poly: A condensed look at polygyny in the scriputes,
especially the Old Testament.
>>24. Quotes on Polygyny by St. Augustine and Biblical Scholars
["ChristianPoly". ]
>>25.DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, JESUS AND
GENUINE BELIEVERS ["DivorceRemarriageConcubines"]
>>26. POLYGYNOUS CHRISTIANS AND CHRITIAN
CONCUBINES ["PolygamyConcubines" (newer), or as
"polygyny.concubines" (older)]
>>27. Why Would the Christian Woman Share Her Husband?
["why.wife.share.husband" (newer), or as "poly.western.woman"
(older)]
>>28. What are the Christian leaders' objections to polygyny?
Please see some of the main pro's and the con's in this file
["objections2poly"]
>>29. No Wedding Vows! A file offering scriptural reasons for
using covenants rather than vows in one's wedding.
["noweddingvows"]
>>30. Is polygyny a Christian option? A discussion of polygyny
in the New Testament and in the Protestant reformation.
["christianpolytoday"]
>>31. What are the "keys" to living together in Loving unity?
Gleanings from Amy Carmichael and the Bible on what it takes
for a family or fellowship to realize this miracle. ["keys2lovingunity"
for Christian polygynists, "keys4LovingUnity for Christian
monogynists]
>>32. MY LOVE IS A GARDEN OF DELIGHTS! aka
SongOfSolomonPt1.txt, a 301k commentary on the Song of
Solomon, interracial marriage (his black-as-a-raven wife), and
Christian polygyny and concubines.
>>33. Prayers of Spiritual warfare for those who want to join the
fight for the souls of their loved ones. These are the prayers of the
Bible, inspired prayers of God's servants, adapted to the needs and
spiritual warfare you encounter as a servant of Christ in your service
to your loved ones and to Christ today. [Prayers4LovedOnes]
>>34. Legal Christian Polygamy. How do Christians who are called to
Christ in polygyny, or are called to polygyny in Christ, walk in a world
that condemns polygyny?
>>35. Man's Need of Woman. What every man with high testosterone
blood levels wishes his wife understood. The wife's help meet
ministry to her husband, or OH GOD! I NEED HER SOOOOO MUCH!
http://meetup.com/SanDiegoChristianPolygyny - - - - - - - - - 17
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Poly_Polygamy_Polygny_And_Jesus
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/BiblicalChristianPolygamyPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy2
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/women-sharing-one-man-maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://american-christian-polygynists.ning.com/
http://christianpatriarchs.ning.com/group/californiapolygynouspatriarchs
http://biblicalmarriagepolygyny.yuku.com/directory
http://polyfamilies.ning.com/profile/RTyler
http://biblicalchristianpolygyny.blogspot.com/
http://worldpolyamoryassociation.ning.com/group/biblical_christian_polygyny_polygamy
http://www.oldservant.u.yuku.com
http://www.kirkal.com/view_group.php?group_id=441
http://religiousfreedomofspeech.ning.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LynnAndLossRecovery
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyOption4ChristiansWithSTDs/
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygyny/ - - - 39
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygamy/ - - - 48
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christianpoly/ - - - small poly group for those who need privacy in their poly - request membership at elkanahtyler@gmail.com!
*********NEW AND REVISED*******
THE PRACTICE OF POLYGYNY IN AN HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT (CALIFORNIA, FOR EXAMPLE)
COPYRIGHT (c) 1997, 2002, 2009 BY L. TYLER
All rights reserved. Portions of this file/document may be posted/published as long as the paragraph of the portion, the paragraph before the portion and the paragraph after the portion are included without any additional breaks or spaces, and the source and author are included with the protion posted/published.
P.O.Box 620763
San Diego, CA92162-0763
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/BiblicalChristianPolygamyPolygyny
This file may be copied and distributed publicly if it is not changed.
PART ONE OF FOUR
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
#1. A legal polygynous covenant for a polygynous union event.
#2. An introduction to the laws and legal principles applicable to polygyny.
#3 Federal law and the practice of polygyny.
#4. California law and the practice of polygyny.
#5. The Biblical basis for diligent discretion in polygyny
#6.More legal polygynous wedding covenants/contracts
#1.AN AFFIRMATION AND COVENANT OF INTIMATE UNION FOR LIFE
*********HIS PART*****************
I,_________________, accept _______
as my own woman, before God and the angelic
witnesses here present. I do solemnly affirm,
declare and accept my responsibility before God to __________ as my own woman, in all
honor and love, in all service and duty, in all faith and tenderness, to live with, comfort, keep, unselfishly and compassionately cherish _____,according to the ordinance of Jesus Christ in the holy bond of our union before God. I accept the ordinance ofKing Jesus that indicates that any heterosexual intimacy of ours is to be experienced only within the holy bond of our union and according to His Word. I do solemnly affirm, declare and accept my responsibility in our union to be _________'s loving and faithful intimate partner, to love and to unselfishly cherish her in plenty and in want, in joy
and grief, in health and infirmity as long as we both shall live. I hereby leave and separate myself and my allegiance from my parents and family to loyally bond with ________ as one in our intimate union, submitting to each other according to the Word of God in the reverence of God. I commit myself to her with all of my heart, to live wisely with her; not domineering or
tyrannizing her but repectfully, unselfishly
cherishing her, feeding her the Word, holding her up in prayer, taking care of her and humbly leading her by my example, by the grace and enabling of Jesus Christ.
**************HER PART**********
I,_____________, accept _______________
as my own intimate partner for life, before God and the angelic witnesses here present. I do solemnly affirm, declare and accept my solemn responsibility in our union to ____ as my own intimate partner, in all honor and love, in all service and duty, in all
faith and tenderness, to live with, comfort, keep, unselfishly and compassionately cherish _____, according to the ordinance of Jesus Christ in the holy bond of this our covenanted and intimate union. I accept the ordinance of King Jesus that indicates that any heterosexual intimacy or ours is to be
experienced only within the holy bond of our
intimate and covenanted union and according to His Word. I do solemnly affirm, declare and accept my solemn responsibility in our union to be ______'s loving and faithful marital partner, to love and to unselfishly cherish him in plenty and in want, in joy and grief, in health and infirmity as long as we both shall live. I hereby leave and separate
myself and my allegiance from my parents and
family to loyally bond with ________ as one in
our intimate union, submitting to each other
according to the Word of God in the reverence
of God. I commit myself to him with all of my
heart, to live wisely with him to follow his lead in the Lord, showing him honor and respect in all matters.
************(in unison) ************
We covenant before God and all present, that we are intimate partners for life, bound together in our solemn and intimate union to be one flesh in the Lord until death part us. We covenant before God and His angels that it is our solemn and lifelong responsibility to unselfishly and compassionately cherish each other in our intimate union according to His Word, the Holy Bible, and to His glory and honor. Pray for us.
_________________________
The Couple's Signatures and Date
Witnessed by God and His holy angels.
or he writes out his part to her and she writes out her part to him and sign them.
#2. INTRODUCTION OF THE LAWS AGAINST POLYGYNY
Bigamy is the "criminal offense of willfully and knowingly contracting a second marriage (or going through the form of a second marriage) while the first marriage, to the knowledge of the offender, is still subsisting and undissolved.">a Bigamy is the "state of a man who has two wives, or of a woman who has two husbands living at the same time.">a
"A married person is guilty of bigamy, a misdemeanor, if he contracts or purports to contract another marriage, unless at the time of the subsequent marriage . . . . . the actor reasonably believes that he is legally eligible to remarry." Model Penal Code #230.1 >a [>a Deluxe Black's Law Dictionary, p. 163, West Publishing Co. St. Paul, MN]
Polygamy: "A person is guilty of polygamy, a felony of the third degree, if he marries or cohabits with more than one spouse at a time in purported exercise of the right of plural marriage. The offense is a continuing one until all cohabitation and claim of marriage with more than one spouse terminates. This section does not apply to parties to a polygamous marriage, lawful in the country of which they are residents or nationals, while they are in transit through or temporarily visiting this state." Model Penal Code #230.1>b [>b Deluxe Black's Law Dictionary, p. 1159, West Publishing Co. St.
Paul, MN]
The sticky issue in the WEST/OCCIDENT is that "a married person is guilty of bigamy, a misdemeanor,"
a) if he SIGNIFIES that he is contracting another marriage while he is still married to another.
b) if he IMPLIES that he is contracting another marriage while he is still married
c) if he CLAIMS OR PROFESSES to be contracting another marriage while still married
d) if he engages in a wedding/marriage given in other than the exact words.
In the WEST/OCCIDENT, "person is guilty of polygamy, a felony of the third degree , if he marries . . . more than one spouse at a time"
a) SIGNIFYING that is exercising the right of plural marriage.
b) IMPLYING that he is exercising the right of plural marriage.
c) CLAIMING/PROFESSING to be exercising the right of plural marriage.
d) engaging in the exercise of the right of plural marriage using other than the exact words of marriage or of a wedding.
In the WEST/OCCIDENT, A "person is guilty of polygamy, a felony of the third degree , if he . . . cohabits with more than one spouse at a time"
a) SIGNIFYING that is exercising the right of plural marriage.
b) IMPLYING that he is exercising the right of plural marriage.
c) CLAIMING/PROFESSING to be exercising the right of plural marriage.
d) engaging in the exercise of the right of plural marriage using other than the exact words of marriage or of a wedding.
I understand these provisions to mean that anyone who wants to practice polygyny in the WEST/OCCIDENT must not publicly, or in writing,
a) SIGNIFY that he/she is contracting another marriage while still married to another.
b) IMPLY that he/she is contracting another marriage while still married
c) CLAIM/PROFESS to be contracting another marriage while still married
d) engage in a "wedding/marriage" given in other than the exact words (see the alternatives to the use of loaded words like "wedding/marriage" in union celebrations or union ceremonies)
e) SIGNIFY that he/she is exercising "the right of plural marriage."
f) IMPLY that he/she is exercising "the right of plural marriage."
g) CLAIM/PROFESS to be exercising "the right of plural marriage."
h) engage in the exercise of "the right of plural marriage" using other than the exact words of "marriage" or of a "wedding". (There must be no claim to the right of plural marriage in the union celebration, no claim to the right to exercise plural marriage in the union celebration, no use of synonyms for "marriage" [matrimony, wedlock, etc.] or for "wedding" [marriage, nuptials etc.]).
i) cohabit with more than one spouse at a time, SIGNIFYING that he/she is exercising the right of plural marriage.
j) cohabit with more than one spouse at a time, IMPLYING that he is
exercising the right of plural marriage.
k) cohabit with more than one spouse at a time, CLAIMING/PROFESSING to be exercising the right of plural marriage.
l) cohabit with more than one spouse at a time, engaging in the exercise of the right of plural marriage using other than the exact
words of marriage or of wedding for the relationship or event. (There must be no claim to the right of plural marriage in the cohabitation, no claim to the right to exercise plural marriage in the cohabitation, no use of synonyms for "marriage" [matrimony, wedlock, etc.] or for "wedding" [marriage, nuptials etc.] in the cohabitation.)
"The showing of minimal numbers of prosecutions does not establish an abandonment of the State's laws or an irrational revival of them here. . . . . Mere failure to prosecute other offenders is no basis for a finding of denial of equal protection." (See U.S. v. Salazar, 1983. P. 107) The courts follow the waves and tides of society. Right now it is neither important , popular or cost efficient to prosecute bigamy/ polygyny cases now. The tide can turn at any time. If you believe in the cycles of our culture as I do, you now how well the cultural tide can turn. Consider the following:
1700- 1730, 1800 - 1830 and 1900- 1930 were times of majority rule and the minorities be damned. If you were a woman or a minority, watch out and step back. It was a time of heavy handed rule by the majority for the majority. Many of the majority indulged themselves excessively and at the expense of the minorities. It was a cultural Catholic and WASP world, a time of ghettos for the minorities, who were thankful when the majority left them alone or ignored them.
THE PENDULUM HAD SWUNG TO FAR CONSERVATIVE SIDE.
1730 -1750, 1830 -1850 and 1930 - 1950 were periods when the government faced a series of crises that kept it from dealing with major wrongs in society. The government was doing well if it could just keep the lid on the pot of society. It was not a time of minority rights because women, Jews, minority races and ethnic minorities essentially had no government recognized rights other than those for all in the Constitution, but their rights were ignored in "benign neglect". The government was too busy coping with wars, collapsing economies and a struggle to keep the country unified.
1750 - 1770, 1850-1870 and 1950-1970 were periods of great social turmoil and dramatic cultural crises resulting in legislated reforms and moves towards democratic goals.
THE PENDULUM HAD SWUNG TO THE LIBERAL SIDE.
1770 - 1790, 1870 - 1890 and 1970 - 1990 were periods of general malaise and disillusionment with the reforms and democratic advances of the '50's - '70's. The dreams died and many of the new and more democratic laws suffered from "benign" neglect. An erosion of personal liberties began, but things didn't become as bad as they were before the reforms. The people turn inward, more preoccupied with themselves and their issues than the culture's issues. They werere burnt out and tired of cultural reforms and movements.
1790 - 1810, 1890 - 1910 and 1990 -2010, if the cycle continues to hold true, the rights of minorities will almost be totally neglected by an exhausted and self-centered population AND THE PENDULUM WILL SWING TO THE HARD CONSERVATIVE SIDE. The individual will
have to survive the best he can in a cold and uncaring world---unless China or Russia ignite World War III and the great war of Revelations
Six ushers in the Tribulation, with scenario #1, one third of the world's population dying within a month of the outbreak of The War; or scenario #2, one third of the midEast's population dying within one month of such a war.
Whatever the scenario, we who believe in polygyny, and especially those who practice it need to think defensively and think survival in a world that grows colder, harder, more insensitive and more evil day by passing day. If I were practicing polygyny, especially if I were raising children in polygyny, I would take every precaution, every defensive measure and exercise every discretion to protect my loved ones and my home from the packs of wolves and hyenas that are out there waiting for us to make an unnecessary mistake that would expose and our loved ones to their fangs, to the great pain and loss of our loved ones. We must be wiser than serpents and foxes, yet harmless as doves and sheep, remembering how easy doves and sheep die. Thank God that we are doves and sheep indwelled and shepherded by the Lord Jesus Christ, the thankful possessors of eternal life and the hope of living eternally with the God who is Unselfish and Compassionate
Cherishing, Truth, Light, Life and the Way.
#3. FEDERAL LAW AND THE PRACTICE OF POLYGYNY
Federal Law (Federal Reporter, 2d Series, #760, pp. 1065-1071):"Utah was justified, by compelling interest, in upholding and enforcing ban on plural marriage to protect monogamous marriage relationships." (U.S.C.A. Const. Amends 1,14)
In Reynolds v. U.S., 98 US (8 otto) 145, 25, L.ED. 244 (1878; p. 1068), "the Supreme Court affirmed a criminal conviction of a Mormon for practicing polygamy, and rejected the argument that Congress' prohibition of polygamy violated the defendant's right to the free exercise of religion."
Reynolds v. United States, 98 U.S. 145 (1878) - Court finds that the federal law prohibiting polygamy, which was challenged by a Mormon defendant, to be constitutional. Polygamy was outlawed. In the 1972 Yoder case, "The Supreme Court has recognized the continued validity of [the] REYNOLDS [case]."
“Reynolds v. United States was decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1879. . . . . (98 U.S. [1879]). The Reynolds decision distinguished between religious opinions and religious practices, leaving the former free while allowing for government regulation of the latter (see Civil Rights; Legal and Judicial History of the Church).”
The Edmunds-Tucker ANTI-POLYGAMY ) Act of 1887 makes illegal in every Territory of the U. S. the act of polygamy. That law is still in force. It was passed by both houses of congress by a majority vote..”the Edmunds law of 1882 was passed - which made unlawful cohabitation a crime.” It established legal precedent for the illegality of polygamy. “In 1882 Congress passed the Edmunds Act, which was actually a series of amendments to the Morrill Act. It restated that polygamy was a felony punishable by five years of imprisonment and a $500 fine. Unlawful cohabitation, which was easier to establish because the prosecution had to prove only that the couple had lived together rather than that a marriage ceremony had taken place, remained a misdemeanor punishable by six months imprisonment and a $300 fine. . . . Because the Edmunds Act was unsuccessful in controlling polygamy in Utah, in 1884 Congress debated legislation to plug the loopholes. Finally, in 1887, the "hodge-podge" Edmunds-Tucker Bill passed. It required plural wives to testify against their husbands, . . “
[http://historytogo.utah.gov/historyofpolygamy.html]
1890 P / B U.S. Davis v Beason, 133 U.S. 333 Basically part of the overall Mormon cases Bigamy polygamy cases followed the Reynolds reasoning i.e., civil law. (cited 5 times in The Myth of Separation)
“U.S. Supreme Court
DAVIS v. BEASON, 133 U.S. 333 (1890)
133 U.S. 333
DAVIS v. BEASON, Sheriff.
February 3, 1890
“Mr. Justice FIELD, after stating the facts as above, delivered the opinion of the court.
SNIP
“Bigamy and polygamy are crimes by the laws of all civilized and Christian countries. They are crimes by the laws of the United States, and they are crimes by the laws of Idaho. . . . To call their [133 U.S. 333, 342] advocacy a tenet of religion is to offend the common sense of mankind. If they are crimes, then to teach, advise, and counsel their practice is to aid in their commission, and such teaching and counseling are themselves criminal, and proper subjects of punishment, as aiding and abetting crime are in all other cases.
SNIP
“However free the exercise of religion may [133 U.S. 333, 343] be, it must be subordinate to the criminal laws of the country, passed with reference to actions regarded by general consent as properly the subjects of punitive legislantion.
SNIP
“ . . . So here, as a law of the organization of society under the exclusive dominion of the United States, it is provided that plural marriages shall not be allowed. . . . “
Cleveland v. United States, 329 U.S. 14 (1946) - Court rules that transporting a woman across state lines to enter into a plural marriage, even if motivated by a religious belief is illegal.
U.S. Supreme Court
MUSSER V. UTAH , 333 U.S. 95 (1948)
333 U.S. 95
MUSSER et al.
v.
STATE OF UTAH.
No. 60.
Reargued Jan. 5, 1948.
Decided Feb. 9, 1948.
“ The crucial question, which the case was brought to this Court to review, is [333 U.S. 95 , 99] whether the state supreme court has construed the Utah statute to authorize punishment for exercising the right of free speech protected by the First and Fourteenth Amendments to the Federal Constitution. . . .
the charge was not restricted to a claim that appellants had conspired to urge particular violations of the law. Instead, the information as construed by the state court broadly condemned the conspiracy to advocate and urge the practice of polygamy.
. . . The Utah statute was construed to proscribe any agreement to advocate the practice of polygamy. . . . The Constitution requires that the statute be limited more narrowly. At the very least the line must be drawn between advocacy and incitement, and even the state's power to punish incitement may vary with the nature of the speech, whether persuasive or coercive, the nature of the wrong induced, whether violent or merely offensive to the mores, and the degree of probability that the substantive evil actually will result. See Bridges v. California, 314 U.S. 252 , 262, 263, 193, 194, 159 A.L.R. 1346. . . . But the other extreme position, that the state may prevent any conduct which induces people to violate the law, or any advocacy of unlawful activity, cannot be squared with the First Amendment.”
[ Footnote 8 ] 'But even advocacy of violation, however reprehensible morally, is not a justification for denying free speech where the advocacy falls short of incitement and there is nothing to indicate that the advocacy would be immediately acted on.' Mr. Justice Brandeis, concurring in Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 at 376 at page 648.
[http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=333&invol=95]
In YODER (p.1069), the court cited REYNOLDS in support of the proposition that it "is true that activities of individual's, even when religiously based, are often subject to regulation by the states in the exercise of this undoubted power to promote the .. . . . general welfare, or the Federal Government in the exercise of its delegated powers." The Reynolds case against polygyny/bigamy was reaffirmed in 1983 (Bob Jones Univ. v. U.S.).
>>The Court has already made up its mind that, in the USA, you may not practice polygyny as a right in the free exercise of your religion.
"Since Yoder [1972], the Court has said that statutes "making bigamy a crime surely cut into an individual's freedom to associate, but few today seriously claim such statutes violate the First Amendment or any Constitutional provision." YODER p. 1069
In 1978, the Steward and J. & Powell decisions concurred in the judgment that the "state may legitimately say that no one who has a living husband or wife can marry. . . . the state has the undeniable interest in insuring that its rules of domestic relations reflect widely held values of its people. . . . . " YODER p. 1069 Majority rule, or majority sentiment or majority values RULE and we all know how the majority feels (especially the majority of women) about bigamy and polygyny. Give this rule of law, it is futile to attempt to get the Supreme Court, or any state, to change its provision. Bigamists and polygynists are the minority, and neither a recognized nor a protected minority. We must live our lives wisely in an hostile environment, and not expect or ask for society's help or recognition.
"After Reynolds, though before Yoder, the Supreme Court upheld Mann Act convictions for transporting at least one plural wife across state lines either to cohabit with her or to aid another person in such a project, despite a challenge based on the Free Exercise Clause." (See Cleveland vs. U.S., 3294514, in 1946). p. 1070
In State v. Barlow (107 Utah 292-1944), "The Utah Supreme Court rejected the defendant's free exercise challenge and affirmed their convictions for cohabitating with more than one person of the opposite sex." The U.S. Supreme Court dismissed the defendant's appeal of the Utah Supreme Court decision. p. 1070
"We find no authority for extending the Constitutional right to privacy so far that it would protect polygamous marriages. We decline to do so." 1985, see Roe v. Wade. p. 1070
>>>In such a state or where ever there exits a law against cohabiting with more than one person of the opposite sex, wisdom would decree that each wife would have to have her own studio/cottage/cabin following the African polygyny model where the husband would make the rounds visiting his wives dwelling in a fair and equitable manner to fulfill his "duty of marriage" with each. With today's economy and prices two female mates (of their own man) might go together and live in a one bedroom or studio apartment. All could still come together in one place for meals, fellowship, prayer and fun without violating the laws against cohabiting with more than one woman. Again, I believe all the taboo words must be religiously and conscientiously avoided (wife, husband, marriage, wedding, spouse etc.) in such a hostile environment.
The "Constitutional right of privacy prevents the state from criminalizing the non-prostitutional heterosexual activities of two unmarried consenting adults when such activities occur in privacy of home." Duling, 603 F. Supp. 960 (E.D. Va 1985). p. 1071 It behooves American polygynists that are legally married to be legally UNMARRIED AND CONSENTING with any other covenanted sexual partners they may have, exercising their polygyny in the privacy of their home, sexually, verbally and editorially.
“To the extent, if any, that this opinion permits the imposition of adverse consequences upon mere abstract advocacy of polygamy, it has of course been overruled by later cases. See Brandenburg v. Ohio, 395 U. S. 444 (1969) (per curiam). But the proposition that polygamy can be criminalized, and those engaging in that crime deprived of the vote, remains good law. See Richardson v. Ramirez, 418 U. S. 24, 53 (1974). . . . Modern laws framed to protect homosexuals from discrimination are fundamentally at odds in principal and precedent with existing laws enacted in the previous century discriminating against polygamists. Using Justice Scalia's word, laws that discriminate against polygamists on the basis of their belief in and practice of polygamy seem to be "unconstitutional" when compared to recent Supreme Court rulings. ” [Supreme Court Of The United States
No. 94-1039
Roy Romer, Governor Of Colorado, ET AL., Petitioners
v. Richard G. Evans ET AL.
On Writ Of Certiorari To The Supreme Court Of ColoradoThe "Constitutional right of privacy prevents the state from criminalizing the non-prostitutional heterosexual activities of two
unmarried consenting adults when such activities occur in privacy of home." Duling, 603 F. Supp. 960 (E.D. Va 1985). p. 1071
It behooves American polygynists that are legally married to be legally UNMARRIED AND CONSENTING with any other covenanted sexual partners they may have, exercising their polygyny in the privacy of their home, sexually, verbally and editorially. In the kingom of people, legally, to the public and for the public record the Biblically polygynous must appear to be non-prostitutional, heterosexual, unmarried, consenting and adults. In the Kingdom of God they must be married, but the Kingdom of God does not require a public, legal or state acknowledged wedding/marriage.
As to conspiring or inciting to commit the "crime" of polygyny:
Musser v. Utah 333 US 95 (1947)
Decision of the Court: The defendants of this case were accused of committing acts which amount to conspiring to counsel, advise and practice plural marriage.
"IF IT WERE TRUE THAT NONE OF THE DEFENDANTS DID ANYTHING OTHER THAN TO ATTEND MEETINGS AS INDICATED ABOVE (SEE NOTE 3 SUPRA), EXPRESSING DISAGREEMENT WITH SOME OTHER DENOMINATION, CRITICIZING LEGISLATION, AND GIVING OPINIONS ON RELIGIOUS SUBJECTS, NONE OF THE CONVICTIONS COULD BE
UPHELD. THE RIGHT OF FREE SPEECH CANNOT BE CURTAILED BY INDIRECTION THROUGH A CHARGE OF CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY." 110 UTAH 533, 552, 175 P.2D 724, 734.
HOWEVER THE COURT HELD "THAT AN AGREEMENT TO ADVOCATE, TEACH, COUNSEL, ADVISE AND URGE OTHER PERSONS TO PRACTICE POLYGAMY AND UNLAWFUL COHABITATION, IS AN AGREEMENT TO COMMIT ACTS INJURIOUS TO PUBLIC MORALS WITHIN THE SCOPE OF THE CONSPIRACY STATUTE." 110 UTAH 533, 546-547,
So AN AGREEMENT TO ADVOCATE, TEACH, COUNSEL, ADVISE AND URGE OTHER PERSONS TO PRACTICE the non-prostitutional, heterosexual COHABITATION of two unmarried and consenting adults is NOT A CRIME. AN AGREEMENT TO ADVOCATE, TEACH, COUNSEL, ADVISE AND URGE OTHER PERSONS TO PRACTICE the non-prostitutional, heterosexual COHABITATION of MORE THAN two unmarried and consenting adults is POTENTIALLY A CRIME IF THE STATE SO LEGISLATES AND THAT LAW WOULD BE UPHELD BY THE SUPREME COURT UNDER EXISTING PRECEDENTS. This tells me that a polygynous husband must be and live with only one wife at a time, the wives living in separate dwellings.
AS TO the homosexual case of JOHN GEDDES LAWRENCE and TYRON GARNER,
PETITIONERS v. TEXAS
on writ of certiorari to the court of appeals of
texas, fourteenth district
[June 26, 2003]
Justice Kennedy delivered the opinion of the Court.
SNIP
The present case does not involve minors. It does not involve persons who might be injured or coerced or who are situated in relationships where consent might not easily be refused. It does not involve public conduct or prostitution. It does not involve whether the government must give formal recognition to any relationship that homosexual persons seek to enter. The case does involve two adults who, with full and mutual consent from each other, engaged in sexual practices common to a homosexual lifestyle. The petitioners are entitled to respect for their private lives. The State cannot demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime. Their right to liberty under the Due Process Clause gives them the full right to engage in their conduct without intervention of the government. "It is a promise of the Constitution that there is a realm of personal liberty which the government may not enter." Casey, supra, at 847. The Texas statute furthers no legitimate state interest which can justify its intrusion into the personal and private life of the individual.
SNIP
The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Texas Fourteenth District is reversed, and the case is remanded for further proceedings not inconsistent with this opinion.
This teills me we may safely practice our polygyny as long as it does not involve public conduct, formal recognition of any relationship, more than two adults fully and mutually consenting to engage in sexual relations in their own personal and private lives.
May 20, 1996]
End of Part one of four
PART TWO OF FOUR
#4. CALIFORNIA LAW AND THE PRACTICE OF POLYGYNY
“The constitutions of several states, in providing for religious freedom, have declared expressly that such freedom shall not be construed to excuse acts of licentiousness, or to justify practices inconsistent with the peace and safety of the state Thus, the constitution of New York of 1777 provided as follows: 'The free exercise and enjoyment of religious profession and worship, without discrimination or preference, shall forever hereafter be allowed, within this state, to all mankind: provided, that the liberty of conscience hereby granted shall not be so construed as to excuse acts of licentiousness, or justify practices inconsistent with the peace or safety of this state.' Article 38. The same declaration is repeated in the constitution of 1821, (article 7, 3,) and in that of 1846, (article 1, 3,) except that for the words 'hereby granted,' the words 'hereby secured' are substituted. The constitutions of California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, and South Carolina contain a similar declaration. “
[1890 P / B U.S. Davis v Beason, 133 U.S. 333 ]
California Law: (#284) "Every person who knowingly and willfully marries the husband or wife of another . . . . is punishable by fine not less than $5000 or by imprisonment in state prison." (7/1/'97) Again we see the need for all parties to a polygynous relationship should be legally single, not legally married. It is simply a precaution against this kind of prosecution/persecution. State prison is Hell and is daily filled with life threatening experiences, even on the less violent classification levels, and should be avoided at all costs.
"Bigamy is punishable by a fine not exceeding $10,000 or by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year or in the state prison." (#283 Calif. Penal Code; 9/27/'83; operative 1/1/'84) One should not be so selfish and cavalier as to jeopardize their family unity, their emotional, intimate and sexual union, for the "cause" of polygyny. It is not worth the hardship of loss and separation to you and your loved ones to be put in jail for practicing your belief in polygyny that violates the specific laws of society. It is a wiser course to practice one's faith, including polygyny, "striving to live peacably with all men", seeking to give offense to no one, by practicing it as instructed in Romans 14, i.e. privately , discretely and with great discernment so as not to unnecessarily stumble or offend our weaker brethren who are still bound by the laws and traditions of men.
To pracitce polygyny in California today, you must not:
>> 1. Be legally married to more than one "wife" at the same time (CA Criminal Law #820)
>> 2. Be married in an officially recognized ceremony to more than one "wife" at one time (CA Criminal Law 822; Fam Law #66))
>> 3. Be married in a state or publicly recognized common-law marriage to more than one wife at the same time (CL 822; Fam Law
#65 & #66). Public here means the general public, not polygynous families who join you in a covenanting event.
>> 4. Be married by state license to more than one mate at the same time (CL822)
>> 5. Be solemnized in marriage to more than one wife at the same time by an official recognized by the state (CL822). If the polygynous "marriage" is "solemnized" by ceremony, rite or ritual, the words "wife", "husband" and "marriage" should be avoided carefully (a good thesaurus will help. See the
appendix. See Fam Law#65).
>> 6. Be authenticated in marriage to more than one wife at the same time (in polygyny) in any way acceptable to the state
(CL822)
>> 7. File the marriage certificate of registry with the state, for your polygynous marriage. (CL822)
>> 8. Conclude in an official civil manner or legally your "marriage" in polygyny. (CL824)
>> 9. Publicly cohabit as husband and wife, publicly and mutually, assuming marital rights, duties and obligations, including sexual relations with more than one wife at the same time.(CL825) [Public here is the general public, not one's polygynous associates. Even though they may not cohabit as husband and wife, they may cohabit as man and woman, man and his own woman, exclusive lovers, exclusive love/life partners, exclusively devoted lovers, a man and his covenant woman/lover/partner/pal, or viceversa for all the above (e.g. a woman and her own man).]
>> 10. Have the reputation in a community of being married, nor deport yourselves in the neighborhood as husband and wife (Fam Law 61 & 62). Specifically you must not allow/permit/encourage common, general, uniform, and undivided repute among witnesses/
neigbors that you are married to more than one mate at the same time. (Fam Law#65, Re Estate of Gill; Hite v. Hite; Re Estate of Baldwin). The reputation of being a man with more than one woman/lover would be legal.
>> 11. Have any one other than the actual parties of the polygynous uniting present at the "uniting" ceremony (Fam Law 62), since every witness of the "uniting" is a possible "witness" of the polygynous uniting in a bigamy trial. See # 5 above. If they are willing to take the chance, there would be relative safety in having other polygynously "united" couples present. I don't see any problem with witnesses at a "covenant event", "union ceremony", or "bonding ceremony" (not wedding ceremony, see ch. 3). It would be foolish and risky to invite or inform the monogynous and/or the opponents of polygyny to any such uniting event. It only takes one witness to files criminal charges.
A man and his women who practice polygyny in Calif. must realize that the admissions of polygyny by one of his mates is hard evidence for the state in a felony bigamy case. The "testimony by a party to one of the marriages in issue" (People v. Van Wie/O'Neal/Rauch) is hard evidence. The danger of this can be reduced by a prenuptial witnessed contract in which they bind themselves to be responsible for the payment of all attorney fees of all parties involved if one of them should ever admit practicing polygyny in such a way that their admission or testimony results in litigation, criminal or civil; and agreeing to the sale of all their present and future possessions to pay for such attorney fees and all costs incurred by the one being prosecuted/litigated for polygyny as the result of such an admission.
The testimony of any witness to a polygynous uniting is such evidence (People v. Stokes/ DuFault). The testimony of witnesses of the polygynous mates' cohabitation and their reputation of "being married" is such hard evidence (People v. Beevers/DuFault). This can be avoided by making no public claim that you all are husband and wives, by publicly introducing and presenting you and your mates as exclusive lovers, covenanted lovers or a man and his own women etc. and making sure to use a covenant like the one at the end of this article. Traditional wedding rings on the wedding ring finger should not be used on the wedding ring finger since they are a public statement of marriage. A wooden ring or a braided ring on the wedding finger could be sufficient for the polygynous. But all life is full risks and there is always the possiblity of a Judas in the crowd in every gathering. One who opposes polygyny should never be invited or made aware of a polygynous uniting. For those who feel led to enter into polygyny in California, they must do so at their own risk and they must do it very prudently, counting the cost before entering into it.
To be polygynous in California, your "marriages" must be without benefit of the civil law, its protection and its requirements. It is best if none of the members of a polygynous marriage is legally/ officially married to the husband of the family (Fam Law58). There is no law against two or more single people living together and having sex together, so a polygynous family can take on this appearance/manifestation. The second or etc. covenanted woman in a polygynous marriage can neither have nor seek protection or recognition of marital rights or obligations by the state. The state and the public must not know the true nature of the polygynous relationship.
Rights and responsibilities may be drawn up and agreed to in a private, but a witnessed contract (see examples below) could be used, carefully avoiding the use of words like "husband" or "wife" or "marriage". Such a contract must not have any language that represents or presents the parties involved as husband and wife or wives. Property rights, money distribution, bill payment, financial responsibilities, child rearing duties, sexual relations, inheritances, house keeping duties etc. can all be covered by a witnessed (by God or by humans) contract/covenant between the parites involved. I believe that every "wife" in polygyny should be given the "power of attorney" in all matters of her own man in the event of his incapacity or hospitalization, and every man in polygyny should be given the "power of attorney" in all matters of each of his ow women. Of course all parties involved should have carefully drawn up wills or living trusts covering the disposition of their property and children in the event of their death or incapacity.
There can be no state recognized ceremony or documents or documentation. There can be no state recognized common law marriage of the parties involved in the polygynous relationship. As stated in Hebrews 11:13-16, our citizenship is in the heavenlies in the spiritual realm and we await the City of God. So instead of being licensed by the state, Christian polygynists must get the permission to marry from their King, the Lord Jesus Christ. Instead of being solemnized by an official of the state, the polygynous marriage must be solemnized by the presence of God, His angels and His children. His Word that He hates covenant breaking (Malachi 2) and that He hates the break up of marriages----that Word gives all the necessary solemnity to a sincere exchange of marital covenants between the polygynous man and his own woman. The fact that He knows our hearts, the thoughts and intents of our hearts, makes Him the only One Who can really authenticate such a polygynous relationship. Nothing needs to filed with God since He was there as witness and every word said and every thought imagined are a matter of record with Him.
To conclude your polygynous uniting with cohabitation requires great discretion on the part of those involved. They may not present themselves as "husband" and "wives" to society in general and their neighbors in particular (Boyd v. Boyd, 1962, CrimLaw825). A polygynous husband must not address his own polygynous woman as wife in public, in introductions or even in writing to those not intimately involved in the polygynous relationship. Romans 14:16-23, especially verse 22, makes it real clear that the practice of such controversial things requires secrecy and discretion on the part of those who have the liberty to practice it. To the world they may be only man and mistress, or boy friend and girl friends shacking up. If the women have their own separate residence, then when their own man comes to visit etc. he would be presented/introduced as their own man, or their own devoted and covenanted lover. Only in the circles of their polygynous confidants and supporters may they be recognized as "husband" and "wife", even though those words are not used.
In California "It is no defense to a charge of bigamy that the doctrines and practice of polygamy are a part of the religion of the accused" (Reynolds v. U.S.; Davis v. Beason). Polygyny in California
may not take the form of Common Law marriage, nor may it involve the public presentation of the parties involved as husband and wife/ wives. To practice polygyny in California, you may not publicly address your own polygynous mate(s) as wife and she (they) should not publicly address you as husband.
But what is in the word "wife"? Isn't it the relationship, the covenants that make the marriage, and not the words "husband and wife"? If a wife in polygyny knows that her husband is an honorable man before the Lord, a man of integrity, a man who honors his word and his commitments, then she will feel just as much his wife when he introduces her as, or calls her "my Beloved", "my Darling", "my Lover", "my Lady", "my darling Helpmeet", "Blessed Companion", "the Queen of my heart", etc. instead of "my wife".
If a husband in polygyny knows that his mate in polygyny is an honorable woman before the Lord, a woman of integrity, a woman who honors her word and her commitments, then he will feel just as much her husband when she introduces him as, or calls him "My own Man", "My Mate", "Beloved", "my Companion", my Partner" etc. instead of "my husband". There are many names for a wife and a husband other than "wife" and "husband". Love and creativity can join forces to develop names that are uniquely yours in your marriage that speak to you of the intimate and confidential nature of your polygynous relationship. It is the covenant before God that makes the relationship, not the names or titles.
One must be extremely careful when polygynously courting. If the relationship goes bad, the offended party has hard evidence of your intention to get that party to engage in "the crime of polygyny". All of the legally sensitive words mentioned above should be avoided when describing one's marital status or intentions in all correspondence, email and phone communications. You should not make hard evidence that you intend to engage in "the crime of polygyny", that you have engaged in it, or that you are engaged in it. Romans 14:19-23 should be observed in this matter at all times with all parties, carefully, privately and discretely guarding your personal liberty to be polygynous.
END OF PART TWO OF FOUR PARTS.
#5. THE BIBLICAL BASIS FOR DILIGENT DISCRETION IN POLYGYNY
(From my Divorce & Polygyny file at http://www.etext.org/Religious.Texts/Polyamory )
MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A LOVING CONSCIENCE!
Surely Romans 13 and related passages apply. And certainly the principles of Romans 14 and l Cor 8 & 10 apply. The following is a brief summary of those principles, introduced by an application of 1 Cor 10:
¶ All things are lawful, but all are not profitable; all things are lawful, but all do not edify. Let no one seek his own advantage, but that of the other.
>>>Practice every form of Biblical marriage<<<, making no inquiry for conscience sake.
26 For the earth is the Lord’s and its fulness.
27 But if any one of the unbelievers invite you, and ye are minded to go, >>>practice your form of Biblical marriage<<<, making no inquiry for conscience sake. But if any one say to you, ">>>Your marriage is contrary to the law of man and/or God in my opinion and belief<<<, do not >>>practice your controversial marriage before him/her<<<, for his sake that pointed it out, and conscience sake;
but conscience, I mean, not thine own, but that of the other: for why is my liberty >>>to practice polygyny<<< judged by another's conscience?
If *I* partake >>>in Biblical polygyny<<< with thanksgiving, why am I spoken evil of for what *I* give thanks for? Whether therefore you >>>are celibate, monogynous or polygynous<<<, or whatever ye do, do all things to God’s glory. Give no occasion to stumbling, whether to Jews, or Greeks, >>>to the celibate or the monogynous<<< nor the assembly of God. Even as *I* also please all in all things >>>including my marriage<<<; not seeking my own profit, but that of the many, that they may be saved.
1. Receive the weak in faith (their faith allows them very little personal liberty) but not to dispute doubtful things/points>61 . Doubtful things are things that the Bible is not explicitly clear about leaving a gray area for individuals to exercise their own judgment (e.g. eating meat vs. vegetarianism, length of dress, courtship and engagement, television, movies, computer use etc.)
2. Don't despise or condemn your brother/sister in Christ if (1) they feel free to do doubtful things or (2) they don't feel free to do doubtful things>62
3. Don't put a stumbling block, an occasion to take offense, put an obstacle in the way>82 , give someone an opportunity for sinning>63
4. Don't make your brethren uneasy>83 or hurt, injure or damage others' feelings>84.
5. Don't destroy your brethren's faith with your personal liberty>64
6. Let not the personal liberty your faith allows be evil spoken of>65
7. Do that which builds and helps the faith of your brethren>66 .
8. Don't put a temptation to sin in someone's way>.85 , or do that which leads another to sin>.86 .
9. Have your faith from the Word that allows you your personal liberty privately, discretely and personally before God and be happy in it>67
10. Don't do anything you have doubts about, doubts about whether or not it is God's will for you to do, be or have)>68
11. If your faith is strong allowing you a great deal of personal liberty, you should bear the weaknesses of those whose faith allows little personal liberty, not pleasing ourselves. Seek to please your brethren for their good, growth and development in the Lord and Word>69 . [Footnote: [>61 (Rm.14:1) >62 . (Rm. 14:3,4) >.82 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >83 Please see Thayer's Lexicon. >63 . (Rm. 14:13). >.84 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >64 . (Rm 14:15). >65 (Rm. 14:16,17). >66 (Rm. 14:18,19). >.85 (Rm. 14:13)Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >.86 Please see Thayer's Lexicon. >67 (Rm.14:22). >68 . (Rm. 14:23). >69 . (Rm. 15:1-3)]
But how do these principles apply? Obviously polygyny or concubinage is a felony, the secular crime of officially marrying (by man's laws) more than one woman, involving the government's law, public records, inheritance laws and divorce laws in most Western or industrial nations. Obviously it is socially acceptable, legal and not a felony in most Asian nations, the Mid East, Africa and Indian tribes in the Americas. That is as clear as black and white. But there is a great big gray area. Many Western states recognize informal marriage (concubinage) as common law marriages but as soon as they become official they come under the monogamy laws. But they can live for years in the morally acceptable informal and unofficial common law status without any illegality.
Under Administrative Law in California, County Welfare officials set up semi-official marriages with people who live together without being married where one or both parties could still be legally married to others. Administrative Welfare law recognizes them as a semi-married couple and will grant them AFDC aid and even help them get divorces so they can eventually marry IF THEY WISH. With the state's approval they live together as a family sometimes for years, but they have no IRS rights, or inheritance rights or marital tax status from the state as a married couple. It is legal and approved of by state law.
California's courts have also established palimony rights where they protect the covenant/contractual rights of people living in unofficial marriage or concubinage. While they have no official tax status or inheritance rights the courts have established that a marital relationship, and the members of that relationship, have protection under the law in terms of their covenants, contracts, vows, espousal or betrothal. The courts have awarded "palimony", property and child custody rights in and from these relationships. The new no-discrimination-against- one's-sexual-orientation laws would seem to protect those who practice informal contractual polygyny or concubinage, but they haven't been applied in court to polygyny as far as I know. God prescribes no "wedding ceremony", ritual, vows or rite>87 to make two people married, leaving it to the local churches or assemblies to have their own Biblical local and indigenous marital customs>88 .
The covenants, betrothals and prenuptial contracts seem to be covered by God's standards in the following: [Footnote: >87 See appendix #4 . >.88 See appendix #4 .]
***EZEKIEL 16: 3 and say, Thus saith the Lord Jehovah unto Jerusalem: . . . 8 And I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, and behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness; and I swore unto thee, and ENTERED INTO A COVENANT WITH YOU, saith the Lord Jehovah, and YOU BECAME MINE.”
***MALACHI 2:14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because Jehovah hath been a witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt unfaithfully [i.e. deceitfully, treacherously, failing and/or betraying her trust and confidence, violating your allegiance to her, breaking your covenant to her]: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not one make them? and the remnant of the Spirit was his. And wherefore the one? He sought a seed of God. Take heed then to your spirit, and let none deal unfaithfully [i.e. deceitfully, treacherously, failing and/or betraying her trust and confidence, violating your allegiance to her, breaking your covenant to her] against the wife of his youth, 16 (for I hate putting away, saith Jehovah the God of Israel;) and he covereth with violence his garment, saith Jehovah of hosts: take heed then to your spirit, that ye deal not unfaithfully [i.e. deceitfully, treacherously, failing and/or betraying her trust and confidence, violating your allegiance to her, breaking your covenant to her]. ”
***ECCLES. 5:4 ¶ When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. 5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.“
*** PSALM 15:1 ¶ <<A Psalm of David.>> Jehovah, who shall sojourn in thy tent? who shall dwell in the hill of thy holiness? 2 He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth from his heart. 3 He . . . who, if he have sworn to his own hurt, changeth it not; 5 . . . He that doeth these things shall never be moved.”
*** ROMANS 1:28 And according as they did not think good to have God in their knowledge, God gave them up to a reprobate mind to practise unseemly things; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, . . . 31 void of understanding, faithless covenant breakers, without natural affection, unmerciful; 32 who knowing the righteous judgment of God, that they who do such things are worthy of death, not only practise them, but have fellow delight in those who do them..”
We know that Jesus put to death people (Acts) called by His Name who lied to Him; and the rich (1 Cor 11) who were shaming, offending and grieving the poor, failing to share eqitably with them; ordered that the bodies of those involved in sex sin (1 Cor 5) be delivered to Satan for the destruction of the bodies so that their spirit could be saved; and declared to be worthy of death (Rom 1) those who deceitfully, treacherously fail and/or betray trust and confidence; and who violate covenanted allegiance , breaking covenant. Nothing like the fear of being put to death by God to motivate one to keep one's covenants:
***1Cor 11:30 "On this account many among you are weak and infirm, and a good many are fallen asleep. 31 But if we judged ourselves, so were we not judged. 32 But being judged, we are disciplined of the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world."
Since covenant breaking is listed along with adultery and sex sin, the church discipline of 1 Cor 5 would be
approprite after Matt 18:15-18 had been done according to Gal. 6:1 and 2 Tim. 2:24-26:
***1 Cor. 5:3 For *I*, as absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged as present, 4 to deliver, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (ye and my spirit being gathered together, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ), him that has so wrought this: 5 to deliver him, I say, being such, to Satan for destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 6 Your boasting is not good. Do ye not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?
It is the treachery of breaking marital covenants that God condemns in these passages and that which he hates. "Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into covenant with you, and you became Mine," says the Lord God>70 . We become a part of the bride of Christ in the same way. The Spirit considered Mary and Joseph as husband and wife on the basis of their espousal/betrothal/ covenants even before the wedding and the coming together>71. [Footnote: >70 (Ezek. 16:8). >71 (Mat. 1:18-25 ;Deut. 22:23-27)]
So why can't two Christians exchange espousal/betrothal covenants and become each other's marital partners without a formal marriage, especially when it is a polygynoous informal marriage which could be illegal according to the laws of man? Of course they can since common law marriages are legally acceptable in most of America’s states and in most of the countries of the world, and marital "pals" are recognized by the courts of California. But should they? We are bound by our covenants and God makes it clear He has no pleasure in the fools who break them >72 . We enter into the gray zone of the liberty we have in Christ>73 that is limited by the cords of Agape love. Yes two Christians could exchange their covenants without a formal/legal wedding day but when they became involved in intimacy and that intimacy became an offense or stumbling block to another saint, it would be sin and could destroy the work of Christ in another or embolden one whose faith is weak to be marry and be intimate contrary to his/her conscience>74 .
So is such intimacy a sin between two Christians who have solemnly and formally covenanted before God that they are maritally one flesh as long as they both live? It is neither illegal nor sinful but it becomes sin if it stumbles, offends, grieves another in Christ, causin such a one to act contrary to his/her faith in Christ> 75 . [Footnote: >72 (Eccles. 5:5; Psalm 15). >73 (Rom 14). >74 (l Cor. 8 & 10). >75 (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10).]
But what about the command in Romans 14 that states that if you have a solid controversial conviction from the Word, you should and could have it to yourself before God? Happy is the one who does not condemn himself in what he approves>76 . But woe to him if he does it with doubts or offense to another in Christ. So it seems to be with post covenant but pre-wedding day intimacy. It seems to be the same case with polygyny and Biblical concubinage. Do you practice/believe in polygyny or Bibilical concubinage? Have it and do so privately and very discreetly before God. Happy is the one who does not condemn one's self in what he approves in the liberty of Christ. But one who practices/believes in polygyny or Biblical concubinage with doubts about its rightness is condemned because one does not practice it out of conviction from the Spirit and the Word that it is right. Polygyny and Biblical concubinage is indeed pure, but it is evil to practice it if your practice of it stumbles, offends, grieves or weakens your brethren in Christ>77 . [Footnote: >76 (Rom 14:22,23). >77 (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10)]
Foreign Christian polygynists visiting Western monogamous societies encounter a special challenge. Spiritual and Godly Christians would be able to handle it well and in the Lord, but the unsaved, the carnal, the Spiritual milk drinkers, the legalists, the ignorant, and those weak of conscience would all have varying problems with a Christian polygynist and his wives visiting their Western/Occidental church>78 . The visiting Christian polygynist should do all within his power to not let his liberty hinder the effectiveness of his testimony and witness to these people, if they would be willing to receive it. [Footnote: >78 (1 Cor. 8 & 10; Rom. 14 & 15)]
Hopefully mercy and compassion would move the Christian polygynist to not flaunt his polygyny in the face of such "Christians" even though they are so unlike Christ. Mercy would move the polygynist to not lay a heavier burden on the weak than they can bear, not wanting their liberty to cause their weak-in-faith brethren to fall into sin. Compassion would move the polygynists to be sensitive to the weakness and doubts of the weak saints. Obviously the polygynist would not be an official leader in the church and would not be visiting local churches as a leader/elder/deacon/ bishop/ overseer/etc.>79 .
Ideally the local saints would be bearing the fruits of the Spirit and receive such foreign visitors with mercy and compassion. If they agreed and were able>80 for a short while to be separated, the polygynist could visit the Western church bringing one or none of his wives so as to reduce the controversy. The same would be true of a polygynist wife visiting the West without her husband, under the rule of 1 Cor. 7:4,5. [Footnote: >79 (1 Tim. 3 and Ti. 1). >80 (1 Cor. 7:5)]
*** 1 CORINTH. 7:4 The wife has not authority over her own body, but the husband: in like manner also the husband has not authority over his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud not one another, unless, it may be, by consent for a time, that ye may devote yourselves to prayer, and again be together, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency.”
What about the situation where you have done your very
best to discretely keep your polygyny as a private and personal matter between you, those directly involved
and in accord with you, and God, yet God commands you to unite with a mate in such a manner that the practice of the polygyny is almost impossible to keep private and personal between you and God?
This is a special problem for those who come into polygyny in obedience to God's command to marry ---
***Dt. 25:5 ¶ If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no son, the wife of the dead shall not marry a stranger abroad: her husband’s brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him as wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother unto her.
***1 Tim 5:14 I will therefore that the younger [widows] marry, bear children, rule the house, give no occasion to the adversary in respect of reproach.
***1Cor7: 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, It is good for them that they remain [unmarried] even as I. 9 But if they have not control over themselves, they should marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.
Couple these commands and principles dealing with
one who has come under command to marry, couple
them with these commands and principles of compassionate intervention, and you could land up with a very complicated and difficult situation.
Consider these paraphrased-for-application passages.
End of Part three of four
PART FOUR OF FOUR
What about the situation where you have done your very
best to discretely keep your polygyny as a private and personal matter between you, those directly involved
and in accord with you, and God, yet God commands you to unite with a mate in such a manner that the practice of the polygyny is almost impossible to keep private and personal between you and God?
This is a special problem for those who come into polygyny in obedience to God's command to marry ---
***Dt. 25:5 ¶ If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no son, the wife of the dead shall not marry a stranger abroad: her husband’s brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him as wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother unto her.
***1 Tim 5:14 I will therefore that the younger [widows] marry, bear children, rule the house, give no occasion to the adversary in respect of reproach.
***1Cor7: 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, It is good for them that they remain [unmarried] even as I. 9 But if they have not control over themselves, they should marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.
Couple these commands and principles dealing with
one who has come under command to marry, couple
them with these commands and principles of compassionate intervention, and you could land up with a very complicated and difficult situation.
Consider these paraphrased-for-application passages.
From De 15:7 , 8 : If there be amongst you >>>>an unmarried person or widow under command to marry<<<, any one of thy brethren in one of thy gates, . . . , thou shalt not harden thy heart, nor shut thy hand from >>>the unmarried one or widow under command to marry and in need of marriage<<<; but thou shalt open thy hand bountifully unto him, and shalt certainly >>>find the marital solution<<< on pledge what is sufficient for >>>their marital need>>>, in marriage which he/she lacketh.
From De 15:11: For the >>>maritally<<< needy shall never cease from within the land; therefore I command thee, saying, Thou shalt open thy hand bountifully unto thy brother >>>of sister<<< , to thy poor and to >>>those in need of marriage<<< , in thy land.
From Isa 58:7 - 10: Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry >>>for marriage<<<, and that thou bring to thy house the >>>maritally<<< needy wanderers; when thou seest the >>>maritally<<< naked, that thou >>>maritally<<< cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? . . . Then shalt thou call, and Jehovah will answer; thou shalt cry, and he will say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger and the unjust speech, and thou proffer thy soul to the >>>maritally<<< hungry, and satisfy the >>>maritally<<< afflicted soul: then shall thy light rise in the darkness, and thine obscurity be as midday;
From1 John 3:17, 18: But whoso may have the world’s substance, and see his brother >>>or sister<<< having >>>marital<<< need, and shut up his/her compassion from him/her >>>so that he/she does nothing effective about the perceived marital need<<<, how abides the love of God in him? Children, let us not love with word, nor with tongue, but in deed and in truth.
The compassionate intervener in these passages could be a single sister in Christ who sees her brother in Christ under command in Christ to marry
because of his burning struggle to sexually control himself and so gives herself to him in marriage to meet his need. The compassionate intervener in these passages could be a single or a married man who sees an unmarried woman or widow under command to marry and follows the Lord's compassion in his heart and meets that perceived marital need when no one else will do it. In such a case where one was maritally content and another's marital need came to him /her and he/she responded in effective compassion to meet the marital need of the other, the compassion and the need and the meeting of that need must still be done in harmony with and according to the stated Romans 13 need to submit to and live in peace with the authorities when possible in and by Jesus; and the stated Romans 14 need to have your polygynous freedom privately and discretely before God and others so as not to stumble, grieve and/or offend into sin the weak-in-faith monogynous brethren.
Again it seems to me that the answer is in 1 Cor 10:13-23 as seen in this its paraphrase for application:
¶ All things are lawful, but all are not profitable; all things are lawful, but all do not edify. Let no one seek his own advantage, but that of the other.
>>>Practice every form of Biblical marriage<<<, making no inquiry for conscience sake.
26 For the earth is the Lord’s and its fulness.
27 But if any one of the unbelievers invite you, and ye are minded to go, >>>practice your form of Biblical marriage<<<, making no inquiry for conscience sake. But if any one say to you, ">>>Your marriage is contrary to the law of man and/or God in my opinion and belief<<<, do not >>>practice your controversial marriage before him/her<<<, for his sake that pointed it out, and conscience sake;
but conscience, I mean, not thine own, but that of the other: for why is my liberty >>>to practice polygyny<<< judged by another's conscience?
If *I* partake >>>in Biblical polygyny<<< with thanksgiving, why am I spoken evil of for what *I* give thanks for? Whether therefore you >>>are celibate, monogynous or polygynous<<<, or whatever ye do, do all things to God’s glory. Give no occasion to stumbling, whether to Jews, or Greeks, >>>to the celibate or the monogynous<<< nor the assembly of God. Even as *I* also please all in all things >>>including my marriage<<<; not seeking my own profit, but that of the many, that they may be saved.
From Romans 14: 22 Do you have a conviction from the Word of God? Have it to yourself privately and discretely before God. Happy is the one who does not condemn himself in the polygyny he/she allows.
23 But he that doubts the rightness of Biblical polygyny, if he becomes polygynous, is condemned; because his polygyny does not originate in a conviction from the Word of God; but whatever form of marriage is not based on a conviction from the Word of God is sin.
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do I do this?????????
Jas 1:5 But if any one of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all freely and reproaches not, and it shall be given to him:
2 Tim 3:16 Every scripture is divinely inspired, and profitable for teaching, for conviction, for correction, for instruction in righteousness; 17 that the man of God may be complete, fully fitted to every good work.
INCLUDING THE GOOD WORK OF GODLY BUT CONTROVERSIAL MARRIAGES.
#6. MORE POLYGYNOUS UNION/BONDING COVENANTS/CONTRACTS (Adapted from Divorce & Polygyny) APPENDIX THREE: Marriage by covenant. If you have decided that Mat. 5:33-37, James 4:13-17 and James 5;12 don't allow you to use the traditional wedding vows and covenants because they involve swearing and/or oaths (SEE http://www.etext.org/Religious.Texts/Polyamory) and you are considering a polygynously covenanted relationship, then you might be interested in using and adapting the following to your own needs. Also these covenants are suitable for legal weddings, common law weddings, covenanting in concubinage, and sublegal polygynous union events. Make sure that you carefully avoid violating any Federal, state or local laws in the event of a polygynous covenant ceremony. Jail is a lousy honeymoon.
****A UNION/COVENANTAFFIRMATION**********
•(Your name), will you have this (man, woman) to be your (Chosen One, Desire, Leader, Embracer, Blessing, Delight, Gift from God, Soul-Love, Love Friend, lover, intimate companion, Bundle of Myrhh, Beloved, Completer, Complement, Helper, Chosen One, Delight, Desire, Blessing, Dove, Love Sister, Private Garden, Sealed Fountain, Blessed Ravisher, etc.) and will you , before God and these witnesses, solemnly affirm and declare your intentions and expectations in this union to (him, her), in all honor and love, in all service and duty, in all faith and tenderness, to live with (him, her), to comfort, keep (him/her), and cherish (him/her), according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of our covenanted intimacy? (Answer, "I do" or "Yes").
• I, (your name), take you, (the other's name), to be my own (Chosen One, Desire, Leader, Embracer, Blessing, Delight, Gift from God, Soul-Love, Love Friend, lover, intimate companion, Bundle of Myrhh, Beloved, Completer, Complement, Helper, Chosen One, Delight, Desire, Blessing, Dove, Love Sister, Private Garden, Sealed Fountain, Blessed Ravisher, etc.); and I do solemnly affirm and declare before God and these witnesses that I intend and expect to be your own loving and faithful (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.) to love and to cherish each other; in plenty and in want; in joy and grief; in health and infirmity; as long as we both shall live. All that I own and have is now ours.
•We accept our responsibility to be sexually faithful to each other, keeping our sexual activity within the bonded and covenanted relationships that make up our family.
•In token of our solemn affirmations and declarations, with this token I become your own (Chosen One, Desire, Leader, Embracer, Blessing, Delight, Gift from God, Soul-Love, Love Friend, lover, intimate companion, Bundle of Myrhh, Beloved, Completer, Complement, Helper, Chosen One, Delight, Desire, Blessing, Dove, Love Sister, Private Garden, Sealed Fountain, Blessed Ravisher, etc.); in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit who lives and abides in us. Amen (both repeat in unison)
•I now pronounce you one, bound and covenanted together for life before God and these witnesses. Do you have something to declare to us?
• (in unison) We covenant before God and all of you present, that we are bound together to be one flesh in the Lord until death part us. We covenant before God that it is our responsibility to compassionately cherish each other according to His Word, the Holy Bible, to His glory and honor. Pray for us. _________________________
The Couple's Signatures and Date Witnessed by The Father, King Jesus, and the Holy Spirit ______________________________ Date
ANOTHER UNION/BONDING AFFIRMATION/COVENANT
• _________, do you accept and acknowledge _______ as your own sealed (Chosen One, Desire, Leader, Embracer, Blessing, Delight, Gift from God, Soul-Love, Love Friend, lover, intimate companion, Bundle of Myrhh, Beloved, etc.)? Yes, I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to him, in all virtue and honor, in all duty and service, in all faithfulness and tenderness, to live with him and compassionately cherish him according to the Word of God, in the holy bond of these your covenants? Yes, I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to him, not having any other lover, not leaving him for another lover; and not dismissing, releasing or repudiating him as your own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.)? Yes, I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to not separate from him, be separated from him, leave him, or put yourself apart from him unless it is to be alone and celibate with the hope reconciliation? Yes, I do!
• Do you leave your parents and loyally bond with him to be one in this your union, submitting to each other in reverence to God? Yes, I do!
• ______, do you commit yourself to _______ with all your heart, to follow _______'s lead, as unto the Lord, in all matters showing honor and respect? Yes, I do!
•______, do you accept and acknowledge _______ as your own sealed ( Completer, Complement, Helper, Chosen One, Delight, Desire, Blessing, Dove, Love Sister, Private Garden, Sealed Fountain, Blessed Ravisher, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.)? Yes/I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, in all virtue and honor, in all duty and service, in all faithfulness and tenderness, to live with her and compassionately cherish her according to the Word of God, in the holy bond of these your covenants? Yes/I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, not leaving her for another lover; not sending or puting her away, not maritally dismissing , releasing or repudiating her? Yes, I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, not separating yourself from her, not allowing yourselves to be separated, not leaving or depart from her, not putting her apart from you? Yes, I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, not sending her away, not asking her to go away or leave, not releasing her from your covenants or leaving her? Yes, I do!
• Do you accept your responsibility to be sexually faithful to her, keeping your sexual activity within the bonded and covenanted relationships that make up your family?
• Do you leave your parents and loyally bond with her to be one in the union of these covenants, submitting to each other in reverence to God? Yes/I do!
• _____, do you commit yourself to her with all your heart to live wisely with her; respectfully, compassionately and sacrificially cherishing her, feeding her the Word, taking care of her and leading her by your example? Yes/I do!
•With God's enabling and leading it is our solemn desire and intent to + lovingly cherish each other in good times and bad times + unselfishly cherish each other in all conditions and under all circumstances + sincerely show honor and respect always to each other + keep our covenanted union pure, free from adultery and fornication + do everything in our power to be to each other what each of us needs SO HELP US GOD!
•I, __________, make a covenant with you, __________, this day. I take you as my own sealed (Chosen One, Desire, Leader, Embracer, Blessing, Delight, Gift from God, Soul-Love, Love Friend, lover, intimate companion, Bundle of Myrhh, Beloved, etc.) before God and these witnesses. I acknowledge my fervent desire and responsibility to faithfully cherish you as my own sealed (Chosen One, Desire, Leader, Embracer, Blessing, Delight, Gift from God, Soul-Love, Love Friend, lover, intimate companion, Bundle of Myrhh, Beloved, etc.), to love you and honor you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. I make this covenant, not boasting of or counting on my own ability to keep it, but trusting in God for His Spirit's enabling and motivating, and His gift of length of days to honor Him in the keeping of this covenant.
•I, _________, make a covenant with you, __________, this day. I take you as my own sealed ( Completer, Complement, Helper, Chosen One, Delight, Desire, Blessing, Dove, Love Sister, Private Garden, Sealed Fountain, Blessed Ravisher, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.) before God and these witnesses. I acknowledge my fervent desire and responsibility to faithfully cherish you as my own ( Completer, Complement, Helper, Chosen One, Delight, Desire, Blessing, Dove, Love Sister, Private Garden, Sealed Fountain, Blessed Ravisher, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.), to love you and honor you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. I make this covenant not boasting of or trusting in my own ability to keep it, but trusting in God for His Spirit's enabling and motivating, and His gift of length of days to honor Him in the keeping of this covenant.
_______________________________
The Couple's Signatures and Date Witnessed by The Father, King Jesus, and the Holy Spirit
______________________________
Date
THE SONG OF SOLOMON
```[ The Shulamite to her friends]
**(1:2.) He should kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
```[The Shulamite to Solomon, in the hearing of her friends]
**For your [sexual] loving is better than wine. (3.) Your ointments smell sweetly;
Your name is an ointment poured forth:
Therefore do the [marriage-age] virgins love you. (4.) Lead, drawing me along!
```[Her friends , the Daughters of Jerusalem ]
**--We will run after you!
```[The Shulamite to her friends ]
**The king has brought me into his chambers---
```[Her friends, the Daughters of Jerusalem to Solomon; or Solomon's
concubines/wives to him]
**-We will be glad and rejoice in you,
We will remember your [sexual] loving more than wine.
```[ The Shulamite to the king ]
**They love you uprightly.
```[The King about his Black Shulamite]
6:8 There [are] sixty queens, and eighty concubines, and virgins without number. 9 But My dove, My undefiled is one [alone]. She [is] the [only] one of her mother. She [is] the choice of her who bore her. The daughters saw [her] and blessed her; the [other] queens and the concubines [of the king] saw her, and they praised her.
Elkanah21stCent@aol.com, http://polyamory.meetup.com/389/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Poly_Polygamy_Polygny_And_Jesus
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/BiblicalChristianPolygamyPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy2
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LynnAndLossRecovery
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyOption4ChristiansWithSTDs/ -
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/women-sharing-one-man-maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://en.groups.zorpia.com/group/biblical_polygamy_polygyny
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygyny/ - - - 39
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygamy/ - - - 48
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christianpoly/ - - - small poly group for those who need privacy in their poly - request membership at elkanahtyler@gmail.com
http://polygynouschristians.multiply.com/
http://biblicalpolygamy.multiply.com/
John Doe's Christian Poly Life In the USA Today
COPYRIGHT © JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved.
Copyright © 01/14/'95; 01/12/'96, 07/26/2003 (Revised)
This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined.
By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, San Diego, CA 92162-0763
oldservant8@aol.com, oldservant@gmail.com, elkanahtyler@gmail.cm
Jabez1Chr4@aol.com
From: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus/files/
UrbanBlueCollarPolyToday0908.html
Specifically:
http://f1.grp.yahoofs.com/v1gIfrSKHUxWuUEHXeiyxBHJYYHnkzbY_8_iOmMeLOtCpeG_skucguzs20idHb_EddBSPuaLK6-16X0T1AqNkj-g/UrbanBlueCollarPolyToday0908.html
SNIP
///THE SPECIFICS OF THE John Doe FAMILY SITUATION
///Then there is average John Doe who has a job that barely allows him
to support one wife, Betty, in a small two bedroom apartment. His three
other wives each have their own two bedroom apartment for themselves
and their children. Their apartments are less than one mile away from
each other. The husband's living room is made into a living-room-bedroom
for together times, if so desired by all, with all in one large room.
Because of antipolygyny laws and recent Supreme Court rulings, it is
strongly advisable that the husband not be intimate with more than one
wife at a time. One bedroom in is apartment would be made into a den,
and the second bedroom for the kids. Each “wife” would have her own
apartment & bedroom, her children having the second and or third bedroom.
///John works at Slurpo, the local soft dring company, as a union truck
driver making a monthly net of $2400, working 30 hours a week. Betty
works for the City as a meter reader, making a monthly net $2000
per month. Loulou took care of the babies, the last one to give birth
and breast feeding. Fannie Mae works at a part time job, making a
monthly net $800, to have time to help homeschool the children.
The children are home schooled through the 8th grade. Daisy
travels to town to work as an RN, making a monthly net $3200. All
bring their gain to the family, and the family divides what they have
according to each's need, striving for equality . Three of the older kids work
at local restaurants and fast food outlets, making a net of $1630.
Their monthly net family income is $10030. They have a total of 8
children, a family of 13 people. They all put their income into the
common purse/account and in family conference decide together
how the money should be spent.
///Their combined rents are $3200, in a blue collar neighborhood in
So. Calif. Their food budget is $2600 per mo. They have car
expenses of $1000 per month. Insurance runs $520. Medical and
dental insurance for the full time and part time stay-home moms,
$400. Utilities and phone runs at $160. That is an outflow of $7880.
That leaves $2150 for everything else, including savings, investments.
///Because polygamy is illegal in the USA, he is legally married only
to one of the “wives”, Betty, and was privately and solemnly covenanted
with each of his other ladies. Loulou, Fannie Mae, Daisy. He attends
Betty's pentecostal church Sunday mornings at 8:30, as her husband.
He attends Loulou's AfroAm COGIC church at 10:30, as her backslidden
man to avoid prosecution for polygamy. He attends FannieMae's
African American Episcopalean church Sunday night, as her backslidden
man, to avoid prosecution. He attends Daisy's lilly white Presbyterian
church Wednesday nights, as her backslidden man, to avoid prosecution.
Sunday afternoons they either barbecue at the beach or the park,
where they picnic together and the children play.
SNIP
///Then there is average Joe Blow who has a job that barely allows him to
support one wife in a small two bedroom apartment. His three other
wives each have their own two bedroom apartment for themselves and
their children. The husband's living room is made into a master
bedroom for together times with all in bed in one room, one bedroom
made into a den, and the second bedroom for the kids. Each wife having
her own apartment & bedroom, and the children having the second
bedroom. One took care of the babies, usually the last one to give
birth and breast feeding. One worked at a part time job to have time
to help homeschool the children. Another wife worked at the local
market. One traveled to town to work as an RN. All brought their gain
to the family, and the family divided what they had according to
each's need, striving for equality .
SNIP
"///The women gain the love, protection, care, affection, passion and
attention of a man they love passionately, a man who loves them
passionately. Each wife has at least one hour alone with him every
other night for intimacy and special attention. This allows each wife
to have orgasmic passion three times a week without fear of HIV/
HCV/HPV. He has one hour a night with the kids. One hour a night
with everybody during the dinner hour. As you see in the model
below, their is no need for public assistance for this family of 13."
SNIP
///Then there is average John Doe who has a job that barely allows him
to support one wife, Betty, in a small two bedroom apartment. His three
other wives each have their own two bedroom apartment for themselves
and their children. Their apartments are less than one mile away from
each other. The husband's living room is made into a living-room-bedroom
for together times, if so desired by all, with all in one large room.
Because of antipolygyny laws and recent Supreme Court rulings, it is
strongly advisable that the husband not be intimate with more than one
wife at a time. One bedroom in his apartment would be made into a den,
and the second bedroom for the kids. Each “wife” would have her own
apartment & bedroom, her children having the second and or third bedroom.
SNIP
/// The working class and poor single mother with no committed
man has much less than that, in both quantity and quality. John Doe
would spend one night of every four nights as well with
each wife. Statistically John Doe's wives are have orgasmic sex
two times more a week than the averge American wife.
Statistically the average American couple spends much less time
focused on each
other than John and his wives. They are getting about twice as
much conscious focused attention than the average American wives.
SNIP
///Sad to see that N did no better than U. John Doe shares with each of his wives the responsibility of parenting, teaching, caring and providing for their children. John Doe and his wives are committed believers and followers of Jesus Christ, and are maritally committed
to each other as long as each lives. Just as he is commanded to be sexually having his wives (1Cor7:2-5;Prov5:19,20) and has sexual authority over the sexual use of their bodies (1Cor7:2-5), the wives are commanded by God to be sexually having their own husband, and have sexual authority over the sexual use of his body. They are forbidden from sexually denying each other except for prayer and fasting that is mutually agreed upon and has a time limit. He is responsible for unselfishly and compassionately cherishing his wives in Love, of submitting to the Word of God they speak to Him from the Bible, and his wives are responsible for following his lead,
as long as doing so does not involve disobedience to Jesus, and for showing the respect due to him as the marital authority that God has set over her (Rom 13; Ephes 5).
SNIP
///The women have the same sexual authority over him and are commanded to be sexually having him, just as he is commanded to do with them. He has an hour plus every evening with all the wives and the children, and an hour =/- with the children of the wife with whom he spends that night. Such a family that Loves Jesus shows that Love by Loving each other, so when they see each others need, they do what they can to meet that need (1 Jn3 Eph 4)
///Sunday afternoon everyone in the family free to get together either has a picnic at the
park/beach/river/lake/backyard. John spends Sunday night with Fannie Mae + kids after
church. After having dinner with as many of his wives and kids as possible, John spends Monday night with Betty and one hour with her kids. After having dinner with as many of his wives and kids as possible, John spends Tuesday night with Loulou and one hour with her kids. After having dinner with Daisy and her kids they all go to Daisy's church and John spends Wednesday night with Daisy. The wives have scheduled nights with John on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. Since most months have four Thursdays, four Fridays and four Saturdays, each month, each wife has three of those nights with John. This means each wife has seven nights alone with John each month. Statistically most couples who have been married for five years or more are couples that do not have orgasmic sexual initmacy more than seven times per month. Thursday after having dinner with as many of his wives and kids as possible, he spends a couple of hours doing something pleasant and meaningful with the older kids and their moms and spends Thursday night with the schduled wife,or the wife who drew the "lot, or with the one who expresses the greatest need and the others consent. Friday after having dinner with as many of his wives and kids as possible, he spends a couple of hours doing something pleasant and meaningful with the younger kids and their moms and spends Friday night with the scheduled wife, or the wife who drew the "lot, or with the one who expresses the greatest need and the others consent. Saturday is picnic, party, beach, movie,
bowling, country dancing, Monopoly and Scrabble and/or cards day for everyone free to get together. If possible all who are able go to a Christian concert or special service Saturday evening. Saturday night John is with the scheduled wife, or the wife who drew the "lot, or with the one who expresses the greatest need and the others consent.
SNIP
///John works at Slurpo, the local soft dring company, as a union truck
driver making a monthly net of $2400, working 30 hours a week. Betty
works for the City as a meter reader, making a monthly net $2000
per month. Loulou took care of the babies, the last one to give birth
and breast feeding. Fannie Mae works at a part time job, making a
monthly net $800, to have time to help homeschool the children.
The children are home schooled through the 8th grade. Daisy
travels to town to work as an RN, making a monthly net $3200. All
bring their gain to the family, and the family divides what they have
according to each's need, striving for equality . Three of the older kids work
at local restaurants and fast food outlets, making a net of $1630.
Their monthly net family income is $10030. They have a total of 8
children, a family of 13 people. They all put their income into the
common purse/account and in family conference decide together
how the money should be spent.
///Their combined rents are $3200, in a blue collar neighborhood in
So. Calif. Their food budget is $2600 per mo. They have car
expenses of $1000 per month. Insurance runs $520. Medical and
dental insurance for the full time and part time stay-home moms,
$400. Utilities and phone runs at $160. That is an outflow of $7880.
That leaves $2150 for everything else, including savings, investments.
///Because polygamy is illegal in the USA, he is legally married only
to one of the “wives”, Betty, and was privately and solemnly covenanted
with each of his other ladies. Loulou, Fannie Mae, Daisy. He attends
Betty's pentecostal church Sunday mornings at 8:30, as her husband.
He attends Loulou's AfroAm COGIC church at 10:30, as her backslidden
man to avoid prosecution for polygamy. He attends FannieMae's
African American Episcopalean church Sunday night, as her backslidden
man, to avoid prosecution. He attends Daisy's lilly white Presbyterian
church Wednesday nights, as her backslidden man, to avoid prosecution.
Sunday afternoons they either barbecue at the beach or the park,
where they picnic together and the children play.
>>>you mentioned insurance, which I assume is car insurance,
and medical and dental insurance for the wives that stay at
home - what about the rest of the family?
/// The legal wife is covered by her husband's insurance through
employment, and the wives who
work out of the house have med and life insurance through their
employment. The family budgets money to pay for medical insurance
for those not covered by employment.
>>>I stick to my original statement, such a situation means that
each wife must work in order for the family unit as a whole to
survive.
///Yes, everybody works, except for the children under 12 years.
>>>And if Mr. Truck Driver is attending so many different
churches, how is he remaining true to his own faith?
/// All of those churches have compatable core beliefs, no
serious conflicts. In obedience to Romans 14:1,22,23 when they are
in fellowship with Christians in general they are careful not to get into
discussions that might lead to talk or arguments about their private,
personal and discreet polygyny; because " . . 1 . . . we who are strong
[in our convictions] have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those
without strength [or much personal liberty], and not to please ourselves.
2 Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, in order to build
him up. 3 For even the Messiah did not please Himself." Rom 15
When Romans and 1 Corinthian were written there were two major populations in the Christian churches, Gentile/nonJewish believers and Jewish believers obeying the Law of Moses (not for salvation but as part of the covenant keeping good works they were called to obey Eph 2:10; Titus 3:8). We know the Jewish believers, including all of the Apostles, were obeying the Law given to Moses throughout the Book of Acts because of Mat 23:2,3; Acts 15 and Acts 21:16-27 where we see Paul and James publicly obeying the Law of Moses. To enable these two distinct groups to fellowship in the same church, the Spirit gave the Word in Romans 14, 1 Cor 8 and 1 Cor 10 to show the two groups how they should act when fellowshipping with each other. Obviously it was easier for Jewish Law observing believers to meet with others like themselves, and easier for Gentile/Uncircumcised believers to be in fellowship with other Gentile/uncircumcised believers. In the same way it is far easier for polygynous Christians to be in fellowship with polygynous Christians, but the guidelines below show polygynous Christians how to be in fellowship with monogynous Christians.
Tyler
"1 And him who is weak in the faith receive ye—not to determinations of reasonings;" Yng Rm 14
"1 Accept the person who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of arguing
over differences of opinion." ISV Rm14
Application based on Rom 14:16 Let not then your [conviction that polygyny is] good be evil spoken of; 17 for the kingdom of God is not [polygyny] and [monogyny], but
righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For she that in this
[controversy about polygyny] serves the Christ is acceptable to God and
approved of men. 19 So then let us pursue the things which tend to peace, and
things whereby one shall build up another. 20 For the sake of [polygyny] do not
destroy the work of God. All things [including polygyny] indeed are pure; but it
is evil to that woman who [becomes polygynous] while stumbling [in sin] because
of her doubts about its rightness. 21 It is right not to [take a second wife],
nor [take a third wife], nor do anything in which thy brother [or sister]
stumbles [striking the toe of one's conscience against an obstacle inducing
one to sin by acting in doubt], or is offended [ or stumbles or is enticed to
act without faith or think unfavourably or unjustly of another and so displesed
and indignant], or is made weak [morally feeble, without strength, powerless].
22 Have you faith [to believe polygyny is acceptable to Jesus and so practice
it]? Have that conviction to yourself before God. Blessed is the one who does
not judge oneself in what [belief or practice of polygyny] one allows [with a firm and
convinced faith about it based on Scripture]. 23 But one that doubts [about the rightness of polygyny], if [that] one [becomes polygynous], [that one] is condemned;
because that one became polygynous not because of faith [in its rightness];
but whatever [behavior or thought does not originate from] faith [in its
rightness before God] is sin.
***Application based on 1Cor 8: 8 It is true that a particular kind of [marriage] will not bring us
into God's presence; we are neither inferior to others if we abstain from
[polygyny], nor superior to them if we [practice] it. 9 But take care lest this
liberty of yours should prove a hindrance to the progress of weak believers. 10
For if any one were to see you, who know the real truth of this matter,
[practicing polygyny], would not his conscience (supposing him to be a weak
believer) be emboldened to [practice polygyny as well but with doubts]? 11 Why,
your knowledge becomes the ruin of the weak believer--your brother, for whom
Christ died! 12 Moreover when you thus sin against the brethren and wound their
weak consciences, you are, in reality, sinning against Christ. 13 Therefore if
[my polygyny] causes my brother to fall, never again to the end of my days will
I [openly and publicly practice polygyny], for fear I should cause my brother
to fall. [Derived from 1 Cor 8:8-13]
***Application based on 1Cor 10: 23 ¶ Everything is allowable, but not everything
is profitable. Everything is allowable, but everything does not build others up. 24
No one should be for ever seeking his own good, but each should seek that [good]
of his fellow man. 25 Any [form of marriage practiced in the world, is good for
marrying,] and ask no questions for conscience' sake; 26 for <the earth is
the Lord's, and all that it contains.> 27 If an unbeliever gives you an
invitation and you are disposed to accept it, [accept it in the form of
marriage that you please], and ask no questions for conscience' sake. 28 But
if any one tells you, "This [form of marriage is wrong and evil];" abstain from
[manifesting] it--out of respect for him who warned you, and, as before,
for conscience' sake. 29 But now I mean his conscience, not your own. "Why,
on what ground," you may object, "is the question of my liberty of action to
be decided by a conscience not my own? 30 If, so far as I am concerned, I
partake [ of the form of marriage I please] with a grateful heart, why am I to
be found fault with in regard to a thing for which I give thanks?" 31
Whether, then, you are [monogynous or polygynous], or whatever you are doing,
everything should be done to the glory of God. 32 Do not [let your form of
marriage] be causes of stumbling either to Jews or to Gentiles, nor to the
Church of God. 33 That is the way that I also seek in everything the approval
of all men, not aiming at my own profit, but at that of the many, in the hope
that they may be saved.
==================================================
Biblical Polygyny in History and the Bible
¥× GOD GAVE MOSES RULES ABOUT POLYGYNY
****Exodus 21:7 And if a man sells his daughter to be a
maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants
do. 8 If she does not please her master, who has
betrothed her to himself, then he shall let her be
redeemed. He shall have no power to sell her to a
strange nation, since he has dealt deceitfully with her.
9 And if he has betrothed her to his son, he shall deal
with her as with daughters. 10 If he takes himself
another [wife], her food, her clothing, and
her duty of marriage shall not be lessened. 11
And if he does not do these three to her, then she shall
go out free without money.
>>>>If polygyny is a sin, why doesn't God forbid the men from
taking an additional wife? If polygyny is unacceptable
to God, why does He instruct men what He requires of
them if they take an additional wife? If polygyny is
sin, where is His command that a woman not marry a
man who already has a wife?
*De 17:15 "You shall only set him king
over you whom Jehovah your God will choose: from
among your brethren shall you set a king over you; .
. . 16 Only he shall not multiply horses to himself, . . .
17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his
heart turn not away; neither shall he greatly multiply
to himself silver and gold."
>>>>If this passage is used to make a case against polygyny,
shouldn't it also be used to make a case that the king
should have only one horse, only one bar of gold, and
only one bar of silver?
God's Law forbade a king from "multiplying"
wives>.75 to himself without making such a
command to we nonkings. It appears from later
scripture about Godly and God blessed kings of
Israel that God makes a distinction between
MULTIPLYING wives & horses to yourself and
adding wives & horses to yourself. None of us
object to King David having more than one horse but
many object to King David having more than one
wife, yet it is the same command "he shall not
multilply hoses . . . wives to himself." By 2 Samuel
5-12 God had "given" him seven wives plus a
number of concubines. We see His implied blessing
on DavidÕs polygyny . This implied blessing of his
polygyny would have to mean that David, with
concubines and seven wives, had not yet violated
the prohibition against a king multiplying wives
and horses to himself.
[Footnotes:>75 De 17:15 "You shall only set him
king over you whom Jehovah your God will choose:
from among your brethren shall you set a king
over you; . . . 16 Only he shall not multiply horses
to himself, . . . 17 Neither shall he multiply wives
to himself, that his heart turn not away; neither
shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and
gold." NO PROHIBITION FROM HAVING SOME
HORSES , SOME WIVES and some gold]
*Deut. 21:15 ¦ "If a man have two wives, one beloved,
and one hated, and they have borne him children,
[both] the beloved and the hated, and [if] the first-
born son be hers that was hated; 16 then it shall be,
in the day that he makes his sons to inherit [that]
which he has, [that] he may not make the son of the
beloved first-born before the son of the hated, who is
the first-born; 17 but he shall acknowledge as first-
born the son of the hated, by giving him a double
portion of all that he has; for he is the firstfruits of his
strength: the right of the firstborn is his."
>>>>If God condemns polygyny, why does he not only allow a
man to have two wives, but he actually legislates the right
of one wife's child over the right of the other wife's child?
If the children are children of polygyny, why would God
give them any rights at all, if it is such a sin as some say?
****2 Sam.12: 7 And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man! Thus saith
Jehovah the God of Israel: I anointed thee king over Israel, and I
delivered thee out of the hand of Saul; 8 and I gave thee thy master's
house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of
Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover
have given unto thee such and such things.
Or as the Complete Jewish Bible renders it: "I gave you your master's
house, and your master's wives to embrace. . . . ."
>>>>Do I have a reading problem, or did God just say that He
gave wives (plural) to David? Why is this giving of wives
listed by God among the blessings that He gave to David, if
polygyny is the sin that some say it is?
****2 Samuel 12:9 Wherefore hast thou despised the word of Jehovah to
do evil in his sight? thou hast smitten Urijah the Hittite with the
sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the
sword of the children of Ammon. 10 Now therefore the sword shall never
depart from thy house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken
the wife of Urijah the Hittite to be thy wife. 11* Thus saith Jehovah:
Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I
will take thy WIVES before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour,
and he shall lie with thy WIVES in the sight of this sun.
****2 Sam 16: 21 "And Ahithophel said to Absalom,
Go in to your father's CONCUBINES, that he left to
keep the house. And all Israel shall hear that you are
abhorred by your father. And the hands of all who [are]
with you will be strong. 22 And they spread Absalom a tent
on the top of the house, and Absalom went in to his
father's CONCUBINES in the sight of all Israel."
>>>>Did you notice that those God calls David's "wives" in 2 Sam 12 are what
man calls "concubines" in 2 Sam 16? We need to see people as God sees them, as what God sees them. Do you see that these "wives" or "concubines" are the widows of King Saul given to David in 2 Sam 12:8?
WHAT PLACE DID POLYGYNY HAVE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT CHURCH WHERE
THE BELIEVING APOSTLES WERE STILL KEEPING THE TORAH LAW WITH ITS
REGULATIONS OF POLYGYNY, AND THE BELIEVING NONJEWS WERE NOT KEEPING THE TORAH
LAW?
Christian elders agree that during Jesus' physical
and visible walk on earth, the Jews practiced
polygamy>24."
[Footnote: >24. Trobisch; MY WIFE MADE ME..P. 23. ;
"Polygamy was not definitely forbidden among the
Jews till the time of R. Gershom (c. A.d. 1000), and
then at first only for France and Germany. In Spain,
Italy,m and the East it persisted for some time longer,
as it does still among the Jews in Mohammedan
counties".
HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE,
p.584. ; A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-
Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. V, p. 267.;
A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. iv, p.290.;
A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. VIII, p. 258. ;
St. Augustin: On The Trinity, p. 402.;
HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE, p.259, 583ff.]
Let's look at the following evidence:
DOUGLAS" NEW BIBLE DICTIONARY : MARRIAGE:
."Monogamy is implicit in the story of Adam and Eve,
since God created only one wife for Adam. Yet
polygyny is adopted from the time of Lamech (Gn.
4:19), and is not forbidden in Scripture . . ..It is
difficult toknow how far polygamy was practised, but
on economic grounds it is probable that it was found
more among the well-to-do than among the ordinary
people. Polygamy continues to the present day
among Jews in Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian,
Oriental, and African countries." >25
[>25 IVCF, Editor J.D.Douglas; 1962,W. B. Eerdmans
Publishing, p.787]
Eerdmans' Douglas' New Bible Dictionary: "Concubine.
A secondary wife acquired by purchase or as a war
captive, and allowed in polygamous society such as
existed in the Middle east in biblical times....Where
marriages produced no heir, wives presented a slave
concubine too their husbands in order to raise an heir
(Gen. 16). Handmaidens, given as a marriage gift,
were often concubines (Gen. 29:24,29). Concubines
were protected under Mosaic law (Exod. 21:7-11; Dt.
21:10-14), though they were distinguished from
wives (Jdg. 8:31) and were more easily divorced
(Gen.21:10-14)"
[Footnote: >26 IVCF, Editor J.D.Douglas; 1962,W. B.
Eerdmans Publishing.]
FUNK & WAGNALLS NEW ENCYCLOPEDIA:
CONCUBINAGE, "Refers to the cohabitation of a man
and a woman without sanction of legal marriage.
Specifically, concubinage is a form of polygyny in
which the primary matrimonial relationship is
supplemented by one or more secondary sexual
relationships. Concubinage was a legally sanctioned
and socially acceptable practice in ancient cultures,
including that of the Hebrews; concubines, however,
were denied the protection to which a legal wife was
entitled. In Roman law, marriage was precisely
defined as monogamous; concubinage was tolerated,
but the concubine's status was inferior to that of a
legal wife. Her children had certain rights, including
support by the father and legitimacy in the event of
the marriage of the parents".
[Footnote: >27 1986, Funk & Wagnalls NEW
ENCYCLOPEDIA.]
In HASTING'S DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE we read
"Being .. apparently legalized, and having the
advantage of precedent, it was long before polygamy
was formally forbidden in Hebrew society, though
practically it fell into disuse; the feeling of the Rabbis
was strongly against it. Herod had nine wives at once.
. . Its possibility is implied by the technical
continuance of the Levirate law," [Deut. 25:5-10] "and
is proved by the early interpretation of 1 Ti 3,
whether correct or not. Justin reproaches the Jews of
his day" [A.D.] " with having 'four or even five wives,'
and marrying 'as they wish, or as many as they wish.'
The evidence of the Talmud shows that in this case at
least the reproach had some foundation. Polygamy
was not definitely forbidden among the Jews till the
time of R. Gershom (c. A.D. 1000), and then at first
only for France and Germany. In Spain, Italy, and the
East it persisted for some time longer, as it does still
among the Jews in Mohammedan countries."
[Footnote: >28. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE;
p.583ff.]
Eugene Nida's (American Bible Society) book Customs
and Cultures>.29 . . documents the current practice of
polygyny by Christians in non Western countries, and
how it is still practiced in China, SE Asia, India, Africa
and parts of South America. Eugene Nida points out
that when polygamists become Christians they are
told of their limitations in church offices and are
asked not to take any additional wives because it
stumbles western Christians (Rom 14, l Cor. 8 and 10).
They are not usually asked to abandon their other
wives to a premature widowhood because of l Cor>.
7:1-15.
[Footnote: >.29 1954, Harper & Brothers, New York]
100 AD: Tacitus, who died in 117 A.D., was a Roman historian who
provided us with one of the earliest detailed descriptions of the Germans and
their Germanic tribes, which later migrated into western Europe and
included the English and the French. >30 These Germans of his time were
unique. They strictly observed the marital tie and were generally content
with one wife for each husband, in marked contrast to most of the
"barbarians" of the time who often practiced polygyny. The few exceptions to
this Germanic monogyny was when they were sought for a polygynous
marriage because of their high birth>31[Footnotes:>30 Source: Tr. Maurice
Hutton, in Tacitus: Dialogus,Agricola, Germania, Loeb Classical Library
(Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1914). WOMEN'S LIVES IN MEDIEVAL
EUROPE- A SOURCE BOOK; p. 36.;>31 WOMEN'S LIVES IN MEDIEVAL EUROPE - A
SOURCE BOOK; p. 37.]
http://www.apuritansmind.com/Pastoral/McMahonElderAndDivorce.htm
The Elder & Divorce
Are divorced men expelled from the ministry?Ê That depends...
The Elder and Divorce:
by C. Matthew McMahon
http://www.apuritansmind.com/Pastoral/McMahonElderAndDivorce.htm
"Rome was laden with polygamy and
disorderliness.Ê Concubines, wives, and undisciplined children could
be seen
from the Caesars" house down to its subjects.Ê The ill-ordered
household was
in contempt in the eyes of the Christian."
APOSTOLIC TIMES: "In Roman law, marriage was precisely defined as
monogamous; concubinage was tolerated, but the concubine's status was
inferior to that of a legal wife. Her children had certain rights, including
support by the father and legitimacy in the event of the marriage of
the parents".
[Footnote: >27 1986, Funk & Wagnalls NEW ENCYCLOPEDIA.]
APOSTOLIC TIMES: In the Second Commonwealth polygamy is far from
general (cf. To bit and Susanna). Yet it survived far into the Christian era.
In the New Testament Jesus neither condemns polygamous unions nor
advocates a change in the system."
CHARLES A. RUBENSTEIN-----------------Bibliography:
Abrahams, 1., Jewish Life in the Middle Ages (1917);
Westermarck, E., History of Human Marriage (1901);
Spencer, H., Principles of Sociology idem, Descriptive Sociology;
Lay, Wilfrid, A Plea for Monogamy (1923)
APOSTOLIC TIMES: "Herod had nine wives at once. . .Its possibility is
implied by the technical continuance of the Levirate law, [Deut.
25:5-10] and is proved by the early interpretation of 1 Ti 3, whether correct
or not. Justin reproaches the Jews of his day [A.D.] with having 'four
or even five wives,'and marrying 'as they wish, or as many as they
wish.' The evidence of the Talmud shows that in this case at least the
reproach had some foundation. ">41.
[Footnote: (>.(40. Septuagint Lev. 21:13 "He shall take for a wife a
virgin of his own tribe.". .>41. DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE, J.Hastings
(Selbie, Lambert, Mathews), Hendrickson Publishers,1989;p.583ff.]
****1 CORINTH. 7:7 Now I wish all men to be even as myself: but every
one has his own gift of God: one man thus, and another thus. 8 But I
say to the unmarried and to the widows, It is good for them that they
remain [unmarried] even as I. 9 But if they are not having continuing
control over themselves [to keep from sinning sexually once in a while],
THEY SHOULD MARRY; for it is better to marry than to burn. . . 17
¦ But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord
has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain
in all churches.18 [Was] any called having been
circumcised? Do not be uncircumcised. Was anyone
called in uncircumcision? Do not be circumcised. . . .
20 Let each one remain in the calling in which he was
called. 21 Were you called as a slave? It does not
matter to you, but if you are able to become free, use
[it] rather. . . . 24 Each in whatever way he was called,
brothers, in this remain with God."
>>>>Doesn't this principle extend to include being
called in polygyny? Wouldn't it be like this? '¦ But as God has
distributed to each one, as the Lord
has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain
in all churches.18 [Was] any called in
polygyny/concubinage? Do not become monogynous.
. . . . . 20 Let each one remain in the calling in
which he was called.'
Consider the following: "That the good
purpose of marriage, however, is better promoted by
one husband with one wife, than by a husband with
several wives, is shown plainly enough by the very
first union of a married pair, which was made by the
Divine Being Himself, with the intention of marriages
taking their beginning therefrom, and of its affording
to them a more honorable precedent. In the advance,
however, of the human race, it came to pass that to
certain good men were united a plurality of good
wives, --- many to each; and from this it would seem
that moderation sought rather unity on one side for
dignity, while nature permitted plurality on the other
side for fecundity. For on natural principles it is more
feasible for one to have dominion over many, than for
many to have dominion over one."
[Footnote: >..34 2b A Select Library of the Nicene and
Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church; Vol. V; p.
267]
Ephesians 2:14-18 and Colossians 2:11-17,
confirmed by 2 Peter 3:15, show us that Jesus
reveals and instructs us to accept the end of the Law
of Moses, finally releasing believing Jews from
having to obey the Law of Moses (as the Gentiles
were in Acts 15) and then not many years later
causes the Jerusalem Temple to be destroyed so that
it would be impossible to keep on obeying the Law of
Moses with its sacrifices and temple worship.
This means that the marriage and morality
teachings of 1 Thess. 4 ; Romans 7; 1 Corinthians
5, 6 and 7 were written before the time of Acts
21:16 while Paul and the believing Jews, including
the apostles, were still obeying and teaching the
marriage and morality laws of the Law of Moses,
discussed at length above including polygyny . The
change of significance was not that
polygyny was condemned or forbidden but that
monogamy was made a prerequisite for holding an
official position of leadership in the local church.
The polygyny of the Jewish, Greek and Roman
world was not attacked, but the leadership of the
local churches was transformed by the monogamy
restriction, probably to prevent polygamous
leaders from getting involved in church service
that would result in the neglect of time with their
own children and/or wives. What was the actual
status of polygamy in New Testament time, the
First Century AD? Christian elders agree that
during Jesus' physical and visible walk on earth,
the Jews practiced polygamy>24."
[Footnote: >24. Trobisch; MY WIFE MADE ME..P.
23. ; "Polygamy was not definitely forbidden
among the Jews till the time of R. Gershom (c. A.d.
1000), and then at first only for France and
Germany. In Spain, Italy,m and the East it
persisted for some time longer, as it does still
among the Jews in Mohammedan counties".
HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE, p.584. ; A
Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. V, p. 267.;
A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. iv, p.290.;
A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. VIII, p. 258.
; St. Augustin: On The Trinity, p. 402.;
HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE, p.259,
583ff.]
WHAT THEN DOES THE NEW TESTAMENT ACTUALLY
SAY ABOUT POLYGYNY FOR BELIEVERS TODAY?
"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another
woman commits adultery against her." Mark 10:11 Pretty clear,
right? But did you note that nowhere in the Bible does He say "Whoever
remains married to his wife and marries another woman in polygyny
commits
adultery against her." Why? When Jesus walked on earth didn't He
Himself
command the apostles and His disciples to observe and obey
all of the Law of Moses>a., including the Laws about polygyny
cited in the following, and that the apostles and Jewish believers kept
and observed all the Laws given to Moses (including those about
polygyny) through the entire book of Acts>b period up until God
released the apostles and believing Jews from the Law of
Moses in Ephesians 2 and Colosians 2? What about the following
facts:
(1) Immediately after God gave Moses the ten commandments He
gave Moses instructions for men who have more than one
wife>14. .
(2) Later He gave Moses instructions (Dt.21:1ff) for a
husband who has two wives>15. .
(3) He gave Moses specific instructions for the brother-
in-laws of a widow and did not exempt any brother who was already
married>16. and Jesus introduced no such exemption when He spoke of
this passage>17.
(4) God Himself told polygynist King David (he had ten
+/- wives and concubines at the time>18. ) that He had been with him
wherever he had gone, that He would make a great name for him, that his
descendant would be the Messiah>19. , and that He Himself had given
David more than one wife>20.
(5) God, who cannot sin and never portrays Himself as
sinning, portrayed Himself as the polygynist husband of two wives
in Ezekiel 23.
[Footnotes: >a. Matthew 23:1-3
>b. In Matthew 23:1-3 Jesus commands obedience to the
Laws given to Moses. In Acts 15 the believing non-Jews, not the
believing Jews, were released from the Laws given to
Moses. In Acts 21:15-25 we see the Jewish apostle Paul
and the surviving apostles still obeying the Law of Moses in
obedience to Christ in Matt. 23:1-3.
>14. Exodus 21:7-11 (See Hosea 3:2; Deut. 25:5-10;
Lev. 19:20)
>15. Deut. 21:15-17 (See 2 Chron. 24:3; Gen. 29:33; 1
Chron.5:2; 26:10; 2 Kings 2:9)
>16. Deut. 25:5-10
>17. Matt. 22:23-25; Mark 12:18-20; Luke 20:27-29
>18. 2 Samuel 5:13; 6:12-23
>19. 2 Samuel 7:8-17
>20. 2 Samuel 12:8 ; that this did not mean platonic care
is evident from 1 Kings 1:1-3; 2:13-25.
Does Jesus' statement "The two shall become
one flesh" mean that only one man and one woman
should become one flesh, as in monogamy>57 , as
most of the "leaders" maintain? Doesn't the Spirit uses
"The two shall become one flesh" principle in 1 Corinth. 6
to show "that he who is joined to a harlot is one body
with her" , and then uses the same "one flesh"
principle in Eph. 5 about a husband and his wife?
Do you recall the discussion of this issue in the section on
Adam and Eve?
1Cor.7:2's ". . . ..each [man] is commanded to be having
his own wife, and each [woman] is commanded to
be having her own husband" .
How can this be an argument for monogamy as most Christian leaders
maintain>62? Whenever Abraham had Sarah, he had his
own wife; and whenever Abraham had Hagar, he had his own wife, not
someone else's wife,right? When David had Ahinoam, didn't
he have his own wife? When David had Abigail, didn't he have his own
wife? When David had Maacah, didn't he have his own wife? When
David had Haggith, didn't he have his own wife, instead of having
another's wife? When David had Abital, didn't he have his
own wife? When he had Eglah, didn't he have his own wife,
not someone else's wife? Each time Jacob, Joash or Gideon
had one of their own wives in polygny, wasn't he having
his own wife/concubine? Wasn't each wife/concubine of
these polygamists having her own polygamous
husband? Isn 't this also true of a man and his concubine
with whom he has maritally covenanted>22 honorably before God?
Doesn't each polygynist have his own wife, and have each one of them
intimately and each one is his own wife? Doesn't each of the
polygynist's wives have her own husband and have him intimately in their marriage.
How does the passage above rebuke, demean or condemn polygyny? Doesn't
the
passage address marital faithfulness and exclude adultery, which
involves a
husband having another"s wife and a wife having one who is not her
own husband? Doesn't it restrict sexual "having" to marriage
with one"s own mate in monogyny or polygyny?
". . . ..let each man have his own wife, and let each
wife have her own husband" is not an argument for
monogamy as most Christian leaders maintain>62 .
Whenever Abraham, David, Jacob, Joash or Gideon
had one of their own wives, he was having his own
wife/concubine; and each wife/concubine of these
polygamists had her own polygamous husband. This
is also true of a man and his concubine with whom
he has maritally covenanted>22 honorably before
God. David had his own Abigail and Abigail had her
own David. David had his own Abigail and
Bathsheeba, and Bathsheeba and Abigail both had
their own David. The polygynist has his own wife,
and has each one of them intimately and each one is
his own wife. Each of the polygynist's wives has
her own husband and has him intimately in their
marriage. This passage does not rebuke, demean or
condemn polygyny. The passage addresses marital
faithfulness and excludes adultery, which involves
a husband having another"s wife and a wife having
one who is not her own husband. It restricts sexual
"having" to marriage with one"s own mate.
[Footnotes:>.62 Please see THE INSTITUTES OF
BIBLICAL LAW, by R. Rushdonney, p. 363. >22
Ezek. 16:8; Malachi 2:10-17; Neh. 9:38 with 1
Sam. 20:3-17; As in Matt. 1:18-24 and Luke 1 &
2, she was his "wife" by their covenant even before
their actual formal wedding.]
1 TIimothy 3: 1* ¦ Faithful [is] the word: If anyone
reaches out to overseership, he desires a good work. 2*
Then it behooves the overseer to be without reproach,
husband of only^ one wife, temperate, sensible, well-
ordered, hospitable, apt at teaching, 3 not a drinker, not
quarrelsome, not greedy of ill gain, but gentle, not
quarrelsome, not covetous, 4 ruling his own house well,
having children in subjection with all honor. 5 (For if a
man does not know to rule his own house, how shall he take
care of the church of God?) 6 not a novice, lest being
puffed up he may fall into the condemnation of the Devil. 7
But he must also have a good report from those on the
outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the
Devil.
8 ¦ Likewise the deacons [are to be] reverent, not double-
tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of ill gain, 9
having the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. 10
And let these also first be tested, then let them [use the
office of a deacon], being blameless. 11 Even so [their]
wives are to [be] reverent, not slanderers, temperate,
faithful in all things. 12 Let the deacons be the
husbands of only^ one wife, ruling [their] children and
households well.
[^ Strong's: "3391 mia; adj; only one;
J.B.Phillips: "he must be married to one wife only . . . .
TEV, WMS, NCV: "he must have only one wife" . . .
NASB, NIV: "the husband of one wife, . ."
BER: "one wife's husband . . ."
NEB: "faithful to his one wife . . ."
The American Bible (Catholic): "a bishop must be . . . married only
once . . "
MOF: "he must be married only once . . ."
Complete Jewish Bible: "he must be faithful to his wife"
TCNT:The Presiding-Officer should be . . . a faithful husband; . .
WEY: A minister then must be . . . true to his one wife, . .
CEV:" . . officials must be . . . faithful in marriage . . ."
MESSAGE: "A leader must be . . . committed to his wife . . ."]
This makes it clear that official leaders and official officers
of a local assembly of Jesus believers should not be polygynous.
This leaves polygynous Jesus believers free to be unofficial
visiting Bible teachers, missionaries, evangelists and counselors
serving local assemblies in unofficial ministry.
****Titus 1: 6 ¦ if anyone is blameless, husband of one
wife, having believing children, not accused of loose
behavior, or disobedient. 7 For an overseer must be
blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not full of
passion, not given to wine, not quarrelsome, not greedy for
ill gain; 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, discreet, just,
holy, temperate 9 holding fast the faithful word according
to the doctrine, that he may be able, by sound doctrine,
both to exhort and to convict the gainsayers.
>>>>Are these requirements only for elders,overseers and
deacons, or are they for all of us in Christ? Aren't we all
supposed to be without reproach, temperate, sensible,
well-ordered, not drinkers, not quarrelsome, not greedy
of ill gain, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous,
reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine,
having the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience, being
blameless, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all
things. having a good report from those on the outside?
>>>>But doesn't 1 Corinth. 12 and Ephes. 4 make it
plain that we all have different gifts so that some
[but not all] are hospitable, some [but not all] are
able to teach, some [but not all] rule their own
house well, some [but not all] have their children
in subjection with all honor, (For if one does not
know to rule his own house, how shall he take care
of the church of God?)? Since novices are not
expected to be able or qualified to be an elder,
overseer or deacon, doesn't that also mean that they
are therefore not expected to be mongynous? Since
all believers are not required to have the gift of
hospitality, of teaching, of ruling well and
effectively their children, and since all believers
are novices at one point in their spiritual lives,
then isn't it obvious that not all believers have the
gift (1 Cor. 7) of monogyny? If these standards
(especially monogyny) are to be required of all
believers, then what about those believers Paul
encourages to never marry at all so that they can
wait on God without distraction in times of
persecution? Isn't it clear that these requirements
are required only of those who seek to qualify for
such positions?
Husband of one wife: Yes! Definitely! An
elder/overseer/bishop/superintendent of a church
must be the husband of only one wife. Are we all
elders/overseers/bishops/ superintendents?
Clearly not. The unmarried are not. The married
who have unruly children are not. Husbands with
disrespectful, uncooperative and defiant wives are
not. The married and unmarried who are unable to
teach are not. All novices are not. Those with a bad
reputation, earned or unearned, among the unsaved
through slander or misunderstandings are not.
Those who don"t want a church leadership position
are not. That includes most of us, and most of us
are not covered by the injunction to be the husband
of only one wife.
There is the problem of the polygamous
mentality. A man who has learned to love
passionately and maritally more than one wife at
one time would be more vulnerable to sexual
temptation in church ministry than a man who has
learned to love passionately and maritally only one
wife at a time. A ministering polygamist in a
leadership position would be more likely to be
tempted to accept the advances/ propositions of an
unmarried sister in the church who falls in love
with him and he with her. This could result in sex
outside of marriage (fornication) or yet another
addition to his polygamous "harem". This would
stumble the saints and would be a reproach to the
unsaved. It would appear that a godly polygamist
would have to have a very low profile (no
leadership position) in the church, as the scripture
requires.
Douglas" New Bible Dictionary : MARRIAGE:
....."Monogamy is implicit in the story of Adam and
Eve, since God created only one wife for Adam. Yet
polygyny is adopted from the time of Lamech (Gn.
4:19), and is not forbidden inScripture. . . ...Polygamy
continues to the present day among Jews in Moslem,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African
countries."
HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE: . ". . Elkanah,
the husband of Hannah and Peninnah, is an
interesting example of a man of no particular position
who nevertheless had more than one wife; this may
be an indication that bigamy, at least, if not polygamy,
was not confined to the very wealthy and exalted. At
all events, polygyny was an established and
recognized institution from the earliest of times.">39
[Footnote: >39. HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE;
p.259.]
"Polygamy meets us as a fact: e.g. Abraham, Jacob, the
Judges, David, Solomon; 1 Ch 7:4 is evidence of its
prevalence in Issachar; Elkanah (1 Sam.1:1ff) is
significant as belonging to the middle class; Jehoida (2
Ch 24:3) as a priest. . .Legislation . . . safeguarded the
rights of various wives, slave or free; and according to
the Rabbinical interpretation of Lv 21:13>40. . . .the
high priest was not allowed to be a bigamist. . . The
marriage figure applied to the union of God and Israel
. . . implied monogamy as the ideal state. . . Being ..
apparently legalized, and having the advantage of
precedent, it was long before polygamy was formally
forbidden in Hebrew society, though practically it fell
into disuse; the feeling of the Rabbis was strongly
against it. Herod had nine wives at once. . . Its
possibility is implied by the technical continuance of
the Levirate law, [Deut. 25:5-10] and is proved by the
early interpretation of 1 Ti 3, whether correct or not.
Justin reproaches the Jews of his day [A.D.] with
having 'four or even five wives,' and marrying 'as
they wish, or as many as they wish.' The evidence of
the Talmud shows that in this case at least the
reproach had some foundation. Polygamy was not
definitely forbidden among the Jews till the time of R.
Gershom (c. A.D. 1000), and then at first only for
France and Germany. In Spain, Italy, and the East it
persisted for some time longer, as it does still among
the Jews in Mohammedan countries>41.
[Footnote: (>.(40. Septuagint Lev. 21:13 "He shall take
for a wife a virgin of his own tribe.". .>41. HASTINGS
DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; p.583ff.]
So what are you doing if you are condemning
polygyny in general as sin?Mark 7:8 "[For], leaving
the commandment of God, you hold what is delivered
by men [to keep] --washings of vessels and cups, and
many other such like things you do. 9 And he said to
them, Well do you set aside the commandment of
God, that you may observe what is delivered by
yourselves [to keep]. . . . 13 making void the word of
God by your traditional teaching which you have
delivered; and many such like things you do".
Pretty serious stuff, laying aside God's
commands so you can keep your own traditions and
making God's Word ineffective through your
traditions. It wont look good for those folks at the
judgment seat of Christ. What about all those third
world folks, especially the Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Oriental, and Africans, who are practicing
polygyny and are told that they have to dump and
abandon their extra wives &/or concubines in order
to become Christians, the biggest obstacle for the
Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental, and African
community? These "Christian" folks who feel their
own tradition about monogamy and polygyny must
be kept by Moslem, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Oriental,
and Africans and other third world polygamists for
them to become Christians sound like these folks:
****Mat.23:13 ¦ "But woe unto you, scribes and
Pharisees, hypocrites, for you shut up the kingdom of
the heavens before men; for *you* do not enter, nor
do you suffer those that are entering to go in."
I understand that Rev. Joseph Conrad Wold>*, a
Lutheran missionary in Liberia, maintains the
following points: 1. Some missionaries have become
like the Pharisees, knit picking legalists; 2. For
unbelievers it is more of a question of who is or is not
a polygamist rather than who is and who isn't a
Christian; 3. Rejecting polygamy has become the
rejecting of polygamists; 4. If Cornelious>45 could be
born again without circumcision, then surely
polygamists should be able to be born again without
cutting away their wives, breaking their solemn
promises and forcing their beloved and faithful wives
into adultery for survival; 5 Let the polygamist be lost
because he refused to love and obey Jesus, rather
than because he loved his wives too much to cause
them to suffer, or was too virtuous to be a
hypocrite.>70 He makes such an impassioned case I
hope you take the time to read the original. Truly the
commandments of men, condemning as sin and
forbidding polygamy, make of no effect the
commandments of God for so many.
[Footnote: >*GOD'S IMPATIENCE IN LIBERIA, Rev.
Joseph Conrad Wold, pp. 179ff. >45 (Acts 10 &
11). @>.@70 Trobisch, MY WIFE MADE ME. . .
Pp.16 & 17;].
http://polyamory.meetup.com/389/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Poly_Polygamy_Polygny_And_Jesus
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/BiblicalChristianPolygamyPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxBiblicalMarriagePolygamy2
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LynnAndLossRecovery
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyOption4ChristiansWithSTDs/ -
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/women-sharing-one-man-maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://www.flickr.com/groups/396188@N24/ - - personal
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygyny/
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christian_polygamy/
http://www.flickr.com/groups/christianpoly/
http://polygynouschristians.multiply.com/
http://biblicalpolygamy.multiply.com/